My treasure of everything. (^._.^)ﾉ

Mališa, otherwise known as Little One, is a pet pigeon owned by a conservative butler of the Austro-Hungarian aristocracy. She is loved, and she is pampered— until her owner is murdered in cold blood, and she is left to fend for herself in Sarajevo.

In the wilds of the city, she feeds from the poor, working nationalist radicals, and the vieux riches alike.

To Mališa, there are no ethical concerns. No politics. No burgeoning nationalism.

It was worth it.

That's the damn joke, that Asat Pramad was indeed the only father Himeko Murata ever knew. The joke is that Asat thought his daughter was dead and it was the final giant nail in Planarcadia's well deserved coffin. The joke is that even after the lie is revealed the thing Himeko is most mad about is that even after all this time her dad still isn't actually listening to her. The joke is that, after everything is said and done, the one thing Asat regrets is that Himeko won't call him "father" anymore.

The joke is that they genuinely loved each other. The joke is they directed so much fury and regret and sorrow at each other that the only thing you can possibly ever call them...is family.

Thinking about how wild it is, that Asat Pramad found it easier to assume that Motoko had somehow broken the established limitations of an Imagenae and had been traveling the cosmos for 15 years without dying........then to believe that Himeko was still alive.

Thinking about how the confrontation in the Dean's Office, when he mockingly talks about how Himeko supposedly abandoned her dreams and died. That she was afraid of the vastness of the cosmos, and afraid of the burden of responsibility, and instead retreated from it and handed everything to someone else, and then chose to die.

......when he isn't talking about Himeko AT ALL.

He's really talking about himself.

He is the one that glimpsed the vastness of the cosmos, and has become afraid. He's the one that now views the Trailblaze as this terrifying thing filled with endless possibility, and Himeko herself says in her Furbobo interview that she pities how he became trapped and paralyzed by the endless possibilities he saw. He couldn't move forward, and he was a coward too afraid to commit or choose.

He was also someone that had responsibility dropped in his lap in the most tragic circumstances. Akivili fell, Dolly turned to crystal, and everyone started turning on each other and infighting and abandoning the Express while looking to HIM to fix it all. No one realizing how broken he had become, and in the end he dropped it all on Falcon and left.

Ironically, he projected all his failings on to Himeko. He couldn't imagine that his frail little girl could be so strong-willed and brave, that she could surpass him in every possible way and manage to throw off the chains of fate to choose her own destiny.

I think it really is the cruelest, sickest joke in the end. Just not the cruel and sick joke Asat Pramad intended to play, because it was ultimately a joke on him.

That he managed to raise this exceptional, brave, strong-willed daughter that would embrace his stories, that would take to heart all the things he told her, and then she would charge forward with a determination that he ultimately lacked.

That in spite of all the ways he failed her in his absences and his being a literal monster, he really succeeded as a Father in ways that Ryusuke never could have.

Himeko says it herself, several times. She is who she is because of him, she would never have become the incredible person she is without him.

That's the damn joke, that Asat Pramad was indeed the only father Himeko Murata ever knew. The joke is that Asat thought his daughter was dead and it was the final giant nail in Planarcadia's well deserved coffin. The joke is that even after the lie is revealed the thing Himeko is most mad about is that even after all this time her dad still isn't actually listening to her. The joke is that, after everything is said and done, the one thing Asat regrets is that Himeko won't call him "father" anymore.

The joke is that they genuinely loved each other. The joke is they directed so much fury and regret and sorrow at each other that the only thing you can possibly ever call them...is family.

Her father — the man who raised her and gave her that dream — was a monster all along. He destroyed civilizations. And she tells him — you're a monster.

And then — minutes after she found out.

After she realized that this monster was wearing her father's skin — that she never knew her biological father — minutes later — she stands in front of him and says: "Thank you for giving me the dream of the Trailblaze."

She's terrifyingly clear-headed about who's in front of her.

She never forgets his role in her dream — not for a second. She doesn't forget that he was the reason she dreamed of the train — and why she knows so much. He taught her. And minutes later — she thanks him.

That killed me.

And he's just — "I'm about to destroy a planet... I killed your father, I lied to you — how are you not angry?"

She is angry. She's very angry. But she keeps it all inside.

Remember — she started her plan with the gravitational waves in the first seconds — before he even trapped her in the painting. She knew he would do it. She knew.

At the beginning of the quest, you can see her agreeing with him at some point — and talking about Himeko in the third person. It wasn't a plan to reveal her cards until the very end.

These are two incredibly smart people meeting — playing psychological games.

And the worst part?

She figures out he's both Enroute and Isee on her own. Ashveil doesn't get to share all the intel they gathered at the Tavern — so Himeko learns it from her father's own words.

Literally less than half an hour — and she finds out that a Lord Ravager raised her. That he was also the same Navigator Isee who inspired her.

And yet — she tries to give him a chance. Navigator to Navigator.

Tries to understand who truly Asat, a nameles, a monster, her fathe, a fool, who he is? "You never care abot you daughter or my story" - omg it was hurt. "You just want to know how and who ingine the express, why himeko found Pegana's legacy, who give it to her, who is Aha?" "So i am dexlare you our enemy, because you betrayed the Trailblaze"

But she still wanted give him a chance.

And he doesn't understand her. At all.

He understands everyone else's motives and actions — except hers. Every move she makes — every decision — throws him off balance.

They played psycho games and she win. Evey single round.

"My sick daughter couldn't have fought the Herald of Death." — Well, she did. She was in a wheelchair — and she fought. And she win. You don't know her.

"god help her" - they didn't. It was just her and her imagination dream. She was alone.

"She built a secret base!" — You weren't there. It was her mother's workshop. Her mother who she lost at six, and i think nobody talks about her mother with the her, because you don't know her mother, you don't told Himeko about her mother. Probably she wven don't remember.

"She reignited the Express by wishing on Aha!" — No. You were a Navigator. Don't you know the engine can't be lit with Elation?

"She can't escape from here, she spent enerty here a i wiil be reaching her like a butterfly" — she came up with and executed a plan the moment the Giant appeared. Right at the moment you didn't attack her. The explosion at the school and the summoning of the Giant — were accompanied by a gravitational wave — which served as the start of the signal.

"'We'll remember her happiest childhood days — and I'll tell her how I manipulated her — that should break her.'"

And then — while you were extracting her history — she — from just ten minutes of talking to you — managed to figure out how your powers work. Learn that you were a Navigator of Isee — and a Fool — Enroute. And successfully keep the secret that she's not a creation. And transmit information through her escape plan.

"'I'll laugh so hard when all these painful memories layer into her — that's true Elation." She meets her friend — and finds a way to close her own personal trauma. (The scene where she talks to Motoko.)

"'While we're talking here — my clones are already sowing apocalypse outside." She believes her team successfully stopped the apocalypse — and that any second now — they'll find a way to limit Asat's use of clones. (I believe that a second later — he unravels — because Yao Guan limited his abilities.)

"She painted an ideal Navigator." — How shocked he was, realizing it was his daughter. That she became that ideal Navigator.

He kept saying her imagination created a perfect copy — a dream — a perfect Navigator — the embodiment of the Nameless.

And then he tried to twist it: "It's just a Phantasm — a lie — and she died for it. How can the Trailblaze be built on my daughter's death? How can your Trailblaze be pure and heroic — if its foundation is that girl's death — and a dream she'll never fulfill?"

And then he just stands there — "Hmm... what just happened? This perfect Navigator — is my real daughter?"

And in the final battle — she screams at him: "You had so many chances. So many paths. And you didn't walk a single one. You never understood what they meant. You're a coward — and I pity you."

And beneath all of that — she still says: "He showed me what it means to take the wrong turn on this path. I'm grateful he showed me that path — so we can swear never to become like him." (A line about Asat.)

Her image — her ideal future — ate her. Nothing remained of her except the dream and the drive toward that ideal she created.

And over time — she became exactly who she wanted to be: the perfect Navigator of the Astral Express.

She stepped into that future with joy and determination. She left behind the terminally ill girl. All that fear and childhood — left behind. The girl in the wheelchair — dying from a curse — stayed in the past.

The only thing connecting her to the real Himeko is the dream — and the resolve.

And no one — looking at Himeko now — would see who she used to be.

And that eats her.

Because she knows — this is a lonely path. Her past shaped her — and her view of the world, her perspective — is colored by that experience. She is alone in her place and her pursuit.

She is a child — who had no future — only a dream.

No one knows. No one saw how she started this journey — what sacrifices, what wounds she carries. Her trauma and pain — those aren't things that belong to the present Navigator.

None of them see that hee journey starts from blood, fear, hopeless drem, sacrifice and loneliness because she want change it to "it's start from a dream...and hope"

The real Navigator isn't afraid — so she buries her fear as deep as possible.

The real Navigator is gentle and kind — so she stays gentle and kind.

The real Navigator paves the way forward — so she doesn't dare look back.

The real Navigator upholds the Trailblaze — even in the face of the apocalypse — so she throws herself into battles with monsters and never retreats.

The real Navigator isn't afraid to stand before people — no matter their position — and defend the principles of the Trailblaze. So she stands before corporation heads, Geniuses, kings — and declares: "I am the Navigator of the Astral Express — and this is the path of the Trailblaze."

In the end — she becomes the future she dreamed of.

And that eats her.

Because no one sees her struggle. No one sees her fears.

She is who she wanted to be.

She is who she dreamed to be.

And between her and others — there's an invisible wall of perfection and secrets — and it eats her.

Of course — in the end — she looks at her past.

And she has to admit — she's still ready to move forward — no matter the cost. But she doesn't have to do it alone anymore. Not anymore.

Because now — she's moving beyond the ideal future.

She can allow herself to stop being perfect — because there are people who will walk beside her.

And in this moment she finally can move forward. To become someone more that perfect navigator.