KalPoo

lane’s defiance is a result of his mother’s domineering behavior, along with wanting to conform to the gender patriarchy. we do not know the full extent of his relationship with his mom, but with some tidbits we can already gather an idea on the difficult childhood he had. 

trigger warning / tw for mentions of emotional abuse

surrounding his mother:

as described by Lane, his mom constantly framed herself as a victim. while it is true Lane had done a lot of things which would indirectly hurt her, her response to his rebelliousness only made it worse. she was overly critical of him, making him feel cornered and grow resentment as she nitpicked every thing he did. this affected his self image greatly, making him believe he never could be perfect or good-enough. It would lead to his future relationships to have conflict, constantly hypercritical of others or himself.

many things point to her attempting to guilt trip Lane, mostly in the form of tears. she cried in the kitchen as she told him she has made many sacrifices for her children. she called him selfish for not wanting to hug her. she cried when Lane got his face pierced. in short, she used her parental sacrifice as a manipulation tactic. when you have a child, it is your responsibility to take care of and fulfill basic needs. Its an obligation of a parent, not to be used as a favor to demand things of them.

his mom was emotionally abusive to him, is my takeaway from the information we learned. It can be seen as conflicting as he was giving his mother a hard time, but at the end of the day she was responsible for constructing the correct response to his behavior. she failed to correct it, only worsening his attitude, a part of the reason why he is the way he is now.

toxic masculinity :

Lane’s friends and society itself was also a contributor to Lane’s misogynistic perception. toxic masculinity is an issue prevalent in society, as young men are vulnerable to be influenced by these social norms. the desire to comply with social expectations, causes them to be more likely to exhibit prejudicial practices. along with that, because of the message toxic-masculinity sends, avoiding engaging in any behavior that makes them ‘less of a man.’ when we learn more about his life at school, it humanizes his character. as he becomes seen as an individual shaped by those around them.

men thrive off of offensive humor, those actions are promoted when it garners a positive reaction. they crave validation, so they seek it. Lane relies on sexist, bigoted humor to validate his masculinity. it showcases his unconscious belief that validating his manhood requires constant degradation of others. if a man believes he is not fulfilling the traditional roles of masculinity, they’ll participate on damaging self serving actions to restore their senses of self and avoid being questioned.

When MC bites back, he commonly resorts to throwing back a comment that is meant to be degrading of her female identity. men are conditioned to be stoic and avoid negotiation, to obtain control and dominance over the situation. he resorts to discriminatory remarks to assert superiority over her, in an attempt to regain his authority.

bad habits

Lane has a copious amount of bad habits which can be a result of depression along with trauma ( the two making is significantly more likely.) it can cause emotional numbness, which makes people seek out an escape.

when your body is constantly on high alert, it uses an extensive amount of energy. making what seems like small tasks hard to maintain. trauma alters the brains ability to function normally, impairing your ability to control your actions and make logical decisions. which explains why he acts on impulse.