Mark my Fucking Worms

stop. analyse that text through the lens of its author's intentions and original historical context. okay now take the author out back and kill them dead and analyse that text as though it were published by your mutual yesterday and is in direct conversation with the contemporary discourse that's most relevant to your life. okay now pick your favorite angle of interpretation and come up with the strongest possible argument against it. now imagine that the text is your best friend and that it means you well and that you naturally give it every benefit of the doubt because you're on its side and you want the best for it. now imagine that the text wants you dead and it'll eat you if you don't eat it first. now pretend that you found this text locked away in a cave with no evidence of when or where it came from and you have to divine its meaning solely through its internal coherence and nothing else. okay now address the elephant in the room aspect of the text you've been ignoring because you find it boring or confusing or uncomfortable and become the number one expert on it. now spend forty minutes assigning all the characters dnd classes with at least three sentences of reasoning each. okay now do the cha cha slide.

i think every video game that has an arachnophobia mode that censors spiders should also have a mode that does the opposite and adds even more spiders to the game just for fun. because i like spiders :)

crazy how i find myself thinking i've got a handle on it all finally and then i see the ways that other people tangle their lives together so easily and live so easily together with their friends and i feel like that girl at the top of the stairs painting by norman rockwell

sorry my hands are so cold all the time it's cuz i died a few years back

It looks like someone off-screen is telling the hyena that they can't go into the forest because there's a werewolf and it looks so upset about it.

printers behave like that because the medieval monks they put out of work are haunting them

tumblr seriously needs to stop fucking changing things all the time. if we wanted a modern site we'd go literally anywhere else. we are here because we hate change and live in the past and that should be respected.

I'm genderfluid but mostly my gender is just "idiot" so I use she/huh and he/hm? pronouns

I go by those they/umm pronouns too