making every conversation into being about The Character with the same reliability and conviction of a youth pastor going “you know who else partied? our lord and savior”

Dude my coworker left a scrumptious cookie unattended

whenever one of my posts is tagged #fave or whatever i like to take a look around in there, check the curation and all that, see how prestigious the club i've been inducted into is

manipulate your genitals

thank god for breasts *remembers im atheist* thank science for breasts

everyone tell me one good thing that happened to you this week. or something you're proud of! it can be something as small as seeing a cool bug or brushing your teeth twice a day ♡

The trope where people don't recognize each other because it's been so long since they last interacted and they've both changed so much that they're basically strangers UNTIL one of them does their Signature Thing™ and the other just stops dead because oh. It's YOU. All at once it's so clearly you

Ao3 version that lets you open the 'director's cut' where I, the author, explain every detail in excruciating detail to you and what it is in reference to.

#it’s called sending me an ask and I tell you way more info than you actually wanted @newbromantics