Just Muddling Through

200 days ago I posted my current debt on Aug 30th 2020.

After paying down all the credit cards and getting my head straight again from a few years ago - I got myself into it again and made a few bad investments (purchases)

I sold my horse in Sept 2020 - used the money from her sale to pay off the damn vacuum and the one credit card. Sad thing was that the credit card was really $2,165 and the vacuum pay off wasn’t $2000 - it was $3129 😱

Omg 😱

Anyways - I used the credit card a few times here and there but paid it off ASAP.

I then worked on my other two credit cards - working the balances down. Today I was able to finally pay them off 100 - no more credit card debt. Yes 🙌.

Now I’m rolling my old credit card payments into my car payment to knock it out ASAP.

Here I am. Sitting sipping coffee at 6am thinking.

Thinking about my day ahead, my to do list, my want to do list, my I don’t give a flying shit list 🤣

Mental countdown 4 hours till bug guy comes -

MUST. CLEAN. HOUSE.

Ugh. I swear I just cleaned last week - it was really Sunday and today is Thursday. I in reality only need/want to touch it all up - make sure we don’t look like total slobs. Maybe light a few candles or something to make the house smell nice. Not sure why I’m trying to impress a man who kills bugs for a living - it’s not like my house should be on Hoarders. 🤷‍♀️

This morning I am struggling some. I’m in a funk - mentally. I feel the pressure of life and “working it all out.” Nothing major - it will all be ok and really has started to be ok already.

As I felt the tears swell up in my eyes, I got mad. Mad at myself for wanting to cry. Why because I’m a freaking strong bitch. Not just physically, but mentally. Mentally strong like Swiss cheese - you know with hole - no like an English muffin — all of those delicious nooks and crannies (filled with butter.) Yum butter.

Anyways - I get so pissed at myself for wanting to cry. The tears welling up in my eyes - I feel like I should be stronger. I shouldn’t cry. I’m tougher than stupid tears. I cry when I’m upset, sad, mad (like that unfortunately timely cry in the middle of an argument), happy. Happy cries are the best - tears running down our faces - hopefully not our legs too. Mom bladder issues - dang kids.

Crying is a great release - I think we don’t allow ourselves to utilize it enough. This is because we feel often too strong to cry - because we don’t want to feel weak. We especially don’t want to be weak during an argument. Can’t seem tough as our mascara streaks our faces and we sniffle while screaming obscenities or try to validate our side. Looking like a back alley clown.

It’s ok Tribe - go get a good cry out. I prefer to hid in solitude and do it. Or while driving to work and my mind wonders to things weighing on my heart. The puffy eyed look after sucks but it’s temporary. Even though I think I should be team #nocry. I know deep down - I’m team cry. Even though it pisses me off.

Think of crying as washing away your toxic thoughts. Cleansing the body of stress. A rinse cycle on the washer for example - rinse away all of the dirt, grime and come out fresh and clean.

Maybe follow the rinse cycle with a spinning of the wine bottle right into a wine glass....

No hear me ... YA’LL

No ... let me rephrase ..... Mom’s.

Mom — listen up 👂

Mom’s stop. Breathe.

No, no, no — really deep, lungs filled to the top inhale and hold it (1..2..3..4..5), exhale slowly and lower those shoulders.

We are about to talk about — us. Ourselves — or relly me to you. But you the you that is not wife, mom, maid, cook, chauffeur, employee, etc... The you that is still deep within — the you that isn’t labeled by who or what you society says is you.

I think I’ll call y’all my tribe - tribe of strong, willful woman 🥰 so happy to have you.

Here I am post locking my bathroom door for a soak in the tub. It was a quick one - haphazardly at that. 🤷‍♀️ no candles, bright lights - forgot my loofah on the counter. Phone not charged - ugh. BUT it was a good one.

Why? It was my 15 minutes of me time. No kids or knocking hubby wanting something, even the dogs were quiet. I was my time to self care. It’s not much but it’s something. I soak in the tub with Epson salts, maybe a few bubbles. I say a few because I don’t have proper bubble bath stuff - I need to to put that on the list 😉

I soak in hot water, I’ll shave my legs or take off my chipped and worn nail polish. Or I’ll cruise the internet aka Facebook, TicTok, etc. Or just sit and think in peace.

The point is I am taking a mere 15 minutes out of 10,080 minutes a week to dedicate to myself, my mind, my body, myself care.

We as moms, wife’s, employees, etc forget to serve our needs mentally and emotionally. We are tense, exhausted, worn, and often feel like we aren’t enough or doing enough. We feel inadequate, we need to do more or make ourselves more for our families.

All we really HAVE to do tribe is keep ourselves and kids alive. Right it’s the circle of life - keep your young alive. 🦁 JUST KIDDING 🤨 back off Karen. This is a Karen free zone, sorry - totally not sorry. Karen’s a bitch. (There I said it.)

Ok, back to point. We pressure ourselves too much! Think, are you already mentally preparing for the day, making a mental do to list. Or are you like me currently- making my to do list for tomorrow:

Clean the house

*mop, vacuum, sweep, wipe surfaces, etc

Pest control coming - write a check for him

Wash and fold 🧺 laundry

Plan dinner for the next three nights- when I’m at work

Kids and school work

Vacuum the car - it needs a wash too 🤦‍♀️

Should I make homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast?

Sigh.

What I really want to do:

Stay in my pajamas all day, sip coffee ☕️ (aka: my life line) scroll the internet mindlessly and watch what ever mindless crap I can find on the TV 📺

But my family wants to eat - every👏dang👏day👏

I don’t want my pest control guy to think I NEED his services because I’m a crappy housekeeper. 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Tribe - he seen the house a wreck - my silly ass forgot he was coming and we had who knows what (dishes, laundry, dog toys, messy beds, etc) OMG. I want to tel myself he’s seen worst - or at least I hope so. I want to add a side note - my house is clean - ish. Just don’t come on a day I’m at work and have left my family to it’s own devices in house alone... it’s like a pack of wolves.

The point is we are always 10 steps ahead of ourselves- planning, worrying, “working it all out” about the home, kids, hubby, etc. But do we really take that time for us? What do we need?

Is our own self care so precarious that we don’t even bother to schedule our own time. And let’s be honest- when we do we feel guilty. Or we rush home to our families to tend to them.

Stop.

Take that deep breath in — fill your lungs all the way. Hold it (1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5) Exhale slowly- relax those shoulders Tribe.

We are the foundation- the pillars of our home. The support. What happens to a weakened support? It falls, crumpled to the ground. Rubble. 😞 You are not rubble. You are strong.

But even the strongest foundation needs maintenance. This is going to be self care.

Tribe, the goal is to schedule your 15 minutes out of 10,080 this week for you. You don’t have to soak in the tub- that may not be your thing. But you do have to choose something to do. Anything you like:

Go for a walk

Shop at your favorite store - alone - no kids/hubby

Get a mani/pedi

Paint your own nails

Journal

Listen to music

Watch an episode of a show you love or a movie

Paint, draw, craft, make something

Start a new hobby you’ve wanted to try

Write a letter to a loved one

Learn a new dance or just dance

Lay in the dark and stare at the night sky (not Fla safe - the misquotes will carry you off here!)

Get up early and have coffee watching the sun rise

You decide and you make a point to do it.

Do this now!

Pick the activity to work on you - your foundation

The day you can/want to

The time that’s best

And do it.

Back-in debt 😖😖😖😖

Reduction in my hubs work hours - life - it all adds ups

I’m not happy - but here we are. 🤷‍♀️

Quick run down:

Two credit cards $5k each

One credit card $1,700

Vacuum $2000 — we’ll talk about this later 🤦‍♀️

My car $9k

My husbands truck $17k

RV $12k — talk about this later too 🤦‍♀️

And Morgage $60k

There it all is.

Plan of attack is to wipe out the smaller credit card and vacuum payment first.

I’ve made a few decisions to hopefully help.

I’m getting rid of my horses - I spend at minimum $300 per month to feed them and honestly I don’t use them like I used to.

One is a free lease, will return to her owner.

The other I’ve got owned for years - she will be sold. Breaks my heart but my finances will Tami me. The money earned from selling her will be split.

First I’ll make sure my emergency fund is at $1000. Then pay off the smallest credit card and the vacuum. I’ll hopefully have some left over to put on the next credit card in line to pay off.

First of all somehow I ordered a HUGE planner. I usually prefer the pocket sized ones. I thought I ordered a 5"x7"..... I accidently ordered a 8"x11". Oopppsss. 😂

It arrived today and I'm stoked. It's gorgeous and filled with inspiration and new ways to plan.

It's huge compared to my old one.

First of all the front cover is a clear pocket that can be customized with pictures, schedules, drawings, etc. Inside is a great letter from the planners designer. Next several pages filled with great inspiration! Room to plan setting goals with an accomplishment date! A full page for outlining dreams, visions, and personal improvement. Places to set routines, and staying on course.

The monthly calendars have good space for writing and holidays are marked for quick reference.

Weekly schedule are clearly marked with holidays and provide a big place for appointments, important dates, etc.

One easy way to stretch your grocery dollars is to “one up” them. I will cooks a large meal that I can turn into something different in the following nights with little prep.

Example:

Whole roasted chicken:

First night Chicken with veg and potatoes or rice.I’ll roast my chicken with onions and mushrooms under the chicken. These veggies get great flavor and can be used in the follow nights dinner. Add in carrots or potatoes also!

Second night: Chicken with gravy made from the mushrooms and onions and drippings over stuffing, mashed potatoes, etc. 

Third night: The rest of the chicken made into a soup or potpie with carrots, mushrooms, onions, and noodles, etc. Or a chicken and dumplins with biscuits, 

Beef Roast:

First night: Roasted beef with onions, carrots, potatoes, etc

Second night: Beef stew with the left over carrots, onions and potatoes, etc. 

Third night: Shred the meat for BBQ sandwiches

O. M. G.

I don't enjoy shopping. And I'm super bad at it. I get flustered, I have to compare prices and products. It takes me forever and well..... people.

I decided to try this relatively new App and service from Walmart. Quick rundown... shop from home for groceries, health item, what ever, set a pick up time, pay online, go pick up your goods.... or really, get them delivered to your car! Yesssss!

From the comfort of my home I scoured my fridge and pantry, compiled a list of needs and shopped for those times as I sipped coffee. ☕

The app provided size, price also price per unit all clearly marked. It was a simple tap to put the item in my cart. I was able to review, remove, add or change quantities easily in my cart. I could keep an eye on the carts total and stay in my budget with ease.

A quick tap and I paid for my groceries and even a few over the counter meds. I set a convenient time for pick up and I'm done. Probably the fastest shopping trip ever. And I won't forget things or my list like I usually do. 😂😂

After placing my order I realized a huge advantage to the app, I don't impulse purchase anything, say what?!?! I'm a bad impulsive shopper, I ALWAYS pick up one or two things, it never fails. Win! 💃

I set the pick up time for 4-5pm, which is after my daughter's Dr appointment today. Saved me an extra trip to town AND dragging two tired and hungry kids through a store, telling them "no" and "put that back" the whole way. 🙅

School is almost out!!! Yeah!!!

Summer time is coming quickly. I’m so excited!! This is the first summer in YEARS I will be off several days during the week to have fun with the kids. 

I’ve been looking around for CHEAP, FUN ideas.  I’m still on a super strict budget and trying to pay of my credit card debt ASAP. So my goal is to not derail my goal, but to still have fun!

FREE STUFF:

Local library! We sit on the line between two counties. Both counties are offering great summer programs and fun! Free movies with snacks, cooking demos with how to save money on groceries geared towards kids, fun and game days, demonstrations, LEGO competitions, etc. ALL FOR FREE! Also a local bank (TD Bank) is offering a money education session and their usual $10 towards a saving account for reading 10 books this summer!  Let’s not forget borrowing books, movies, etc from the library!!

Local splash pad! We have a local small, but fun splash pad downtown.  NO CHARGE! Bring a lunch, towels, sunscreen and let the kids play! Parking is free also! The kids love it, they run, play, get soaked and have fun! This is a favorite of ours, especially after we hit up the local cheap movie!

Local parks!  Pack a lunch and have fun!! Hit up a local park or playground with a packed lunch and let the kids go! They can run, play, get dirty and have a blast! Rein them in for lunch or snacks and stay as long as you want. Many places have covered pavilions with tables  or shaded areas for sitting and relaxing while they play or get up and have fun with them!  

Nature trails! Hit up the local nature trail or park! You can find many free places to get out and discover nature! Again, pack a lunch or snacks and have fun! Go for a nice long nature walk, enjoy nature, bring a book on plants or animals and learn as you go. Great exercise and FREE.

CHEAP STUFF:

MOVIES!! Regal cinema offers cheap $1 movies during the summer, usually newer releases or movies from the past few years. Really cheap, so a mom and two kids can see a newer movie for $3. Its important to skip the concession stand though! That can derail the cheapness of the movies fast! Arrive fed and maybe pack a lunch for the park after the movie. We have a great local small theatre that offers newer movies with popcorn and a drink for $2!!! TWO DOLLARS!!!! WHAT??? Best deal ever!!! for $6 the kids think they have reached the movie jackpot with snacks! I like to combine a trip to this theatre with going to the splash pad for lunch and fun in the water. It’s an amazing deal for all day fun for $6!

SKATING!  Our local skate rink has $5 open skates during the summer. Both of my kids can skate for $10 for several hours, its air conditioned, indoors, great exercise and fun. They aren’t great skaters, so we proceed with  caution. Skating is great fun and good exercise! 

SWIMMING!!! The local public pool is just $2 for kids and $3 for adults, so for $7 the kids can play and swim for two hours. They love it, the pools have waterfalls, slides, and sprayers, plus attached pools for swimming/laps. Also our local city just added a splash pad!! We are excited to try this one out this year! This is in a park setting, so we will be sure to pack a lunch or snacks and have fun!

SPRINGS! We live in Florida, so we have access to MANY fresh water springs, the water is a brisk 72 degrees year round. The entrance fees vary by location and park, but range from $5 a car load to $5.50 per person. Depending on which spring you visit, the cost can be from $5 to $16.50 for the kids and I. This is a pack a lunch an stay all day adventure, so really its a great deal for the price. Bring sunscreen, floats, lunch and have fun! 

AT HOME

SUMMER LEARNING! So the kids are going to do a little school work daily. Basically working on basic skills to keep the kids sharp over the summer.

Math to keep up their skills. Math is my kids WORST subject, mine too. Not long daily, just 15-30 minutes. Doing worksheets, doing real world scenarios, counting money, etc. Making it fun but educational. I have workbooks from school and online resources for my kids to use. Not going to over kill it, but they need to work some on it.

Reading! Reading is so important! We are going to be using the library this summer, so we will have a quiet down and read for 20-30 minutes daily time. It great for imagination. Key it to encourage the kid (and myself) to pick subjects they like or interest them. Don’t forget that readding books goes towards TD bank $10 savings account for reading!!

Learning a new language. My son and I started learning or in my case knocking the rust off my spanish. He was really enjoying it. It a great way to have fun, keep your brain sharp and learn an new skill. We are also going to learn ASL (American Sign Language) this summer too. Its free, so many free resources online and videos. The kids will love having a new way to communicate to each other and me. 

Slowly I'm cutting things out of our budget. I've had Sirius XM radio for about 6-7 years. I always try to get the best deal, usually the $25 for 5 months, type of deal. My newest car doesn't have an XM radio so we go a portable XM radio for no charge that connects using an Aux cord to connect.  Recently the reception on the radio has been super spotty, more times than not, I couldn't get service. I have been listening to 'regular' radio the past two weeks. I decided to cancel my subscription. I also had a previous credit with Sirius of $52, so I'm expecting a $58 dollar refund in the mail.

Yet another tie cut, but money saved. It was a luxury, but nothing that I will really miss, honestly. I know it only cost $60ish dollars a year, but that is that much more in our pockets.

Ok y’all.. I decided to look back on my back account and do a 4 month check up and comparison to what I thought I had spent.

I was way off on several things, that allowance I gave myself and what I actually spent were two different things. sigh. Seriously, it has me totally bummed right now. 

We average $681 on groceries, this does include medicines, animal food, etc. I was estimating and thinking that I was closer to $450-500 with $60ish for the animals. I really need to be careful and really watch and shop more carefully. I meal planned for the next week and shopped yesterday, my total was $130. We are about 1/3 into the month, I need to really be careful. I did make a few bigger meals that are going to spill over into dinner for other nights. So two bigger meals will equal four dinners. 

Fuel was a little more than expected, s187. I estimated in the past $160. Not too bad, but I need to watch extra trips to town, etc. I try hard to only go to town when I need to and make it several stop trip. I also try hard to shop after work when I can and save the trip. 

Fast food/Restaurants was as shocker!!! I thought was had been really successful with not eating and limiting when we did. I thought this would be about $20-30 a month. I was WRONG, $103 on average. *faceplam* Even though I’ve stopped going after work, and before work, this is way over what I thought. I really hate to think about how much we spend prior to that. I need to tighten it down more. Wow. 

Miscellaneous expenses are non grocery related, quick convenience store stops, etc. My husband will go to the corner store for snacks or a quick breakfast sometimes. Or having to pick up something extra for the house, Going to Lowes, etc. S180 a month. Wowzers, again. Dang. Obviously we need to rein this in and back some. But this can be hard when you have to purchase items to repair or replace broken stuff, etc. 

Fun, family fun, we did do a quick trip to St. Augustine a few months ago, but haven’t done much more recently. I did add in my purchase of my sons bike in this. It is a fun/entertainment item.  We are averaging $109 a month. I’m not too mad about this, this average $50 per weekend I’m off, (every other weekend) Not too bad.... But I still need to find cheaper things for us to do. 

OK, we are doing it!!!

Cutting the cord! 😱😱😱😱

I ordered the fire sticks for our home in an effort to cancel our Dish Network subscription, we've had dish for YEARS. I like dish and I'm good with the programs/channels but it's expensive. We had America's 200, Starz, local channels, for $127 a month.

$127 a month for TV!!!!!!! I looked around and decided on the Amazon fire stick, which retail for $40. I paired the Fire Stick with sling TV, right now the Orange and Blue package. We are able to stream 4 screens and it has the majority of the channels we watch. I did add in the heartland pack $5 which as the hunting channels my husband limes. And kids pack for the cartoon channels for the kids, $5. If I see the kids aren't watching their channels I may modify it. Cost $50

We already have Netflix and Amazon Prime. I'm not factoring the cost of those in my figures, as we already paid for them.

Amazon video has tons of movies and shows. I'm holding off on adding Starz for the westerns that my husband likes. I'll feel that out also. There's still tons of add-ons for Amazon and Sling if we really need it. Bit right now I don't forecast it.

End result:

$127-50= $77 savings.

I will add, we live really, have DSL. We were recently upped to 25 mbps, but it still varieties. I did opt into a faster speed, doubled to 50 MVP's, for $10 more. We may not really need this, BUT with the possibility of four screens steaming, and normal internet use, it's probably a smart idea to limit lag and buffering.

OK, y'all I lowered our satellite package about a week ago. I haven't gotten the new bill yet, but I'm not happy. Even with the bill lowered, I feel like we can do better.

A few things have been holding me back.

1. My husband watched local news, I need to find a work around for him.

2. My husband isn't technical at all, so learning a new system could be a struggle for him.

3. Internet fast enough? We have the fastest internet we've had in years, but will it support us all streaming?

So I decided to order the Amazon Firestick for our TVs. The firestick is easy to customize, I already have Amazon Prime and access to the streaming available with that subscription.

I'm looking at subscribing to Sling with a few add-ons to get more of the channels we watch.

Ideally I want to get a slightly faster internet speed and cancel my satellite. I hope to get my phone and internet bill at about $80. Then add in possibly Sling TV for $50 with the add one. That would be approx $130, about $90 under my previous bills.