my bug-eyed chihuahua girlfriend would rip your golden retriever boyfriend limb from limb btw. i showed her his instagram and she started shaking and ate a cigarette off the ground

People who act aggressive and negative as fuck and then when you’re like “hey can you stop” they’re like “I’m going through some stuff 🥺🥺🥺” like damn dude that’s crazy me too - for example right now I’m going through YOUR behavior.

“I’m dealing with a lot 🥺🥺🥺” and I’m dealing with you so I guess we’re even

Black Friday is such a joke nowadays. “Don’t miss out on 30% off” don’t piss me the fuck off. People used to hit each other over the head for a microwave that’s how low the prices were. People literally died. We used to be a country

me having delusions of grandeur “ i could survive a black hole”