Ni²⁸

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ur first playthrough of yakuza 0 is fuckin wild if youve never played a yakuza game before (like me) like u start the game n ur playin as this kiryu guy who everyone says is the main character so ur like ok cool. u fuck around with some side missions. maybe sing some karaoke or do some disco with kiryus pal nishiki. theyre both fuckin nerds. u love them anyway. its fun. u play the main story. u get to this cutscene with this guy wearin an eyepatch. ur like oh shit its the other guy on the cover of the game. hes so cool. n then the game makes u play as him. hes so fuckin cool. this bitch. majima. I bet he has a dramatic ass sad backstory. then the games shows u his dramatic ass sad backstory n ur like shit. I love this sad eyepatch man. Ill kill this wrinkly old sagawa piss drinking fuck. but majima is so sad and u miss kiryu n nishiki. u miss karaoke. then u figure out u can do karaoke with majima n ur like oh shit yes. u go to the karaoke bar alone bc majima has no friends. thats sad. theres only 1 song available. its called 24 hour cinderella. ur expecting it to be some deep angsty shit bc majima is tragic n sad n lonely. u hit play. its a pop song. hmm. majima has a good voice. then next thing u know majima is doin backflips in a pair of roller skates. hes also wearin a holographic glittery suit. there are rainbow hearts n stars in the background. u dont care about nishiki or kiryu anymore