Just. Breathe.

I feel like I only ever blog to talk about how unbelievably amazing my life is but I can't really help it!! I feel like I just woke up in a fairy tale! #1: I feel so beautiful. I feel totally balanced, healthy, happy and confident. I've never felt so good in my skin. No idea what I weigh. I eat what I like. I'm finally normal. I love all foods. I don't think about food when I'm not hungry. I exercise because I love it- and only about 45 minutes a day including walking. #2: I completely adore this guy. He is so incredible I cannot even put it into words. Wow. He's the one. I love my job. I love every single part of my day. I find it incredibly hard to sleep these days because I'm so excited and happy ALL THE TIME. I'm so grateful and my heart feels so full. I just can't really describe the level of happiness I'm operating at these days! Yesterday I frigging won a free trip for two to the place where my guy JUST moved to in the middle of nowhere. WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THAT!? I now get to go visit him for free and have an amazing weekend with him. Wow. My mind was absolutely blown and I believe in the universe delivering things to you and manifesting whatever you want. Literally anything. I'll try to tone it down next time. More fitness posts to come! Just giddy!!

Anyway. Congrats if you read that whole post. Until tomorrow my beautiful followers!! xx

Week 0 vs. week 3 of a regular workout schedule and eating whatever the fuck I want! Haha. Can't wait for next weeks cause I have my period right now and have felt better.

Sooooo that date I told you guys about it?? It went SUPER WELL! Ended up being 24 hours long of just pure happiness. I think he's the one. We had such an instant connection it was so lovely!! I'm am super excited. Won't get too ahead of myself but I am definitely pumped to see where it goes! Our next date was another 24 hour one and it was the day before he moved away for 6 months! (But I will see him once or twice, gonna go visit and he will be home). He gave me a care package that was way too cute for words and that baseball describing our first date and how amazing he thinks I am- I almost cried! That shirtless photo is him determinedly making my latte perfectly to my liking in the morning haha. He sat there and watched the machine like a hawk so he wouldn't miss any steps. It was so cute you guys I died haha. Anyway there's a little update for ya! I am going to start posting more I swear !!

Hello lovely!! Ahh I need to do a huge update on this!! I meet them online usually. (Plenty of fish). I dated a guy that went to my gym but that went weird and now I have to see him all the time haha. But I met an AMAZING guy and I'm gonna do a post right now!! Haha

Obligatory sweat bathroom selfie post #kaylaitsines week 2 legs!! #bikinibodyguide #thekaylamovement had to baby my back quite a bit but still had a killer workout!

5:30am gym sesh to train myself before I train my clients! It's leg day baby let's go!!

Thank too!! The date is on Tuesday (I overly prepared) expect a detailed post after the date because I just have the best feeling about this guy! :):)

Got a new outfit for my date that I'm super excited forrrrrr!!

Feeling adorable warrants a selfie!

Picture dump Exhibit A: leaned out over Christmas B: feel bad ass after a 500 rep challenge C: loving life with my besties at "friendsmas" D: have there ever been truer words? E: the last grocery haul that I got F: another joyful time with friends

xxxx

I have been terrible at posting lately! It's because I'm so damn HAPPY all the time. Last night I literally couldn't sleep cause I was too excited to wake up. Nothing special is even happening today! Just working, sleeping in, gonna work out, have my coffee and oatmeal... Dinner party with my besties lately. I cannot describe the difference prozac has made to my binging. It's like I am a completely different person. It's not A CONSTANT STRUGGLE ANYMORE. I must say if anyone has struggled with binge eating and bulimia- I wish I started it years ago when they first suggested it. It's like I just don't care about food anymore. I just eat when I'm hungry, I eat all foods. I'm normal. I don't weigh myself- but everyone's saying I look smaller and fitter. I've still kinda binged or "overate" once a week, but no longer purging, and it's just so so crazy the level of happiness and contentment I sit at all the time. I didn't have depression to begin with, but I definitely had anxiety I am SO MUCH less anxious!!!! I can get work done, I can call people, I don't avoid everyone, I make more plans, I don't get fucking terrified nervous before dates. Anyway. If you have any questions about it please ask, because the difference it has made to my life is so amazing and if anyone struggled as much as I did with recovery then it may be an option for you. There is options! I used to be like "no way I'm not taking drugs, I can do this all on my own yada yada" but now I'm totally converted and will take prozac for the rest of my life if I need to. It's a miracle in a little pill. I am still ALWAYS working on it too, journaling, mediating everyday, reading recovery books, going to therapy, and intuitive eating (don't want to give the impression that is magically went away.. It just magically got so much easier to handle) it's like bulimia and binging used to take over my whole life, and now it's this tiny little side problem that I feel like I have the power to just flick away. Anyway! I think I found my future hubby online and I can't wait to meet him and I shouldn't get my hopes up because I know as well as anyone that people are so different in person. But I can't explain this feeling I have about it. It's feels very right. I will meet him in 2 weeks when he gets home from Mexico! He's called me, texts me everyone morning and all the time, sends me snap chats and he's so adorable. Usually I don't like clingy guys but I don't feel like he's clingy- he's just nice and genuine and likes me and I like him and there is no bullshit! Anyway I will keep my guard up until I meet him! HAVE THE BESTEST DAY EVER MY LOVES!!

Snaps from the weekend! I HAD THE MOST AMAZING WEEKEND! started off with a Friday night sushi and wine date with my bestie, then we stopped at Chapters (Major bookstore chain in Canada) and I won 5,000 dollars!!!!!!!!! It was so amazing. I absolutely LOVE to read and am just so incredibly excited. You can see how I spent my first 1000 dollars all the stuff lined up on the couch! I went to my Moms Christmas party, so much fun and I just love my dress :) haha. Drunk bathroom selfies... Typical. I taught an AMAZING spin class on Saturday morning, they had to turn 10 people away it was so full! I love my class. One of the ladies in my bootcamp had me over for brunch and cooked me this amazing meal and told me I completely changed her life and was tearing up and I wanted to burst with happiness!! I spent Sunday sleeping in and being a bit lazy, and then took my room mate on a shopping spree at Chapters. I can't wait to treat everyone I know! I also got that new tank top from lululemon and I love it!

OOTD! Went on yet another terrible first date last night. Seriously not sure if there is a curse on me or what the fuck is happening. I am clearly cute, fun, ambitious, friendly (and of course modest) WHY TELL ME WHY. Anyway it's not like I liked him either so I am trying not to be offended: Would have been nice if he paid for my 5$ beer that HE suggested. Fucker. Also I'm never telling anyone that I'm a personal trainer again. LITERALLY ALL HE TALKED ABOUT WAS HIS WORKOUT ROUTINE. Yes that's cool that you exercise but I don't need to know your workout split, your body building goals, your body fat percentage, how amazing you think you are, and how many muscle ups you can do. Are you on a date or interviewing me as a trainer??? UGHHHHHHH I HATE MEN THIS HAS BEEN AN UPDATE GOODBYE