Peace or Freedom

Dean stormed out of the meeting the second they’d been dismissed, not particularly caring how it might’ve looked. “I’m going for a walk,” he all but growled, pushing past some of his fellow rebels. This wasn’t what they’d signed up for – none of them had, and none of them deserved this. They had to get back into contact with the others. Enough was enough.

Cas’ heart was hammering in his chest. He swallowed down bile as he stood stone faced, trying to wrap his mind around what had to be done. He’d figured it was coming; the Capitol rarely held prisoners without torturing them. He looked around at the other guards, noting that Sam looked strangely unaffected by the news while Amy’s face had gone white as a sheet. He was thinking he’d probably have to talk to her later when Dean brushed past him, saying something about taking a walk. Cas watched him walking away for a moment before following, eyebrows knit in concern--and fear. They had to be more careful than ever not to reveal themselves now, and even added effort might be in vain. 

Finn gestured with his coffee as if toasting in agreement, taking a few more sips. Whilst the taste wasn’t great, he’d been deprived of it, and already felt the buzz running through his body. He nodded at the other man in recognition of his name, though he was sure they’d never met before. “I’m Finnick,” he smiled. “Excuse me if I’m wrong, but are you new to the rebels? Or have I just never had the pleasure of meeting you?”

A smile that didn’t reach his eyes formed on his face when Cas agreed, and Jesse threw his arms up, victorious. “Fuck yes! Pizza for days!” Castiel, however, pulled an arm back down, which actually helped Jesse with his balance. He was about to take off again and turn the music up even more when Cas re-positioned to hold his hand instead. For the first time in the last hour, Jesse actually froze, staring at their hands. Everything felt amplified on coke; he swore he could feel Castiel’s heartbeat through his fingers. The thing that really made him stop though, was why he was holding his hand at all. For once, it wasn’t a threatening sort of hold. The man wasn’t about to break his fingers. No, he was talking about caring, and friendship. At least Jesse thought he was — he wasn’t really listening. He was trying his best to concentrate, but didn’t really understand what Cas was saying. But the other man was his friend, so Jesse nodded, hoping agreeing with him would make Cas happy. “Yeah. Yeah, man, sure. — Hey, yo, ” he suddenly pulled away, turning to point to the bottles he’d swung. “You want a drink, like last time? Litrations, or whatever the fuck it was?”

“That…actually makes perfect sense. Happy to do it for ya,” Sam said somewhat robotically, giving Cas a seemingly mandatory pat on the shoulder. At least, it was what he’d usually do, so it seemed to fit. “Good luck, man.”

“You too...man.”

Now Sam fully understood; he’d told his family the lie that the Rebels had captured and held him prisoner, but many hadn’t bought into it. Cas was trying to subtly say that there was a slight chance he may not make it back. He nodded to show that he was up to speed. “I’ll try to keep suspicions low on this end then. I can always use the ‘family emergency’ card. Since you’re going home, that would make sense.”

“Thank you,” he said earnestly, pausing a bit before continuing. “I am sorry to bring you into all this, but I needed to make as rational a decision as possible. Not to mention, I figured you'd be more objective to the prospect of me entering into a potentially dangerous decision than any of the others. You know me, but not much.”

Sam thought for a moment, trying not to take too much time; he could tell the man was nervous doing this where they could easily be heard if someone walked by. “Honestly, I don’t think it would make people too suspicious, you going home. Everyone th– knows you’re for the Capitol’s side in this, right? Even the ones at home?”

“Actually, no.” Cas took a deep breath before explaining why that wasn’t the case. “There are many in my family who don’t believe I could’ve possibly been captured by the Rebels. According to my sister, they feel I was too well-trained to let that happen, so they doubt my loyalty.”

There was a pause after Cas finished, in which Sam tried to comprehend what he was saying–and, most importantly, what the question actually was. “Okay, lemme make sure I’ve got this straight. Most of your family’s still nutso robots of the Capitol, but you’re worried enough about one sibling that you’re thinking about sneaking back in to…to what? See if she’s still alive?”

“Precisely,” Cas confirmed with a nod, relieved he didn’t have to explain that part again. He was getting more and more paranoid with each passing second, afraid that they were drawing too much attention to themselves.

Sam was still confused. First, he still wasn’t sure what Cas was talking about in the first place. Second, he wasn’t sure why the man would choose to talk to him since they barely knew each other. He finally realized Castiel was waiting for a reply. An encouraging “okay” was all he could think to say.

Cas let out a sigh before beginning. “I have not been home in a very long time. I still keep in touch with as many of my.. sympathizing siblings as I safely can. But-” He leaned in closer to Sam so no person or camera could overhear. It was clear he was too close when Sam leaned away a bit. “I haven't heard from one of my sisters in almost two weeks. It’s concerning.”

Dean raised an eyebrow at Castiel’s initial response, but looked away with a relieved nod when he let it go, knowing sixteen year old girls were the least of his worries right then. Deciding not to discuss his alcohol dependence either, Dean, as usual, stuck with joking around. “Do you just.. eat dictionaries?”

He frowned a little more at that, side-eyeing Cas for a moment, before his gaze returned to the crowd. “Well that sounds ominous – thank you,” he spoke sarcastically without turning toward the other. “How do you suggest I take the edge off then, huh?”

Cas sighed, accompanied by a slight roll of his eyes. “No, Dean. I studied in school.”

From the man’s behavior, the hunter thought it best if he go ahead and ask. “Cas, what’s going on?”

“Uh yeah, sure,” Sam answered with an ounce of confusion. He followed Cas to a more secluded part of a connecting hallway. He should be nervous, wary, from what Dean had told him of the man who’d fomerly worked under Voldemort. But he just..wasn’t. In fact, he felt calmer than Cas looked at that very moment.

“I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you, since we’ve barely met properly.”