One Man's Journey for coffee and the perfect Sub.

“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”

“Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”

“He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”

“It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”

"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"

I learned something new and horrifying today which is… that… no submarine is ever considered “lost” … there is apparently a tradition in the U.S. Navy that no submarine is ever lost. Those that go to sea and do not return are considered to be “still on patrol.”

?????

There is a monument about this along a canal near here its… the worst thing I have ever seen. it says “STILL ON PATROL” in huge letters and then goes on to specify exactly how many WWII submarine ghosts are STILL OUT THERE, ON PATROL (it is almost 2000 WWII submarine ghosts, ftr). Here is the text from it:

“U.S. Navy Submarines paid heavily for their success in WWII. A total of 374 officers and 3131 men are still on board these 52 U.S. submarines still on patrol.”

THANKS A LOT, U.S. NAVY, FOR HAVING THIS TOTALLY NORMAL AND NOT AT ALL HORRIFYING TRADITION, AND TELLING ALL OF US ABOUT IT. THANKS. THANK YOU

Personal story time: whenever I go to Field Museum’s Egypt exhibit, I stop by the plaque at the entrance to the underground rooms. It has an English translation of a prayer to feed the dead, and a list of all the names they know of the mummies on display there. I always recite the prayer and read aloud the list of names. They wanted to live forever, to always have their souls fed and their names spoken. How would they feel about being behind glass, among strangers? Every little thing you can do to give respect for the dead is warranted.

But something deeper.  Something Other.  Something not natural.

Sailors have always been superstitious.

Not one of them described it right.

You don’t hear about it so much now that we don’t lose ships anymore, really, not like we did at the height of the sea trade when barely an inch of ocean floor didn’t bear some wreck or other.  And better ships and GPS and weather satellites have all played their part in that.

But we have protection now that we didn’t before.  They don’t interfere with war and battle, even on behalf of what used to be their country, or with rocks and weather and human stupidity.  Those are concerns for the living.

But the Other Things, the Things that shouldn’t be there - They can’t get to us now without a fight.  It’s a fight They haven’t won in a very long time.

As long as we remember them, as long as we call out to them - not very often, just once a year will do - they will keep protecting us from the Things that go bump in the deep.

Left some water bottles in my car overnight last night and I thought they would be frozen when I got them out this morning, but they weren't. Then I got excited because I thought they were supercooled and would turn into ice when jostled, so I slammed one down on the kitchen counter, but nothing happened. Disappointed, I opened it to drink and that's when it froze.

I was looking for the perfect description of my eating habits and it already exists.

Unreal. Apparently we're number one on Netflix in 80 countries. And more importantly we're the number one trending thing on Tumblr. How on earth....?