justin herbert groupie

There was no baby bump yet, so you had that going for you. But hiding the fact that you were pregnant was going to be hard considering the fact that the season was about to be in full swing. You missed a Chargers’ significant others luncheon a few weeks before because you’d thrown up so many times that morning that Justin was ready to grab his keys and drive you to the hospital. No one knew about the baby other than your parents, his parents and your doctor. And the two of you intended to keep it that way for the foreseeable future.

“I can’t keep hiding forever and I have to make an appearance before I start showing and we have to come up with crazy excuses.” You tell him, getting ready for the team barbecue that was being thrown at the Allen home right before camp.

“I know, I just—how are we going to do this?” He was usually the calm one but ever since he found out the two of you had a baby on the way, he was a lot more on edge about…everything. Protecting your privacy was the one thing he was the most worried about, making sure the most important people in his life were taken care of.

“We are gonna have to make some things shake today but I think we can do it.”

The first person you saw when you walked in was Trey Pipkins and his wife so you hugged them both, making small talk while figuring out how to navigate the afternoon.

Step one: Sneak anti-nausea gummies

Somewhere between the mini sliders and the shrimp cocktail, Justin noticed your face change. He knew that look, he’d seen it way too many times in the last few weeks to count. So he came prepared.

Ciandra had just handed you a plate and after thanking her you just stared at it with your mouth watering…and not in a good way. You swallowed down the queasy feeling, trying to take steady breaths, when you felt a comforting hand on your back.

“I figured you could have some water before you and Ci get into the mixed drinks. And I brought you some extra napkins.” You nodded, putting the plate on the counter and taking a sip of your water. Justin and Ciandra talked for a bit but you weren’t really listening, silently telling yourself to give your husband a fat kiss on the forehead later because you felt two anti-nausea gummies hidden between the folds of your napkin.

You and Ciandra had been friends for a few years. Her husband was your husband’s favorite target and it was just so easy to get along with her and have a good time. And throughout that time you’d built somewhat of a bond in your mutual love for having a great time no matter the occasion. And that usually involved a themed cocktail or two. With that in mind, she was a bit surprised that you hadn’t asked her to grab you a drink. And that Justin had barely left you alone since the party began. It wasn’t unusual for the two of you to be together by any means, it was just a bit odd that he was practically glued to your side.

“Kae, do you think something is off with y/n?” Ci asks, a few minutes after leaving the two of you.

Mikaela laughs a little, handing her son a juicebox. “Not that I’ve noticed, why? Is your twisted tea sister not drinking with you today?”

“She said she’s Justin’s DD but like, she could have a little sip.”

She gasps after a while, putting some pieces together and looking toward her friend from across the room. “You don’t think she’s…you know what I’m gonna go find Keenan and see what he knows.”

Step two: Act normal when babies and children are brought up

Ever since the two of you found out you were going to be parents, the list was created. Milestones in the pregnancy were to be tracked on the app like what kind of fruit was being compared to the size of the baby or how much sleep you should be getting every night. There was also a hospital bag checklist for both parents and the newborn. When to sleep train, what kinds of prenatal classes to sign up for, which preschools and daycares were the best in LA because those fill up fast. Justin usually ignored the conversations that the guys had in the locker room regarding kids but now anytime a child was mentioned, he had to hide the smile on his face at the thought of him actually being in those conversations, taking mental notes along the way and soaking up as much information as he could.

Keenan noticed though. When the guys started gathering around in the backyard and talking about all the excitement of the season and training camp to feeling guilty about having to leave their families, especially their kids. He saw a hint of guilt on the face of his teammate and friend, wondering if there was something he missed.

Justin had mentally excused himself from the group, thinking about how impossible it would be to leave for training camp this year. This, football and his team meant everything to him and once upon a time there was nothing more important than getting that bonding time during camp to set the tone for team chemistry throughout the season. But now? The thought of him leaving you alone for 12 days sounded like the worst thing in the world. And he knew you weren’t made of glass but what if you needed him and he wasn’t there? Or you had a craving in the middle of the night and he wasn’t there to grab what you needed?

Even if it was none of those things, he just didn’t want to miss a single moment, not if it wasn’t absolutely necessary. And while he was going through all of those scenarios in his head, Keenan started to put the pieces together little by little and he needed someone to help him confirm his theory.

Step three: Execute the perfect drink handoff

Ci and Keenan found each other and went upstairs to have an emergency meeting.

“I think y/n’s pregnant.” They said at the same time.

“What do you know? Start from the beginning because I don’t have much, it’s just a strong mom hunch.” Ciandra asks her husband, waiting for him to spill.

He rubs his beard, trying to think back to when this all started. “Herb’s been acting real weird lately. He was on the phone the other day and I heard the word ‘doctor’ but I didn’t want to be in his business so I just asked him if everything was okay and he said everything was fine. But he just answered me so fast I knew something was up. And then after practice, most of the time if anyone asks him if they can get extra work in he says yes but he’s been running home pretty much as soon as we’re done. And today is when it clicked.”

“What did you see?”

“We were just talking about kids and camp and our routines and he just got…sad. Like really sad. And quiet. Like he didn’t wanna go to camp or something. And you know that man bleeds football. And I know that look because I’ve felt that before. Having your first kid and leaving your pregnant wife at home for days? That shit feels awful, makes you feel like a terrible husband.”

Ciandra laughs and gives him a hug. “You never told me that.”

“If I’m crying about leaving you and you’re crying about me leaving you. Then we’ll both be crying and who is that gonna help? We made it through though. Now you tell me 007, what do you know?”

The two of them continued to debrief and had been gone for a while, leading Justin to freak out. “They know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean Ci and Keenan. They’re onto us.”

You looked toward the stairs and looked around the room, realizing they were nowhere in sight. “Okay, I have a plan. But I need you to do me a HUGE favor.”

He would’ve probably walked a mile barefoot on concrete in July if you asked, so he just gave you a pointed look. You headed to the bar and spoke to the bartender for a bit, just in time for Keenan and Ciandra to rejoin the party.

Grabbing two drinks, you walked over to her and handed her a glass, much to her surprise. “Didn’t you say you weren’t drinking today?”

“A few won’t hurt,” you promised, clinking your glasses together and taking a sip. Her eyes bulged out of her head a bit, but it seemed like her confusion was gone after that. Little did she know, you had just downed a mocktail while she had Jose Cuervo increasing her internal temperature. You almost patted yourself on the back, thinking you were home free.

And you were free, until Makaela walked up to you, holding another glass. “You did say a few. Cheers to a few moments of peace before our lives are consumed by football.”

You gulped, feeling a few beads of sweat forming along your hairline. You raise your glass anyway, pretending to take a drink, waiting for something to catch the ladies’ attention so you could slip the cup into your husband’s hands as he walks by, allowing him to take a huge gulp of your cup before disappearing again. It never really occurred to you how much moms had to juggle while attending a party. Justin had probably finished about three of your margaritas without Kae or Ciandra noticing because one of them had to host the party and lost her own drink a handful of times and Kae was running after a toddler. The thought of that being your life in a few months really made you want that tequila shot.

At least your husband was enjoying himself…until you noticed that he really wasn’t. You found him sitting on a couch in the living room alone, looking like he was seconds away from dozing off. Running your hand along his cheek, you sat next to him and allowed him to rest his head in your lap. “You okay babe?”

“We have to go home soon, my stomach is starting to hurt from these cocktails and the two beers I had. How did you do this before?” His voice has the slightest hint of pain in it and you have to swallow your laughter.

“You’re usually the designated driver and I was having a wonderful time,” you shrug and he stares at you through his lengthy eyelashes that you hope your baby inherits. There’s a green tint to his features, making you regret this master plan. “Are you sure you’re okay cause you look like you’re gonna throw up. And if you puke, I’ll puke and it’ll just be—”

“Baby, please stop saying puke,” he begs, getting ready to stand up with a hand on his stomach.

“Sorry.”

No less than ten minutes later, you had made your rounds and said all of your goodbyes.

“So…she’s definitely pregnant right?” Keenan asks his wife after all of the guests are gone.

Ciandra laughs again, smacking him lightly on the arm, “you are so nosey! But yes, absolutely. I’m 99% sure I’ll be snuggling a little Herbo baby in the next nine months. We’ll just wait until they’re ready to tell us and I’ll support her every step of the way. With anything she needs.”

“And you know I’m gonna have my boy ready. He’s got SuperDad on his side, he’ll be alright.”

“Babe,” Ciandra begins, shaking her head, “nobody calls you SuperDad. Literally not a soul.”

“Well y’all should! Cause I am, you better ask your kids about me.” All he got back in response was an eye roll.

It was a miracle that you got Justin into the house and into bed without much struggle because all the liquor was definitely hitting him by the time you pulled into the driveway.

For the first time in weeks, you went to sleep with the scent of him bringing you peace instead of the usual nausea, which was a great sign. “I get why the guys fight for you like they do, you’re a great teammate,” you whisper, guessing that he’d already fallen asleep after today’s events.

“I do have a lot of teammates but you are by far my favorite. Can’t wait to add a little mini us to the equation. And hopefully I never ever have to drink that many margaritas again as long as I live.”

“You were an absolute warrior today. Have I ever told you that I love you so much and you’re the best husband I’ve ever had?”

liked by chargers, jbbigbear, taylorbisciotti and 235 948 others

justinherbert: A great way to start the season! #boltup

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fan: common herbo W

chargers: ⚡⚡⚡

fan: MVP MVP MVP

fan: hottie

keenan13allen: 🔥

fan: bills better

fan: check your dms❤️‍🔥

────────────

The next on field practice after their Sunday night game, the sun was beaming down like no other. Usually, that would mean the guys were a little more tired than usual, the heat tiring them out, but high off a win they were in good spirits. So much so that the Chargers’ social media team knew they had to take advantage of it.

They’d set things up right outside the door leading to the field, so that all players had to pass them, whether they wanted to or not. And there they placed the microphone and camera, a sign right under that read “Favorite song from Y/N Y/L/N’s new album 'California'?”. 

It appealed to a specific demographic, that was for sure, but the team needed to try something new, having used up nearly everything the last few seasons. Not that asking about an album was very clever or original, but since the album had gotten so much traction the last few months, they had to do it.

Plus with last season's Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce craze, the new teenage and female demographic had significantly increased. The least they could do was give the people what they wanted.

“A song of Y/N’s…” a rookie read off as he passed the sign, rolling back and forth anxiously on the balls of his feet, itching to get back to the field. “Gotta be Hits Different, right?”

“Nah, man, I’m going with Style,” Keenan jumped in beside the rookie receiver, clapping him on the shoulder – nearly making the younger guy jump out of his skin. The veteran then began singing parts of the chorus in a way too high pitch, not really trying that hard – if anything, to amuse his teammates – as he walked off to the green grass.

Of course, there were some that just looked at the paper, tilted their heads, and said, “Who?” but most of them were of no use to the media team.

“Umm,” Cameron Dicker audibly thought, running a hand over his nonexistent beard to show how ‘seriously’ he was taking the question. “I’m going with “Slut!”. It’s an iconic title, obviously. I haven’t even listened to it, I just love the name, to be honest. Gonna listen when I get home today, though. Now I have to. Fangirls will eat me alive if I don't.”

Quite a few more players passed, some answering, others ignoring the sign completely – most of the ones who did were wearing headphones and staring down at their phones as they walked – until Justin came along. The social media team had all but given up on the willful participation of their quarterback, so it was a surprise to quite literally everyone that he even approached the sign.

He hadn’t exactly meant to, but Y/N’s name had caught his eye and he got a little curious – especially thinking what his teammates might’ve said about her. The vast majority of them didn’t know the two were together yet, but soon enough he’d have to come clean.

Having walked close enough to read the sign, Justin decided that – for once – he was actually going to say something. 

“False God.” 

He said nothing more, nothing less, and just walked away. He was sure it would make its rounds online, but who cared. If he hadn’t have answered, they would’ve instead posted the clip of him gawking at the sign for a solid five seconds. This was better, he decided. 

Justin reminded himself to text Y/N after practice, just a forewarning for what she was about to see. She followed most of their team’s socials – follow, being used loosely, as she watched when it came on her feed (which was frequently), but didn’t explicitly follow them, for privacy reasons – so she was bound to see at least five versions of that clip before sundown. 

And just as he’d thought, the second Justin stepped back into the locker room and checked his phone, he saw a text from Y/N.

y/n <3 I saw that interview you did So, False God is your favorite, huh?  Could never guess why ;)

Justin couldn’t help the small grin that grew on his slightly bearded face, somewhat hindered by his teeth biting down on his bottom lip. A few of his teammates didn’t seem to miss it either, since it was so obvious. 

“That your new lady, Herbie?” Mike asked, bumping his shoulder with Justin’s, all the while trying to peek over his shoulder at the – now dark – screen. 

Justin hesitated for a second, before throwing all caution and common sense to the wind. “Yeah.”

Mike was caught off guard, that much was clear, but he snapped back quickly with a clap to Justin’s shoulder, mumbling something close to “My man,” as he walked away, a shit eating grin on his face.

They didn’t need to know who, at all, but it did help that people started knowing he was off the market – hopefully for good.

justin baby It was hardly an interview I just answered a question And you already know I love that one, pretty

y/n <3 You only like it cause it boosts your ego

justin baby So what? I'm happy, you're *clearly* happy, I don't see the issue ;)

y/n <3 Fuck off

Justin chuckled as he read the message, immediately liking it as he lowered his head to hide the growing blush on his freckled cheeks.

y/n <3 ... see you at home honey

────────────

september 2024

liked by gracieabrams, chargers, justinherbert and 148 902 others

y/n_y/l/n: this weekend!! went to a chargers game, pet a cat, got caught in the rain and got sand in my socks

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fan: whys the picture of the field so shitty?

y/n_y/l/n: i was up in the stands, had to zoom fan: your rich why are you in the nosebleeds💀 fan: you're*

chargers: we'd love to have you back!! (good luck charm maybe?)

y/n_y/l/n: do i get to meet any of the players?? fan: lmao y/n has her priorities straight😭😭

fan: since when does she have a cat?

fan: pretty pretty pretty

fan: omg omg omg the secret boyfriend!!!

fan: the lore is expanding

fan: omg maybe she went to the game with him!! whos a chargers fan??

fan: terry crews?

fan: anaheim ducks game next???

y/n_y/l/n: sorry not the ducks i root for

────────────

“BABE,” Y/N all but yelled as she launched herself at her boyfriend the second he walked in through the door. Nova jumped up on a nearby shelf, startled by the commotion, watching the couple from afar instead. 

“Hi sweetheart,” he mumbled against her lips, picking her up by her waist for a second, only enough for her to feel weightless for a moment. “Did you have fun?”

“Of course! That was amazing! You’re amazing!” she gushed, finally down on her own two feet. She wrapped her arms around his middle, placing her chin on his chest so she could adoringly stare up at her boyfriend as she said; “I can’t believe I waited this long to go to one of your games.”

“I wasn’t even playing when we met,” he chuckled, his hands linked together, resting on her lower back but inching further down every few seconds. “This is literally the first game I’ve played since we got together.”

“Still, if I would’ve known someone as hot as you was the quarterback of the Chargers, I would’ve made a move on you much earlier,” she looked up at him through her lashes. 

Justin made some sound that could most accurately be described as something between a grunt of disbelief and a laugh as he lowered his face to hers again. She gladly accepted his kiss, before she pulled completely away from him, walking inside the house toward the kitchen. 

“I know you’re probably hungry so I cooked for us.” She looked almost childish as she stared wide eyed at Justin, awaiting his reaction. “D’you like it?”

She’d set the table like they always did, very simply, but she lit a few candles around this time, and Justin noticed a new bouquet beside their plates. 

“You really didn’t have to…” he mumbled as he looked over everything she’d done in awe, his favorite pasta dish ready on the table. 

“Of course I did. And don’t worry about that pre-made meal going to waste, I called ahead and told him he didn’t have to prep for today.” In all honesty, Y/N had called his private chef last week already and organized everything. The last thing she wanted was to inconvenience anyone or waste anybody’s time.

“You really are perfect,” he couldn’t help but smile widely as he looked down at her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. 

Ever the gentleman, Justin pulled out her chair as if they were in some fancy restaurant and not their home, before sitting down. Despite being sore and tired, he still prioritized her well being. 

Dinner went off without a hitch. They went through the bottle of white wine Y/N had picked out, even if Justin usually wasn’t much of a drinker. Not that either of them were even near drunk – especially given how much alcohol it took for Justin to get tipsy, with how large his physical stature is. But they were freely laughing and swapping kisses through the night. 

And when it was finally time to put everything away, Justin insisted on being the one to do it. Y/N only managed to rinse their plates before Justin all but carried her over to the couch to wait for him alongside Nova. She’d already done way more than he’d deserved, in his opinion, and he didn’t want her to exert herself unnecessarily when he was perfectly capable of clearing the table himself. 

Not that Y/N minded, either. She got to sip on the last of her wine with her feet curled under her, mindlessly scratching Nova as she watched Justin walk around their kitchen from her seat on the couch. He was so focused he didn’t even notice her watching. He was also going as quickly as he could, so he could get back to her. 

But when he finally noticed her, his chin dipped to his chest as his entire body shook with laughter. “Enjoying the show?”

“Yeah, I am,” she grinned. “Can you do a spin?”

Despite initially rolling his eyes, he complied, turning around slowly just for her to get to check him out. “Happy?”

“Very,” she scrunched her nose, as she flashed her pearly whites at him. 

Justin was lucky he was practically done with everything, only putting the tupperware container with their leftovers into the fridge before he could walk over to her, immediately planting a kiss on her forehead before he collapsed beside her.

“You played so well. I had a great time.”

It made Justin’s day, those few words. He knew he would’ve given it his all even if she wasn’t there – it wasn’t in him to not give 100% of himself each and every time – but it somehow made everything even more worth it.

He thanked her with a kiss, and Nova quickly scurried off, now that she was no longer the center of attention, finding her place back in Justin’s office where she so often slept. 

And with no distractions, Justin pulled away to put Y/N’s wineglass down on the coffee table. He gripped her hips with his big hands and all but lifted her on top of his lap, nearly making her squeal as she was quite literally in mid-air at some point. 

“Justin,” she laughed, almost chastising him, before he cut her off with yet another bruising kiss, his grip on her only tightening. In response, her hands flew around his neck, one hand playing with the ends of his hair.

His lips seemed to mold to hers so perfectly, in a way she’d never experienced before, and she couldn’t remember to breathe even the times they did separate for air. His hands seemed to burn so sweetly, even if her skin was covered by whatever pants she was wearing. Being near Justin seemed to give her this brain fog that made her completely clueless to even the simplest things, like what she was wearing. 

And when one of his hands traveled up her side, squeezing, pinching and groping whatever he could reach to get any audible reaction out of her he could; she could’ve died happy. 

“You okay?” Justin asked as he pulled back, only to see a nearly dissociated look on her face, although accompanied by a small smile. 

“I’m great,” she said simply. “I love you.”

It was so easy, between them. Just the two of them, Justin reminded himself, that was all that mattered. “I love you too. So so much, it’s a little concerning,” he replied, kissing along her jaw, then down her neck, only to settle on her collarbone.

Y/N couldn’t bear to rip him away, only letting him continue kissing, sucking, and whatever else he wanted to, even after the bruise was already formed. Justin kissed the purple-ish mark tenderly as he moved back up her chest until he reached her lips – slightly parted and so so kissable to him. 

His kisses were so breathtaking Y/N nearly had the wind knocked out of her when Justin stood up, easily holding her up as he did so. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, so she wouldn’t fall as he carried her upstairs. He even took two steps at a time, like she didn’t weigh anything at all, even taking the time to kiss her and bite at her skin as he walked.

It was 10 pm, and he had been poked and prodded for hours on end. He was tired, annoyed and in pain. He just wanted to wallow in some self pity before everyone wanted answers he didn't have yet again tomorrow. 

It felt a little embarrassing, too. One finger and he was out of commission, likely for the rest of the season. They, of course, hadn’t given him any definitive answers yet, but he had seen the look on Y/N’s face as she stood beside the doctor; the both of them assessing the damage together. 

She hadn’t been able to look him in the eye the entire time, trying to focus as much as she could on his hand. Y/N knew what was wrong, and she knew how definitive it was. This was the first time Justin cursed himself for feeling like he could read her so well; he might’ve wanted to keep the illusion of hope for a little longer. 

The world kept slowly spinning around him as he laid there. And as much as he wanted to have faith in the rest of his team, they hadn’t exactly been playing well, or having much luck with all of the injuries popping up out of nowhere. The Chargers were likely done for the season – he knew that deep down, but as a leader, he couldn’t display that inwardly nor outwardly. 

As if by automation, he picked his phone up from the comforter beside his head, blindly clicking on a contact. The phone rang only twice before it was picked up. 

“Can you come over?”

“Justin, you know I can’t.”

He could hear the desperation in Y/N’s voice, and the seeping guilt. 

“Please. Don’t make me beg,” he mumbled down the line.

“Okay, okay, what’s your room number?” she easily relented.

 He heard dull noises in the background as she moved around. “3602,” he mumbles to her. “I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right there.”

“Bye.”

He hung up before she could answer, letting the phone fall out of his hand – the left one, which felt incredibly unnatural. Everything fucking sucked. He didn’t even have Nova by his side to give him pity cuddles, leaving him cold and alone. 

Justin wasn’t sure how much time had passed when there were three rapid, but not loud, knocks on his door. He somehow managed to pull himself off of his bed and trudged his way to the door, not even bothering to look through the peephole before opening it.

The second he made eye contact with Y/N it was as if all of his walls crumbled at once. Tears pooled in his eyes before she’d even fully crossed the threshold, and the moment the door’s lock clicked shut, he was all but hanging over her, his head in the junction of her neck, arms around her waist. 

“Oh, don’t cry, please don’t cry,” she mumbled, one hand immediately flying to his head to comb through his long hair while the other drew calming strokes across his shaking back. 

Justin felt so weak at that moment, but he really didn’t have the energy to give a damn about any of it.

“Shh, it’s okay, honey,” she soothed, letting him put more of his body weight on her than she’d under normal circumstances be able to sustain, but somehow she pulled through without breaking a sweat.

“It’s really not. My season’s over, isn’t it?” he meekly asked, his arms tightly wrapped around her ribcage as he clung to her like a final lifeline. 

It wasn’t professional to answer, especially without all of the facts, but she couldn’t lie to him. She didn’t have it in her normally, but now with him so small, for once, she couldn’t even entertain the idea in her mind.

“Most likely. I’m so sorry, Justin,” she sighed, pressing her eyes shut as much as she could as she felt her own onslaught of tears approaching. “I'm sorry.”

He would’ve fought, or maybe yelled at her, asking for a second opinion, but he knew it would’ve been futile. He knew it was over. He knew it the second that ball slipped from his grasp on the sideline.

Finally, after a few more moments of his sniffles and cries, he gingerly pulled off of her, revealing his tear-stained face. Y/N didn’t say a word as she pushed his hair behind his ears and then wiped his tears away with the pads of her thumbs. 

He looked so childlike; so innocent, in that moment, she could physically feel parts of her heart withering away with every tear pooling in his green eyes. 

Somehow, Justin couldn’t exactly remember how as he was too wrapped up in his emotions, they made their way to the bed, lying on top of the previously pristine covers. Y/N laid on her back, his head on her chest as he cried silently. His entire body engulfed her, his torso on hers, his thigh between hers. 

“Justin,” she called softly as she grazed her fingernails across his scalp, twirling her fingers through his hair which needed a thorough washing, but that was certainly not a priority. “Have you eaten anything?”

“I’m not hungry,” he mumbled into her sweater, tightening his hold on her as if he was scared she’d slip away if he let up even a little. 

“You need to eat, please,” she begged, smoothing down the hair on the back of his head. 

Justin nodded, letting her order room service for the both of them. She had to stretch across the bed as best as she could for the phone, conveniently situated on the nightstand, since Justin seemed unwilling to move even an inch. She didn’t have the heart either to ask him to move, it felt unnecessary. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked after she'd hung up. He thought the question was completely out of the blue, but Y/N had been thinking about those words since the second he'd called her. “If you don’t want to, I get it.”

He sighed, sniffling a bit as he felt that his tears had completely dried to his cheeks, only leaving salty trails over his cheekbones. “Can we just talk about something else instead?” 

Justin’s words were followed by the tilt of his head, the two finally making eye-contact after such an emotionally heavy moment. Y/N only nodded, letting his chin – which was ever so slightly pressing down into her sternum uncomfortably – rest on her as her hand once again traveled up to the crows nest atop his head. 

“Where’s Wyatt?” he found himself asking.

“He’s with my parents back in California. They usually watch him for away games,” she replied, a sparkle in her eye as she spoke of her son. “They don’t get much time with him since they’re still working full-time, and they live almost two hours away, but I really don’t have much choice.”

“I won’t be able to throw with him,” Justin mumbled, a new wave of sadness hitting him at the realization. 

The last few times Justin and Wyatt had seen each other, the football player had been trying to teach the toddler to “throw”. His third birthday was quickly approaching, landing in mid-December, and he wanted to be ‘a big boy and play football’. It had simultaneously melted and broken Y/N’s heart when she heard it.

These were the things kids were supposed to do with their dads – traditionally, at least. And sometimes, Y/N thought she was somehow robbing her son of that paternal love, even though he was the one who left. 

Justin was helping fill that hole left in her heart and conscience, whether she would admit it or not. 

“I’m sure you’ll figure something else out,” she soothed. “You’ll teach him to kick instead, you’re good at that, I’ve heard.”

“Well, I’m not bad at it. Definitely not good enough to do it professionally, though,” Justin shrugged. 

“And if Wyatt’s gonna be playing football in the future, I hope he'll be a kicker. They get hurt the least, right?” Her motherly instincts kicked in hard when she was away from Wyatt, and it didn’t seem like this time was any different to the rest. 

“Yeah, but we’ll tackle that when we get there,” Justin whispered, burrowing his head further into her chest, finding her heartbeat soothing. 

“We?”

Justin’s eyes immediately shot wide open, and he went stiff as a board. “What did I say?”

“You said ‘we’, like we’d both be there when Wyatt grows up,” Y/N mumbled, her face expressionless, at least according to Justin, even if she felt like everything she'd ever felt in her entire life was flashing through her mind and being displayed on her face. 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to– I mean we’re not even together. God, we haven’t even kissed, that’s way too fast, I’m sorry,” he rambled, pushing himself a bit off of her, still staying above her, with his uninjured hand. 

“No, no, it’s okay, I just wanted to make sure I heard you right,” Y/N laughed nervously, an anxious smile on her face and a crease between her brows. 

“W–well, I mean, with how everything’s going now? I really love Wyatt, I don’t know that I could just walk away,” Justin admitted aloud for the first time, even if he’d thought it many times before. Mostly as he lay wide awake at night, or driving home from the facility, thinking of coming home to someone, instead of an empty home. 

“Wow, sorry, I’ve just never been in this situation before,” Y/N mumbled, heat rising to the apples of her cheeks at a rapid pace, spreading across her chest and up to her ears. “I don’t know if I’d want you to.”

Justin used the next few seconds just to scan Y/N’s face; everything from the moles on her cheeks to her uneven brows, over the slope of her nose and down to her cupid’s bow. “Can I kiss you?” he mumbled, green eyes locked on hers. 

Y/N’s eyes went wide and just as the corners of her mouth quirked upwards, she softly pushed on Justin’s chest, making him sit up. She got up along him, crossing her legs as she sat in front of him, reaching for his uninjured hand. 

“I don’t know that that’s a good idea,” she said regretfully.

“Why not? Oh, god, I’m really sorry if I’ve been reading things wrong, I didn’t mean–”

“No, Justin, I’d love to kiss you, it’s not that,” Y/N assured quickly, giving his hand a squeeze as heat rose to her face rapidly. She could only hope he wouldn’t notice how much she was suddenly sweating, and how it felt like her every extremity was unintentionally twitching. “I just don’t think you’re in the right headspace. I don’t want you to regret it.”

Her words nearly broke his heart, but gave him hope at the same time. “I wouldn’t regret it. I’ve been wanting to kiss you since your first day at the Chargers. Drew was showing you around the facility and I remember just seeing you standing there in a white t-shirt and jeans looking completely lost and nervous, and I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen in my life.”

“Justin… I started working here more than a year ago,” she all but gaped as she stared at his rosy cheeks and his bright eyes. “I–I had no idea.”

“Well, I was too scared to even talk to you, and then when I saw you with Wyatt in the store… I just couldn’t pass up on the opportunity. I would’ve kicked myself if I didn’t at least try,” he admitted. 

“… so you’re sure you wouldn’t regret it if you kissed me?”

“Please, can I?” his eyes flickered back down to her lips as he whispered the plea. 

She’d barely even gotten the word ‘yes’ past her lips before Justin’s lips were on her, pressing and caressing so sweetly she thought she was going to pass out. It was everything a first kiss should be; simple, loving and perfect. 

There was no urgency, only her soft hands on his torso, his heartbeat rapid underneath her fingertips. His injured hand rested over his crossed legs as the healthy one gripped onto her jaw to angle her face towards him; all in an effort to kiss her just a bit longer before their lungs ran out of air.

And when they eventually did, their foreheads rested against one another as they caught their breaths. Justin’s hand kept caressing Y/N’s cheek, a broad smile on his face as he just stared at her. Her eyes remained closed, just trying to commit the feeling of Justin to her memory, knowing that so few got to experience how amazing he was. 

“Wow,” he beamed, leaning in to kiss her cheek, then the bridge of her nose, then the corner of her mouth, before pecking her slightly swollen lips once more. “Just wow.”

“Thanks,” she bashfully giggled, almost squirming away as he kissed all over her face. 

“I can’t believe I get to kiss you.” He smiled so sweetly, Y/N thought she might pass out if his hands and his lips didn’t touch her, again and again and again. 

She didn’t even know what to say, only letting girly giggles leave her lips as she smiled, admiring Justin. “Will you be my boyfriend?” she suddenly blurted, immediately getting flushed with embarrassment. “Oh god, I sound like a teenager,” she laughed. 

Justin smiled even wider, if that was even possible, “You stole my line,” he grinned, letting his hand trail down her side until it reached her hip, pinching it lightly to get another laugh out of her. “Of course I will.”

He just kept staring at her, and she felt like she was put under the strongest of magnifying glasses, but somehow she still felt completely comfortable. Like any and every part of her that she was willing to show him would only be adored and appreciated. 

“I can’t believe I get to call you mine,” he kissed her again between the words, letting his lips linger a little longer each time until they just stayed interlocked.

Up until Justin winced, automatically pulling away a little. 

“What’s wrong?” Y/N’s brows immediately furrowed, her eyes shooting down to the hand he was now carefully clutching with the other. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, I just forgot about it and tried to put some weight on it. I was just being dumb, I’m sorry,” he apologized as he continued to stare at his hand, his tone all of a sudden turning somber again, even if it wasn’t as downturned as last time. 

“Don’t apologize. Can I see it?” she asked, reaching for his hand with hers.

Justin gingerly placed it in her hands, watching her face as her eyes raked over the layers of tape, gauze and various other support the doctors had placed on him until they could fly him back home to LA to get treated. 

“Did they give you any ice-packs?” she asked him, receiving a nod in turn. 

Justin didn’t really know what to feel as he watched her walk around the room, grabbing a towel from the bathroom and the cooling pack, seeming completely normal in his room around his stuff. He wanted to cry from the pain of losing a season – literally. They might not have been out of the running, but he’d lost the season. It had disappeared from his grasp completely. 

But he also wanted to just forget about all of it and focus all of his energy on what was right in front of him. Something that needed to be cherished and preserved so it wouldn’t ever end.

Before he even knew it, she was kneeling in front of him, the pack wrapped inside the towel as she held it to his hand, carefully. “Is this okay?”

“More than, thank you,” he smiled in thanks. His brows were furrowed and a slight pout played on his lips, but Y/N only assumed it was thanks to the pain radiating through his body, not the mental turmoil. 

Just as he was about to speak, a knock echoed through the door, and Y/N was up before Justin could protest. “I’ve got it, just wait here,” she gave him a sweet peck before she got off the bed, walking to the door. 

When he saw her again, only a few seconds later, she was carrying a tray for the two of them, setting it down on his bed. 

“Eat, you need it,” she pushed his plate toward him, getting water for the both of them out of the mini-fridge. 

Y/N couldn’t remember how long they just sat awake talking after that, which explained how she didn’t remember why she woke up beside him, either. 

────────────

The second they stepped off the plane, Y/N was off to her parents’ house. For once, she had traveled with the team thanks to Justin’s hand – which management had wanted eyes on by a professional at all times, just to be safe. The quarterback barely had time to say goodbye to her before he was being taken to a private hospital.

But now, a day later, Justin was already going stir-crazy in his house. Usually, he’d be fine alone – almost preferring it – but with his index finger, and in extension his whole hand, out of use, there was nearly nothing he could do. 

All he had done in the six hours he’d been home from the hospital, with the diagnosis of a fractured index finger needing surgery, was sit on his couch, watch TV, and eat. That’s it. 

And again, usually that would be something he’d enjoy, but there was literally nothing he could do to pass the time except wait. He couldn’t play some mindless game on his phone, he couldn’t really text anyone, and all of his friends were either working or busy. He was just bored out of his goddamn mind. 

It didn’t help either that he knew his parents had booked a flight the second Justin had called them after the game. They’d all been on the edge of their seats watching him injure himself, but they’d still held onto some hope that maybe it wasn’t that serious. But it was. 

Luckily, he didn’t get to wallow in his anxieties for too long before his phone buzzed beside him, his left hand jetting out to pick it up in record speed. 

Y/N <3 I’m sorry I haven’t been over yet, I feel terrible. I just can’t find a sitter for Wyatt, my parents are both working Do you need anything? I could swing by and bring something?

Her offer had his heart swelling twice the size, a deep red covering his sunkissed cheekbones. It took longer than usual to type his message out, balancing his phone on the cast of his injured hand while his left hand typed everything out. It wasn’t ideal, especially not with as big fingers as Justin had and only his non-dominant hand to use. Everything seemed to go wrong – he could only thank autocorrect. 

Justin :)) Can you please come over? I’m going insane here with nothing to do. And I wanna see you, too. I miss you And could you bring Wy with you? I haven't seen him in so long, I miss my partner in crime And maybe make sure he leaves his most valuable toys at home, I can’t promise Nova will be on her best behavior

Her reply was quick, like she’d been sitting staring at the phone as he typed his message out at a geriatric pace, and then immediately jumped on hers to answer. 

Y/N <3 YES Of course We’ll be right over

Everything seemed jumbled, but Justin could practically feel her excitement through the phone, it made him smile.

Y/N <3 Sorry, I’m just excited to see you I can be there in thirty minutes?  Do you want me to grab takeout?

Justin :))  Sounds great:) And get whatever food you want, as long as you get some ice cream for me, I just wanna drown myself in it right now

Y/N <3 Will do What flavor? Wait, no, let me guess… Vanilla, or maybe pistachio?

Justin :))  Mint chocolate, actually

Y/N <3 Damn it, I should’ve guessed that Anyway, I’ll see you soon Bye honey

The pet name had his heart beating out of his chest. He could even see its tempo through his hoodie. But he just kept smiling, especially at the thought of seeing his favorite toddler again.

Forty minutes later there was a knock on his door, and he all but jumped up to open the door, Nova following close behind in curious fashion. 

“Justin!” Wyatt squealed as he ran right into Justin’s legs with no regard for personal space nor safety. “Uppies!”

Justin’s smile quickly turned bittersweet, but he did his best to hide it. “I’m sorry, buddy, but I can’t. I have an owie on my hand.”

“Oh. Mama can help, she's a doctor.”

“No, honey, I’m not a doctor. But I think we can help, can’t we?” she kneeled down to her son’s level, untying his shoes as Wyatt tried to retain his balance with his hand in a death grip of her hair, completely oblivious to how that might hurt someone. 

With his shoes off, Wyatt all of a sudden dashed past Justin. “Cat!” he yelled, seeing Nova.

“Honey, be nice!” 

Not like Y/N would’ve needed to remind the boy, as he gently sat down with a thud on the wooden floor of Justin’s living room, letting the cat come to him. And as Nova was a Bengal, she wasn’t exactly a small cat. Knowing Justin, it was understandable that he’d gotten the most dog-like cat available. 

Nova stood nearly as tall as Wyatt sitting down, and her tail grazed his cheek as she pranced around him happily, eliciting a bubbly giggle from the toddler. “Cat!”

“Yeah, that’s Nova. Do you remember her?” Justin asked, getting an excited nod in return. “I think she likes you.”

“No-Va,” Wyatt tried saying the cat’s name, somewhat succeeding. “No-Va!”

“Yeah, good job, buddy!”

Wyatt let all of his focus center on the cat after that, all but leaving Justin in the dust. Not that he cared that much, as he got to watch the two interact with a smile on his face. 

“Wow, not even a ‘hello’, huh?” 

Justin turned around to Y/N, seeing her with her arms crossed and a teasing smile on her face. And as he approached her, that smirk quickly turned into a full-on grin until he pressed his lips to hers once, then twice, in greeting. 

“Hey, Y/N.”

“How are you feeling?” she asked, her gaze immediately shifting to his heavily bandaged hand. 

“Like shit, but I’ll live,” he shrugged sadly. As if on command, Wyatt giggled, and Justin had to consciously push down the want to smile, not that he was succeeding at all. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

“Me too, I didn’t want you to be alone.”

“You don’t have to worry about me, I promise,” he assured her, his left hand in a loose grip on her hip, the both of them angled so that they could keep an eye on the toddler and the cat, who were softly playing. It was clear Nova understood Wyatt was a fragile child, with how she was behaving around him. It was sweet to witness. “My parents are coming tomorrow. I want you to meet them, if that’s alright with you?”

“Yeah, of course,” she immediately nodded, before a crease formed between her brows. “They do know about Wyatt, right? And they’re fine with me being a mom…?”

“Of course. I promise, they’ll love you,” he sealed his word with a peck, lingering for just a second before breaking away. “And I wouldn’t care if they didn’t. I still like you.”

“How silly of me,” she laughed as he pinched her waist, making her squirm into his chest. 

“I’m gonna be late,” she argued, though her body didn’t seem to put up much of a fight, leaning into him and letting her breath catch time and time again.

“You’re the one who wanted a kiss, Y/N,” he grinned, pulling back to look at her – pausing to push some stray hairs behind her ears. 

“Okay, okay, I really have to go now. I can’t let Alison wait for me again,” she mumbled against his lips one last time before finally ripping herself out of his arms, tightening her loose jean jacket around her and adjusting her baseball cap and sunglasses combo securely on her head. 

“Call me later, okay? I’m free to talk between four and five, and then any time after eight, okay?”

“I will.” She smiled sweetly at him, glancing at him once more before opening the door. “Bye honey, I love you!”

“Love you too, baby.”

────────────

“So what do you have for me today?” Alison spun around in her chair, so many times Y/N nearly got dizzy herself watching it, even though she was comfortable sat on the carpet, legs crossed.

“I might have a little something. Inspiration’s kinda been flowing lately,” she mumbled, heat rising to the apples of her cheeks.

Alison threw her head back laughing, almost looking like a kid again despite having turned 36 that summer. “It doesn’t have anything to do with you having been so busy these past few months, does it?”

“No,” Y/N scoffed, picking at the hem of her ankle length skirt. “Well, maybe a little.”

“You know there’s no point lying since I’m all but gonna read through your diary in a minute, y’know?” Alison grinned, wiggling her eyebrows up and down. “C’mon, you’ve got me on the edge of my seat here! At least show me some of what you wrote?”

“I can do that,” Y/N smiled, biting her lip to keep from looking too lovestruck. She grabbed a tattered notebook out of her tote bag, starting to flip to the first tabbed page the second she found it. 

She’d already numbered them, one through ten, in the order she wanted them. Y/N, of course, understood she couldn’t fully control what would and wouldn’t make the album, but she’d already created the concept in her mind, and she wasn’t willing to give it up without a fight. 

“This one’s either gonna be Style or We Never Go Out Of Style, but the second’s kind of long, so I’m leaning toward Style,” Y/N rambled, giving away the notebook to Alison to look over. Only words were splattered over the pages, no notes or anything.

 Y/N couldn’t for the life of her write music, not well at least, but that’s what Alison was there for. Y/N did the writing, and Alison produced. It worked for them. 

Of course they both had input in both areas. Alison helped Y/N expand on her lyrics, and Y/N gave stylistic opinions and ideas. And so far it had worked well, and surprisingly quickly.

“Oh, wow.”

“Is it that bad?” Y/N cringed, her nose scrunching up.

Alison was completely blank-faced, staring in awe. “No, not at all. This is fucking phenomenal. God.”

Ever the neat freak in her own mess, she’d tabbed and numbered all of the songs, all with light blue post-it notes sticking out of the slightly coffee-stained pages. Alison unpromptedly moved to the second, then the third, and so on.

“Well False God is obviously about sex, right?” Alison chuckled as she flipped to the next page.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Y/N smirked, biting at her bottom lip.

“You’re really gonna have to explain yourself after this, y’know? I thought you’d sworn off relationships…” 

The singer couldn’t help but let a genuine smile spread across her face. “I guess it kind of snuck up on me.”

“… and who exactly was it?” Alison grinned, “That snuck up on you?”

“Eh, I think I’ll keep that one to myself, for now,” Y/N smirked, pursing her lips as she tried not to laugh at Alison’s desperate expression. 

“C’mon, give me a hint,” the producer all but begged. “Do I know them?”

“Not personally, no. You might’ve heard of them.”

“So they’re in the public eye,” Alison continued, leaning forward in intrigue. “What, are they an actor? A singer? Model? Come on, tell me!”

“Umm, well, it’s a guy,” Y/N smiled – it seemed like recently just thinking about Justin brought a smile to her face. “And he’s an athlete.”

“Ooh, muscles,” Alison wiggled her eyebrows, her insatiable curiosity only growing by the minute. “So he’s tall, handsome and strong, then. Can he pick you up with ease, like, some romance-book style shit?”

“Oh easily,” Y/N laughed. 

“You’re really killing me, Y/N.”

“Tell you what, I’ll introduce you two after the album is done, okay?” Y/N relented. It wasn’t like that was something she was avoiding; Alison was one of her close friends, and Justin was an integral part of her life now, she wanted them to meet.

“Deal.”

“And it's not like I'm gonna be able to keep that from you. Two more questions and I'm gonna fold, y'know.”

Y/N swiveled her chair around to her “desk”, grabbing a yellow legal notepad and a ballpoint pen. Then, she began scribbling something down, though Alison couldn’t see what. 

When she finally flipped the page around, it revealed a list, scribbled out in semi-legible handwriting.

Style or We Never Go Out Of Style

Death By A Thousand Cuts

Hits Different

Now That We Don’t Talk

Say Don’t Go

I Wish You Would

The Archer

Daylight

False God

“Slut!”

Alison tapped the bottom of the page twice with her pen as she said; “I think you might’ve lost your mind with this last one. It’ll be a miracle if we get this through.”

“I know, but I love it so much. It’s the perfect closer for this album,” Y/N nodded, anxiously biting her lip – a clear nervous tick with how often she did it. “It's so romantic.”

“And don’t think I missed the clear story in this,” Alison teased, moving her pen to the top of the page. “I’m gonna guess you had a ‘casual’ relationship, that didn’t end very well. And then you were broken up for a while, before making it official again, and now you’re disgustingly in love and everything is perfect. Am I right?”

“Close enough,” Y/N laughed, before the smile faded off her face. “But I do love him. And we’re serious, very serious. That breakup was… a lapse in judgment, for lack of a better word, for the both of us. He had a lot going on and something casual wasn’t strong enough to hold. But this, what we have now, I know it will.”

“Inspirational, I love it,” Alison teased back, trying to reassure her friend she meant no ill will. “As long as you’re happy.”

“I am,” she grinned, pearly whites on full display in a childlike smile. “I’m really really happy.”

────────────

early june 2024

liked by sabrinacarpenter, conangray, icespice and 198 949 others

y/n_y/l/n: this one hits different... coming soon

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────────────

“I’m a little scared,” Y/N admitted as she put down her phone, turning “do not disturb” on so she wouldn’t see anything regarding her post. “I know we have to at some point, but I’m still scared.”

“Why,” Justin mumbled, pulling her close to his body as he laid on the couch, her head slotting perfectly on his chest. “Everyone loves you. And your music.”

“Yeah, but this whole album is us,” she sighed. “I feel like if people don’t like it they won’t like us being together.”

“I'm sorry, honey, but that’s insane. What anyone else thinks is completely irrelevant. We’re the only two in this relationship, the rest can go fuck themselves.”

“Whoa, harsh words, J,” she dramatically gasped, sobering up immediately at the sight of Justin’s tired face. The off season was nearing its end, and practices were many and frequent. The only time off Justin got was spent between watching tape, sleeping, and hanging out with Y/N. “I know, though. I don’t care in that way, it’s just different with you, I guess.”

“How so?”

“I don’t think this will end, so I want whatever music I make about us to be… timeless,” she shrugged, missing the small smile growing on his pink lips. “And I don’t want you to be bothered by any of this in any way at all. And I know we have a plan for everything, but it’s just a little nerve wracking, that’s all.”

“I know, I know, honey,” he kissed the crown of her head, letting his hand make itself comfortable on her lower back, tracing slow shapes under her sweater. “But I haven’t even listened to any of it yet, and I know it’s gonna be great. I mean I've read it, but that's different, I think. And the things you write… I mean it’s closer to poetry than anything else. I don’t understand how someone as smart as you could be with someone like me.”

“Someone like you?” she questioned disbelievingly. “You mean a tall as hell football player who loves weird movies and is way out of my league? Yeah, no. And who are you talking like you’re dumb, Mr. 4.0 GPA.”

“It was little more than 4.0.”

“See, I only date smart guys,” she teased, leaning up to press a quick kiss on his lips.

“No, you only date me. There’s a difference, hopefully,” he muttered, guiding her back to him with a steady hand on her jaw. 

“You know I’m only seeing you, don’t be ridiculous. I could never do Nova like that,” she teased, laying her head back on his chest, lulled into peacefulness by the steady beat of his heart. “Queen Nova, our baby.”

“I know, I’m just messing with you.” 

A few minutes passed, with only Justin tightening his hold around her and them exchanging some pecks here and there, no words said, before Y/N spoke up again; “Do you want me to make my Chargers debut this season?”

He didn’t say anything in reply, and she couldn’t from her position see his face and judge his feelings based on that, so she continued instead.

“I don’t have to if you don’t want me to. I know it’s a big deal for you. And I know we have a plan and everything, but if you’re uncomfortable; fuck the plan.”

“I want you there, of course I do,” he quickly forced out, wrapping a second arm around her so she had no way out of his grip. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel the effort in their relationship was one sided. “And I do think everything’s gonna work out. You’ll go to the game, cheer me on from the crowd without anyone but us knowing. Then we go home together and have victory sex.”

“Sounds pretty great, actually,” she laughed, feeling the vibrations from his chest throughout her entire body – it never failed to set her every nerve ending aflame. “Oh, what should I wear? I think if I ask nicely enough Joey will give me one of his jerseys,” she teased.

“Don’t even joke about that. If you’re not wearing mine you’re not wearing anyone’s.”

She wanted to laugh at his tone, but the deadpan look on his face and his slightly furrowed brow only had her swooning for him once again. Even if she’d thought that the action was unnecessarily jealous for any of her exes, Justin somehow made it a desirable trait. 

“Okay then,” she kissed at his jaw, feeling his face soften under her lips. “It’ll be fun actually watching a game live. The last one I watched was in like 2022. I think it was the Eagles.”

“Yeah, well, I have a feeling this season’s gonna be different. Especially if you’re gonna be there watching me,” he smiled, inching his hand up her spine all the way to the base of her neck, twirling his fingers in her hair.

────────────

july 2024

liked by taylorswift, dovecameron, florencepugh and 279 224 others

y/n_y/l/n: love-struck, lovesick and lovelorn in my new album California!

out July 19!!!

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fan: OMG WHAT

fan: can't wait!!!

fan: 🩵🩵🩵

gracieabrams: i can't wait!!

y/n_y/l/n: <333

fan: is she in love?? this sounds like a love-y album??

oliviarodrigo: 💛🩵

fan: the beach vibes im deaddddd