Chosen Pleasure

Was I the only one to get that vibe? Could it be that I was just yearning for some really good old school social play? Honestly, yeah, it probably was.

If we just had our newbies, we could’ve had an interesting season. I feel like whatever that game could’ve been would have been amazing.

Unfortunately, Grodner is always on her bullshit. Which is why Angela is back. We’ve got some network nonsense as well coming in. We’ve got not one, but two Survivors as well. I don’t watch Survivor. I have given it multiple tries over the years, and honestly it bores the hell out of me. I don’t care if anyone from Survivor shows up on Big Brother—they would and should be on my list of people to get out as soon as possible. Same with any returning players.

Of course, Grodner stays true to form and not one of the newbies is even eligible to play in the HoH competition, meaning they’re all on the line. So, Angela, Devins, and our third icon could play.

Okay, let’s talk about the dinosaur.

I love the dinosaur.

I despise Rachel. She is why I couldn’t give into last season. My disgust for her can be found going back all the way to 12.

When we saw the Vegas set part of me was hoping Memphis because, hello, it was clearly a mixology themed comp. But the knot in my stomach grew when that slim redhead actress picked up the letter. Then she came through the door declaring herself the queen.

RACHEL YOU ARE NOT THE QUEEN OF BIG BROTHER. SHUT YOUR BITCH ASS UP AND SIT DOWN YOU HONDA CIVIC.

I have long believed that part of the issues with Big Brother stem from Rachel herself. I can also put a lot of blame on Frankie as well.

Rachel misunderstood the core elements of Big Brother—and honestly, she still does.

Big Brother is not Field Day. It’s not just competitions. If you must constantly win competitions, then you are in trouble in this game. You haven’t made the connections that you need to survive.

So when she showed up, I closed my eyes, cursed the Big Brother Gods, and seriously asked myself if I want to keep watching this show.

Earlier in the episode, I had looked over at my boyfriend. I said man you would love the psychological aspect of this game, but the competitions are so cheesy you wouldn’t make it to the good stuff.

That was before a Dinosaur did us all a favor and took Rachel out for now.

Julie Chen Moonves announced it like it was breaking news.

What is this show?

So then we get Big Brother Unlocked with Derrick, Taylor, and now Jerry O’Connell. Because why not? Did CBS owe him some TV time from his contract with The Talk and this will fulfill it?

I miss Housecalls.

Oh, so we had to watch Unlocked, which let me tell you, it confused my boyfriend even more when he saw what I was watching. How do we explain this show to other people? We can’t.

Here we find out that Dee is the third reality icon now that Rachel has dissolved in a hot Volcano.

We got left with a HoH competition finally starting after they interviewed Rachel, and some nonsense about Andy the intern. Why is the intern guy like 40 years old? I mean that’s what I always pictured Skippy to look like so that narrative of him being handsy with the switch for the feeds fits.

Our newbies are all in danger of eviction.

You can’t tell me the icons won’t at least stick together until jury.

Here are some quick takeaways I had while watching the premiere.

Ashley looks older than 24, and she’s even more ditzy than I expected. She couldn’t find Enzo in the picture? Did she even try? I don’t trust her.

Drew, he’s going to rule a lot of the house, I think. He’s friendly, bubbly, but also not outwardly threatening physically.

Jason was the first one in the door. I don’t expect him to break the curse.

Barrett sketched me out a little bit.

Yash is going to be eaten alive in this house.

LaTrice could be super dangerous for the Icons and others.

Mallory reminds me of co-workers who specifically throw theme parties, talk about it in front of everyone, and then never invites co-workers to her parties. Like, "Look how cool I am—but none of you are invited."

Melody, girl, I refuse to believe your job is real.

Taylor, valid feelings about the Icons. Glad you didn’t have that moment in front of everyone else.

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