This life should be wonderful, you know

The way this artist paints the sky 🌙✨

Alfred Stevens

Words spill over me:

Sound waves from a year ago

About murders from decades ago.

I sit crying on the floor,

Admonishing myself

For calmly relaying my problems to you.

You prove you don’t listen,

No matter how calm and gentle and understanding

I am.

You all take advantage of me.

I get it.

You’re all traumatized.

Here’s my lament;

I can’t compromise one wanting better;

On expecting… better.

There is more to life than:

Cleaning others messes,

Ignoring remarks that make my skin crawl,

Psychoanalyzing myself on the cold kitchen tile,

Begging the universe or Creator for answers,

Placing good hope and care into things that will be broken,

Dreaming of more and not moving forward.

I cannot survive this way

Unless I turn off every part of me that matters.

I won’t do that anymore.

I will say things kindly,

Kinder than I ever have,

But prepare for me to never shut up.

The bar is raised.

Meet me up there

Or be left behind.

This time next year,

I won’t be silencing my sorrow

Alone on the ground again.

I am growing.

I don’t need to wait for you,

Despite my great desire we all stretch towards the sun.

I hope you all face forward with me.

I hope you are a little more observant.

I hope you find more motivation.

I mostly hope you are more careful

Of not letting your rotting roots

Choke out the healthy ones I am desperately reaching out with.