ON HIATUS - Stars and the Moon Above

Ryland turns when he feels the weight of your gaze prickling at the skin between his shoulderblades and scalp. Your head is tilted a little bit, a smile on your face as you watch Ryland move toward you.

He barely murmurs a small “hi” before he’s got his lips on yours, feeling the rushing blood under his fingertips as he brings his hands to your waist. Slipping his hands under your shirt, Ryland feels the warmth radiating through your lower back and feels a pulsing in his own body. Feeling you, here and now, hot and loving him was just… an answer to a prayer he’d forgotten he’d asked for.

You do that thing where you press your front to his after your pointer finger sloooowwwly pulls him closer to you by his belt loop, and damn is Ryland a goner. You groan a little into Ryland’s mouth when he pulls you up and towards him: the sheer tangibility of his want only adding to the lust in your mind. You feel the little spikes of his hair as you slowly bring your hands up to the nape of his neck to feel him and then the smoothness of his skin as you bring your hands to his face in any attempt to mold you two impossibly closer.

Only when you start to feel your head physically weigh heavier and when you hear the loud whooshing of your blood behind your ears do you force yourself away. Panting, you see Ryland’s eyebrows screwed up. He whines and rests his forhead on your chest: how could you be so cruel as to pull away from him? Ugh. “I’m hard,” he whispers.

You chuckle breathlessly. “What’d you say?”

Ryland looks up: the epitome of want and desire and undercover eroticism. “I’m fucking hard.” His hand reaches for yours and he palms the back of your hand. Eyes locked on yours as he brings your hand to the crotch of his pants to make you feel just what you do to him. The way his throat vibrates with a barely withheld whimper when you palm him makes you want to drop his pants right then and there. “Y/n.”

An evil glint is in your eyes. “I love when this happens.”

Ryland groans, this time from embarrassment. “I love that you love it but I- it happens so often.”

You didn’t think that whoever you were on earth was someone who was cocky. From what you can recall you were rather polite, and humble. Which is why you came to the conclusion that you had possibly gotten the tattoo as a reminder. What the reminder was intended for… well you weren’t exactly sure. Instead you brush it off. You had more important things to worry about. Such as the odd, yet charming man you had woken up with in depths of outer space.

Once you are dressed you head into the lab only to be greeted by the raggedy blonde hair man. He stood slumped over in front of the whiteboard, scribbling things down. When you left him to take a shower the whiteboard was practically empty. Now it was full of words and ramblings. As you approached him you soon realized what he’d been writing. He’d been writing down memories and characteristics the two of you had. You let out a faux cough making yourself known only for him to turn around and smile at you. It seemed that while you were showering he shaved his overgrown beard. He looked better but his long hair still seemed somewhat offputting.

“I figured out my name! And I think I figured out your name!”

You nodded your head and stepped forward. You were greatly intrigued by this. Before your shower you’d established that whoever the two of you were back on earth the two of you were close. Like close close. So close, that you’d even share vague memories of the two of you having sex. Which made the blonde man’s cheeks turn a bright tomato red. He’d then shyly nodded his head upon finding out this knowledge. Clearing indicating that he’d also remembered your love affair.

As a result on the whiteboard he’d simply written: “friends with benefits,” “Get along well,” and “friends.” It satisfied you to a degree. However it also annoyed you since that felt like an oversimplification of who you were to each other. But you left that alone as you were worried that may have been a private thought, rather than an open statement.

You nodded your head and replied. “Okay. What’s your name?”

It made him pause for a moment. He looked at you bewildered and he cleared his throat before asking this, “You don’t wanna know your name first?”

“I can wait.”

He nodded his head. Then turned back to the whiteboard and in blue ink which was established to be things about you. He wrote “patient.”

He then turned back toward you and said, “My name is Doctor Ryland Grace.” He said your full name and you simply smiled. At least now you have an identity. You liked the sound of your name so much that more memories fluid your system. Such as your early childhood memories, who your parents were, and even memories about your extended family. Who could have guessed that with a name you’d remember so much in such a brief period of time? It made you wonder what else could trigger your memories. You decided to test it. Maybe Dr. Grace had once seen your tattoo?

“I just discovered I have a tattoo.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I think it’s new. Not something I had long.” You didn’t know why you added that. It was a spur of the moment sort of remark. You didn’t even know that you’d say that until the words left your mouth. In an instant you began to feel almost protective of the tattoo. Maybe it held greater meaning that you intentionally thought. And then all at once it hits you once he asks to see it. This tattoo wasn’t something that was meant for just anyone to see. It was a promise. A promise you’d made to someone deeply important to you. Your lover… a man who was likely left on earth. As he repeats his question you feel as though the walls are collapsing in on you. In a haste you blurt this out.

“I don’t think I should show it to you… It’s under my breast.”

Dr. Grace nodded his head and looked elsewhere. Clearing his throat. It was extremely apparent that you had made things awkward. With a polite smile he simply said.

“Oh… you don’t have to show it then.”

You nodded your head but said nothing in return. Instead, you decided to distract yourself by reading over what Dr. Grace had written while you had bathed. The thing that stood out to you the most was the fact that he’d written that he was a teacher/microbiologist. While you were a doctor. It made sense, since neither of you had recalled ever being a pilot. Which meant Yao and Ilyukhina were the captain and engineer. You decided it was best to give him some disclosure about why you couldn’t show him the tattoo. Rather than to leave him wondering. He’d been truthful to you what was the point in not having a truthful relationship? It’d only lead to chaos.

“It’s a phrase by the way. I think it’s a matching tattoo. I must have gotten it with someone I loved.”

“What’s it say?”

“I—it’s personal. I know that we knew each other on earth but I don’t want to share it with you. You still feel like an acquaintance.”

He nodded his head. You were somewhat surprised that he didn’t press. For a scientist he could be considerate. Not demanding answers especially after waking up from a coma. You took the red marker from his hand and simply wrote “considerate.”

It seemed that Doctor Grace thought highly of you. Perhaps, it wouldn’t be so bad to work with him after all? At the end of the day that didn’t change anything. The two of you were on a one way ticket to Tau Ceti. Which meant that it didn’t matter how kindhearted he was. It wouldn’t change the fact that you were loved back on earth and you’d never kiss your lover's lips again.

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