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Lane as a victim of mother-son incest, from the lens of a victim.
SPOILERS FOR SHIFT 3, and trigger warning for mentions of incestous abuse.
Lalys most qna question practically confirmed it for me, but I wanted to repost what I said in a post concerning Lane’s mothers behavior.
his mom is not only emotionally abusive, but their dynamic is also best catogorized as emotionally incestual. I know incest is a taboo
incest is described as a blur between and or the lack of boundries between the victim and the perpetrator. it is not always sexual, but emotional too. more commonly does it appear, when a perpetrator is already abusive towards their victim.
I say that Lane’s mom showcases this type of abuse because she has constantly overstepped his boundries, and had attempted to rip his autonomy from him. That being his piercings , who he is friends with and partners with , and his general way of presenting himself. signs of emotional incest include :
• child feeling as if they have to care for their abusers emotional needs, sometimes being at the expense of another family members relationship
• child seems emotionally mature for their age due to parentification
• abuser becomes jealous when the child has a romantic partner or close friend
• child struggles with emotional neglect despite how close the bond seems, affecting their performance in school and mental health.
for his mom she showcases boundary diffusion , jealousy & attempt of control , and emotional eneshment.
she expected him to agree with everything she asked for, and when he rebelled against it she was struck with guilt and panic at the idea of him becoming independent ( also giving him the ‘ silent treatment ’. )
I believe this relationship most formed after Lane’s father died , and she began projecting her emotional needs onto him.
her unhealthy dynamic with him could have been a factor in leading to him : abusing substances , having low self esteem , depression , and trouble in future relationships.
in addition , his mothers lack of emotional support unconciously may have led to him to seek out an older partner to find the care he lacked as a child. ( for example , bianca . but that is just a guess . )
do keep in mind this is an interpretation. I did want to actually acknowledge this in my very first post regarding his analysis but the topic of incest is sensitive for me and I would hate to be interpreting things wrongly. I apologize greatly if I have done so anyway.
Lane's mom definitely has traits that overlap with emotional incest/enmeshment in the sense that she has very poor emotional boundaries with Lane and struggles to accept him forming close relationships outside of her.
!!!!!!!!BUT i DONT intend it as a sexual dynamic!!!!!!!!!
yes, definitely not sexual! it makes me sad when people don’t realize that incestous experiences manifest differently 🥲 as a abusive dynamic can be physical and or emotional.
Lane as a victim of mother-son incest, from the lens of a victim.
SPOILERS FOR SHIFT 3, and trigger warning for mentions of incestous abuse.
Lalys most qna question practically confirmed it for me, but I wanted to repost what I said in a post concerning Lane’s mothers behavior.
his mom is not only emotionally abusive, but their dynamic is also best catogorized as emotionally incestual. I know incest is a taboo topic for many, but please hear me out here.
incest is described as a blur between and or the lack of boundries between the victim and the perpetrator. it is not always sexual, but emotional too. more commonly does it appear, when a perpetrator is already abusive towards their victim.
I say that Lane’s mom showcases this type of abuse because she has constantly overstepped his boundries, and had attempted to rip his autonomy from him. That being his piercings , who he is friends with and partners with , and his general way of presenting himself. signs of emotional incest include :
• child feeling as if they have to care for their abusers emotional needs, sometimes being at the expense of another family members relationship
• child seems emotionally mature for their age due to parentification
• abuser becomes jealous when the child has a romantic partner or close friend
• child struggles with emotional neglect despite how close the bond seems, affecting their performance in school and mental health.
for his mom she showcases boundary diffusion , jealousy & attempt of control , and emotional eneshment.
she expected him to agree with everything she asked for, and when he rebelled against it she was struck with guilt and panic at the idea of him becoming independent ( also giving him the ‘ silent treatment ’. )
I believe this relationship most formed after Lane’s father died , and she began projecting her emotional needs onto him.
her unhealthy dynamic with him could have been a factor in leading to him : abusing substances , having low self esteem , depression , and trouble in future relationships.
in addition , his mothers lack of emotional support unconciously may have led to him to seek out an older partner to find the care he lacked as a child. ( for example , bianca . but that is just a guess . )
do keep in mind this is an interpretation. I did want to actually acknowledge this in my very first post regarding his analysis but the topic of incest is sensitive for me and I would hate to be interpreting things wrongly. I apologize greatly if I have done so anyway.
I really wanted to see Lane at a graduation ceremony so I drew this! But honestly... would this guy even bother to show up to his own graduation? (･_･; 🎓
SPOILERS FOR BBD SHIFT 3 : LANE'S ROUTE #1 ( PT. 2 )
hello! if you saw my previous post about Lane, I have created a second part of things I forgot to mention the first time ~
thank you very much for your support on my last analysis! I am very grateful (*/ω＼)
trigger warning / tw for mentions of emotional abuse .
survival mechanisms
something I forgot to bring up for my last post was that Lane’s behavior can also be interpreted as a survival mechanism. fight , flight , and freeze are all survival mechanisms victims can take when they perceive a threat. I believe Lane took on the fight response only because of what his current actions showcase. I don't believe its mentioned how Lane reacted to his mothers abuse, but it is stated it seems as if he's had anger building up from the past (which can also be interpreted as a possible freeze response, as he did not act on it before but wish he had than.)
as for why I think he fought back than, is due to his present behaviors. due to years of abuse, his body was conditioned to be on high alert. small inconveniencies and conflicts are interpreted as a threat, prompting him to ‘overreact’ and become irritable.
any future decisions would become difficult, as when the ‘fight’ reflex is triggered adrenaline follows. it impairs your ability to think rationally, and make calm decisions in stressful scenarios. ( it could also explain why he impulsively fought BB, but I do think his identity as a male is a factor. )
an individual can unconsciously adopt this mechanism as an ingrained habit. unconsciously, he may resort to yelling or attempting to dominate the conversation in order to feel safe if he feels threatened. since his body is quite used to this response, it will in the future attempt to identity any patterns of danger. unfortunately, causing a person to misinterpret certain comments as a personal attack.
honeymoon phase
I do want to point out as well that the gifts Lane receives from his mother can be interpreted as a manipulation tactics and an attempt to control him. It is a phase in abuse where they attempt to shower their victim with gifts. the ultimate goal of this is to lower their guard and create guilt.
from what I remember, Lane said that the cards commonly have money in them. her objective of that is to gain forgiveness and compliance, while avoiding taking accountability for her actions.
my own thoughts :
what I like so much about his character is that his flaws are tied both to his abusive situation , trauma , and his identity as a male. some of them lean more towards one side, while some can be interpreted as both.
he is a very complex character, hence why I like him so much. thank you laly for writing such a extraordinary character! for my own personal reasons, I find myself feeling a great sense of affinity. (,,•́ω ก̀,,)
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based on what we learned from Lane's own account, I wrote my own takeaway from it ! I would love if you could read it when you so desire ! I apologize profusely if I misinterpreted anything.
now's a good time to mention, I am very passionate about psychology 🤍
lane’s defiance is a result of his mother’s domineering behavior, along with wanting to conform to the gender patriarchy. we do not know the full extent of his relationship with his mom, but with some tidbits we can already gather an idea on the difficult childhood he had.
trigger warning / tw for mentions of emotional abuse
surrounding his mother:
as described by Lane, his mom constantly framed herself as a victim. while it is true Lane had done a lot of things which would indirectly hurt her, her response to his rebelliousness only made it worse. she was overly critical of him, making him feel cornered and grow resentment as she nitpicked every thing he did. this affected his self image greatly, making him believe he never could be perfect or good-enough. It would lead to his future relationships to have conflict, constantly hypercritical of others or himself.
many things point to her attempting to guilt trip Lane, mostly in the form of tears. she cried in the kitchen as she told him she has made many sacrifices for her children. she called him selfish for not wanting to hug her. she cried when Lane got his face pierced. in short, she used her parental sacrifice as a manipulation tactic. when you have a child, it is your responsibility to take care of and fulfill basic needs. Its an obligation of a parent, not to be used as a favor to demand things of them.
his mom was emotionally abusive to him, is my takeaway from the information we learned. It can be seen as conflicting as he was giving his mother a hard time, but at the end of the day she was responsible for constructing the correct response to his behavior. she failed to correct it, only worsening his attitude, a part of the reason why he is the way he is now.
toxic masculinity :
Lane’s friends and society itself was also a contributor to Lane’s misogynistic perception. toxic masculinity is an issue prevalent in society, as young men are vulnerable to be influenced by these social norms. the desire to comply with social expectations, causes them to be more likely to exhibit prejudicial practices. along with that, because of the message toxic-masculinity sends, avoiding engaging in any behavior that makes them ‘less of a man.’ when we learn more about his life at school, it humanizes his character. as he becomes seen as an individual shaped by those around them.
men thrive off of offensive humor, those actions are promoted when it garners a positive reaction. they crave validation, so they seek it. Lane relies on sexist, bigoted humor to validate his masculinity. it showcases his unconscious belief that validating his manhood requires constant degradation of others. if a man believes he is not fulfilling the traditional roles of masculinity, they’ll participate on damaging self serving actions to restore their senses of self and avoid being questioned.
When MC bites back, he commonly resorts to throwing back a comment that is meant to be degrading of her female identity. men are conditioned to be stoic and avoid negotiation, to obtain control and dominance over the situation. he resorts to discriminatory remarks to assert superiority over her, in an attempt to regain his authority.
bad habits
Lane has a copious amount of bad habits which can be a result of depression along with trauma ( the two making is significantly more likely.) it can cause emotional numbness, which makes people seek out an escape.
when your body is constantly on high alert, it uses an extensive amount of energy. making what seems like small tasks hard to maintain. trauma alters the brains ability to function normally, impairing your ability to control your actions and make logical decisions. which explains why he acts on impulse.
even if he attempts to deny it, he is suffering from depression and the affects of living in an abusive household. its caused him to adopt habits that are self-destructive, as a way to cope. he is stuck in a place which he does not know how to get out of, and to some extent he is aware of this. but starting is easier than stopping.
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