Noah Kahan
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@justasensitivesoul
Sometimes I wish I could find the words to explain how I feel. But I’ve realised that my feelings are infinite and words only define and are limited.
So that means I could sit here and write the entire dictionary and not even come close to how I feel.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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In a real tricky situation.
Lamotrigine doesnt seem to be stabilising my moods at all.
So my options are:
1. Lamotrigine - have to cope with severe bipolar mood episodes.
2. Lithium - have lots of acne, thinner hair and be in pain (can’t have NSAIDS)
3. Carbamazepine - have constant tingling pains in legs and can’t lie down for long but be completely bipolar stable.
Depression feels like you have a circle missing in your soul and you’re scrambling in the dark to find that circle piece to make you whole again except there is no circle only squares
Eventually you’re going to get tired of looking because nothing fits… ⭕️🟥
I have constant butterflies in my stomach and my chest.
I can’t sleep. I can’t think. I can’t breathe.
Why doesn’t anyone talk about how having contamination OCD costs a lot of money?
Like I need to buy dettol wipes, cleaning products, disposable gloves, skin care items, toiletries, plastic cutlery and so much more…
It’s so hard.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
19/04/26 - Mixed Episode
One minute I feel invincible and untouchable like I can take on the world. I want to feel everything and I want to know everything. I feel like I accepted life for this very reason. I want to feel real, I want to feel alive and I want to feel it all. I want it all NOW. I get extremely irritable and agitated that it’s not happening fast enough that my reality cannot keep up with my brain. Because what’s the point of living unless you take everything face on?
Oh, no…
It’s then I feel absolutely overwhelmed and feel every bit of sadness ever possible. I feel like I have took on the world but I’ve collected every pain, every cry and every worry. I get angry with the world and feel it would be easier if I got off. I’m not actively suicidal but I wouldn’t care if it just happened. That it’s what should be and I would happily greet death as an old friend.
The question is “so, where does that leave me?” And the answer is I’ll let you know when I have figured that out.
No matter how hard I try recently I cannot get away from my sadness.
“You’re doing so much better!”
Yes, maybe. But it’s the fact that the worst parts of my life are permanently carved into my skin as a constant reminder of how I chose to cope.
Nobody understands how hard it is to live with a mental illness.
For months I’ve been trying to figure out who I am and what the difference between me and my illness is. Some days I’m pretty confident I could tell the two apart. I am trying to be patient, creative, kind, educated and confident. Yet when I have a blip I feel angry, destructive, impulsive, sad, empty and stupid.
How can all that work go from meaning everything to meaning nothing in a second? Being bipolar sucks…
I honestly believe I am too sensitive for this world.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Every time I’m sad or hurt I’m always crying alone. How can I teach myself to manage my emotions if I don’t know how and have never been taught?
does anyone else ever have anger so big that they just can't let go of it, like to get past it feels like dishonoring your suffering and admitting that it's completely meaningless, which feels worse than the anger in the first place
maybe i kinda like being complicated
20/10/2025
I turn 29. My Mum takes really ill and we are waiting for an ambulance. I guess the “happy” part of a birthday is just not meant to be mine.
I can’t believe how selfish people can be. Sometimes I am ashamed to be human. I find love and innocence through nature and animals.
If I want God I don’t look at humanity.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I can spend half a year trying to rebuild myself after being broken for so long, yet just one little hurtful comment can break me back down to nothing…
Had two tattoos today. They did not hurt at all. My feelings hurt way more…
