just someone writing

Tripping over some  rocks, she tried to keep up better over the hard terrain. The steep drop off to her right kept her feet nimble.

As she neared the top of the mount, her feet slowed again. Soon, she would have to go on alone. Even the company of the cleric was better than being by herself... fading into the Unbroken Dark. Her ceremonial lead was tugged at — she caught up again.

The two of them reached the cave mouth. It yawned open, the darkness nearly something she could reach out and grab. It was somehow thicker than the shadows of dusk that were falling. It was nearly time. She would enter the cave when the first star appeared in the night sky. Her wrists were unbound. There was nowhere for her to go now. She sat on a sun-warmed stone and waited, watching the shadows grow longer and deeper.

“It’s time.” The priest motioned for her to stand. On shaky legs, she stood and walked to him. He blessed her one final time, his words for the first time feeling meaningless and holding no comfort. Nodding, he turned from her and started his journey down. She turned to face the Maw. It was just her now.

Swallowing hard, she recited a small prayer of protection and luck. Concentrating, she put one foot in front of the other until she reached the limit of the Darkness. Carefully, she raised her hand and extended it into the cave’s shadows. The air felt... different. Warm, but not unpleasant. Strange for a cave. She stepped into it.

The warmth engulfed her. It was Very Still immediately. The sounds of the nighttime insects didn’t reach her, even though she was only half a meter or so into the cave. She turned around. The outside seemed like a veil had been dropped over it. It seemed almost not real anymore. Or, a memory of something that once had been real. She shook her head; she couldn’t explain the feeling she had.

Turning back into the cave, she carefully put her arms out in front of her. She moved forward slowly, her eyesight dimming as she left the entrance behind. Suddenly she felt a wall in front of her. Alright, she thought. There was a single doorway at the back of the cave she was to find and enter through. It would take her to her Destination.

Feeling along the natural cave wall, she found a patch of stone which was incredibly Smooth. Heart starting to beat faster, she continued along, reaching for the entrance she knew was there. Suddenly her right hand was touching the open air. She carefully continued, reaching out to find the other side of the tunnel.

Her hand connected with rock again. It was a modestly sized opening; wide enough for one person to walk through at a time. Of course it was. There was only ever one person making the journey at a time. Swallowing, she took her first step down the passage. She took another. Then another. Gaining momentum and losing a little fear, she began her journey.

***

It felt like she had walked all night. The tunnel had begun to slowly descend after a time, so she had an easy time on the gentle downslope. Keeping her gait steady, she tried to remain light of heart, as when she had entered the passage. Suddenly she stopped. The air was noticeably warmer here. Blinking futilely, she started walking again. There was nothing to do but keep going.

Her hands ran along the sides of the passage as she continued, gently descending. Then her left hand was touching nothing but empty space. Pausing, she felt around in front of her and to her right. She sussed out that the tunnel took a sharp left and kept moving, again running her hands along the smooth cave walls.

It grew warmer and warmer until it felt like a warm summer evening. The air seemed fresh, as if a breeze had just blown through. But it was still and silent as ever. The descent became steeper, and she slowed to remain careful. Mind racing, she remembered what the priests had told her.

The Quiet God speaks when no one listens; she was now the Listener for her people. And the alms bringer. As she was the alms.

Her fingers ran over something bumpy. She froze. She was nearly there now. It was the language of the Quiet God. Shaking, she ran her fingers over the bumps and grooves. She had been taught to read this language since birth. But her mind nearly forgot.

! ENTER BEYOND THE LISTENER AND THE OBLATION }

! ENTER BEYOND THE NAOS OF THE UNSPEAKING }

Trembling, she turned and continued her journey down the corridor. His Greatness was near.

The air changed. It felt... open. She took a step forward and felt the walls disappear. Keeping her hands at her sides, she trusted and continued. The stone under her turned to soft moss. It was spongy underneath her sandaled feet. She resisted the urge to slow down.

She felt a thought form in her head. She brushed it aside. It came back. Annoyed, she tried to focus on her holy journey. But there it was again. Insistent. She kept her feet moving, but decided to deal with the errant thought. She waited, mind quiet.

It was her name. But not the name she was known by. Her secret name. Her holy name, shown only to her at the Rites of the Listener.

She stopped. She hadn’t thought about that name the entire journey. Why now was it so important?

‘Thulani.’

She kept her mind easy and quiet.

‘Thulani. You are here.’

She stopped walking. What?

‘You are here.’

 Was she going crazy?

‘No.’

_______

Before she could react, she felt Thasthaheer’s arm slide around her waist. “Yes, she is, but she doesn’t know that name yet.”

“Huh? Well anyway, come meet our Sibling, Albadawi... we’re eager to get to know our amaran’s lover.” She took Thulani by the hand and led her forward, into a small, bright clearing. There was a beautiful temple in the middle of it, glimmering in the warm sun.

“Come, come,” She tugged Thulani forward, through the beaded doorway.

The inside was much larger than the outside. Confused, Thulani stopped short. Light filtered in through the huge windows, which were absent on the outside. Thasthaheer ran into her from behind. He grabbed her and gently moved her slightly forward. Explaining, he commented, “Things aren’t bound to Rules like size Here. This temple is actually one of our largest libraries. Our Sibling lives here.”

Still confused, Thulani murmured, “Oh.”

Turning to the young girl, Thasthaheer lightly admonished, “Alula, you didn’t even introduce yourself, you know. My Albadawi, this is my beloved amaran, She is the god of —“

“Oh, no one cares, Amit, anyways, Albadawi, you can call me Tassos - all my family does.” She skipped forward, her brightly colored outfit swishing around her. “Come, come.”

Thasthaheer put Thulani’s arm through his. The two of them followed Tassos at a stately pace. Thasthaheer used the space created to speak privately with Thulani, “She’s always like this, that’s why she presents as a teenager. Our other amaran is, well you’ll see, but she isn’t quite as friendly. It’s just her way, but she isn’t unkind. By the way, Albadawi is the name I call you Here... it means ‘inner dream,’ as that is what you are to me.”

Feeling emotional, Thulani kissed his cheek softly. She heard Tassos calling from ahead, “Oh you two, stop it. Come!”

Eventually Thulani and Thasthaheer turned the corner Tassos had disappeared around. She and an elegant woman were seated in plush surroundings. They were speaking in hushed tones.

“Ah, there you are, amaran.” The woman addressed Thasthaheer, but was looking at Thulani. She slowly stood and glided over to Thulani. Putting a hand on each of her upper arms, she leaned in and gave Thulani a peck on each cheek. Backing up, she looked Thulani up and down. Turning her head, she released her and repeated the action with Thasthaheer. Then she motioned to the two of them to join her and Tassos. Again nervous, Thulani sat cross legged on a plush pillow. Thasthaheer casually seated himself next to her.

“Amit, you’ve been gone for Some Time... fooling around?”

Tassos tsked. “Now, now, Amil, you know he has always liked his privacy.”

”Hm, well anyways it’s good to see you. Sometimes I forget you Exist, you are gone so Long,” Amil leaned back in her seat.

“But I’m always around you,” He said somewhat confusingly. He continued warmly, “It’s good to see you both, as well.”

Tassos asked, “Amaran, tell us what you and Albadawi have been up to?”


Thasthaheer shrugged, “Nothing, really. We exist quietly.”

“He’s been showing me around Elsewhere. It’s been quite exciting... for me,” Thulani ended, unsure if she should have spoken.

Tassos brightened up, “Oh, how delightful. And, tell us, how does it compare to being Alive?”

“Oh, uh it’s different... but the same... I’m still getting used to some things. For example, how this small temple is so Big on the inside.”

Tassos smiled kindly. “How interesting. What do you think about Anadi?”

”We haven’t been to visit yet; you know how he can be,” Thasthaheer commented lightly.

Amil snorted, but said nothing. Tassos quickly said, “Oh, well, he’s a bit... difficult, but we love him all the same. Anyways, would you like a tour of the library, Albadawi?”

Amil tilted her head towards Thasthaheer. He turned to Thulani, saying, “It’s quite lovely, why don’t you go with Tassos? Amil and I have a couple things to talk about.”

Nodding, Thulani smiled at Tassos. The two of them linked arms and wandered into the enormous library.

***

Thulani reclined on the poolside chaise lounge. It was hot here, but a pleasant hot; the kind that seeped into you and warmed your spirit. She fiddled with her hands; it was strange to not have to sustain a body by eating anymore. She missed it, surprisingly. Bored, she decided to slip into the cool water. A refreshing dip would be nice.

“Thulani.”

She jumped; Thasthaheer had been gone for a little bit of time, and she didn’t know yet he’d returned.

“Sorry. I’m back.”

Turning to him, she grinned, “Thanks for the heads up.”

He shrugged. He seemed overly serious.

“What’s wrong?” Her grin turned to a frown.

“Oh, nothing. Just family drama.” He abruptly jumped into the pool. Confused, she went to sit at its edge. Dipping her lower legs into the water, she waited for him to surface. Since he didn’t need to breathe, it could be any amount of time. Eventually he came up. “Oh. I didn’t know you were waiting for me.”



”Tell me of our family drama.”

“Ah. It’s nothing...”

“Why won’t you tell me?” Thulani grew cross.

“My Albadawi, don’t feel that way... I just don’t want to worry you. It’s just an old... disagreement that sometimes comes back around. It’s nothing I can’t handle; it’s just that the conflict bothers me.”

Softening, she slipped into the water and floated over to him. Embracing him, she kissed his cheek. “Is this disagreement with Anadi?”

“Oh, no. He is just very... selective about who he entertains,” Thasthaheer wrapped his arms around her. Wading over to the edge of the pool, he leaned his back against it. “Anyways, I need to relax. Let’s go Home?”

Thulani shrugged, unenthusiastic. Her original body had been so old it had turned to dust upon her exiting it at the Door. Thasthaheer had made her a replacement, but it wasn't quite the same. It felt... itchy. But, she wanted Thasthaheer to be able to relax, so she agreed.

“We won’t stay long; I just want a little time to just be with you.” Thasthaheer kissed her cheek. “Hm? Is that okay?”

She smiled, “Yes, I understand... I’m ready to leave when you are.” He pulled her close. “In a moment.”

***

Amil kissed both cheeks and said kindly, “It was good to meet. We will see you again, even if after Some Time?”



She nodded as Thasthaheer lightly complained about Amil invading their privacy.

Tassos slipped her arms around Thulani. Hugging her, she commented, “Loved meeting you. Thanks for taking care of our Amit.”

Smiling, Thulani hugged her back. Finally she and Thasthaheer made their way out of the temple and into the jungle. He took her hand to lead her Home. It would be a bit of a walk, but having no temporal body meant it would be a pleasant stroll. Thasthaheer began chatting with her about small talk, wrapping his strong arm around her waist as the two went along.

To read on, https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H7W4GFRK?ref=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cso_cp_apin_dp_H0KWMN7AXPXBKWSRDX1Y&ref_=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cso_cp_apin_dp_H0KWMN7AXPXBKWSRDX1Y&social_share=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cso_cp_apin_dp_H0KWMN7AXPXBKWSRDX1Y&bestFormat=true

Tripping over some  rocks, she tried to keep up better over the hard terrain. The steep drop off to her right kept her feet nimble.

As she neared the top of the mount, her feet slowed again. Soon, she would have to go on alone. Even the company of the cleric was better than being by herself... fading into the Unbroken Dark. Her ceremonial lead was tugged at — she caught up again.

The two of them reached the cave mouth. It yawned open, the darkness nearly something she could reach out and grab. It was somehow thicker than the shadows of dusk that were falling. It was nearly time. She would enter the cave when the first star appeared in the night sky. Her wrists were unbound. There was nowhere for her to go now. She sat on a sun-warmed stone and waited, watching the shadows grow longer and deeper.

“It’s time.” The priest motioned for her to stand. On shaky legs, she stood and walked to him. He blessed her one final time, his words for the first time feeling meaningless and holding no comfort. Nodding, he turned from her and started his journey down. She turned to face the Maw. It was just her now.

Swallowing hard, she recited a small prayer of protection and luck. Concentrating, she put one foot in front of the other until she reached the limit of the Darkness. Carefully, she raised her hand and extended it into the cave’s shadows. The air felt... different. Warm, but not unpleasant. Strange for a cave. She stepped into it.

The warmth engulfed her. It was Very Still immediately. The sounds of the nighttime insects didn’t reach her, even though she was only half a meter or so into the cave. She turned around. The outside seemed like a veil had been dropped over it. It seemed almost not real anymore. Or, a memory of something that once had been real. She shook her head; she couldn’t explain the feeling she had.

Turning back into the cave, she carefully put her arms out in front of her. She moved forward slowly, her eyesight dimming as she left the entrance behind. Suddenly she felt a wall in front of her. Alright, she thought. There was a single doorway at the back of the cave she was to find and enter through. It would take her to her Destination.

Feeling along the natural cave wall, she found a patch of stone which was incredibly Smooth. Heart starting to beat faster, she continued along, reaching for the entrance she knew was there. Suddenly her right hand was touching the open air. She carefully continued, reaching out to find the other side of the tunnel.

Her hand connected with rock again. It was a modestly sized opening; wide enough for one person to walk through at a time. Of course it was. There was only ever one person making the journey at a time. Swallowing, she took her first step down the passage. She took another. Then another. Gaining momentum and losing a little fear, she began her journey.

***

It felt like she had walked all night. The tunnel had begun to slowly descend after a time, so she had an easy time on the gentle downslope. Keeping her gait steady, she tried to remain light of heart, as when she had entered the passage. Suddenly she stopped. The air was noticeably warmer here. Blinking futilely, she started walking again. There was nothing to do but keep going.

Her hands ran along the sides of the passage as she continued, gently descending. Then her left hand was touching nothing but empty space. Pausing, she felt around in front of her and to her right. She sussed out that the tunnel took a sharp left and kept moving, again running her hands along the smooth cave walls.

It grew warmer and warmer until it felt like a warm summer evening. The air seemed fresh, as if a breeze had just blown through. But it was still and silent as ever. The descent became steeper, and she slowed to remain careful. Mind racing, she remembered what the priests had told her.

The Quiet God speaks when no one listens; she was now the Listener for her people. And the alms bringer. As she was the alms.

Her fingers ran over something bumpy. She froze. She was nearly there now. It was the language of the Quiet God. Shaking, she ran her fingers over the bumps and grooves. She had been taught to read this language since birth. But her mind nearly forgot.

! ENTER BEYOND THE LISTENER AND THE OBLATION }

! ENTER BEYOND THE NAOS OF THE UNSPEAKING }

Trembling, she turned and continued her journey down the corridor. His Greatness was near.

The air changed. It felt... open. She took a step forward and felt the walls disappear. Keeping her hands at her sides, she trusted and continued. The stone under her turned to soft moss. It was spongy underneath her sandaled feet. She resisted the urge to slow down.

She felt a thought form in her head. She brushed it aside. It came back. Annoyed, she tried to focus on her holy journey. But there it was again. Insistent. She kept her feet moving, but decided to deal with the errant thought. She waited, mind quiet.

It was her name. But not the name she was known by. Her secret name. Her holy name, shown only to her at the Rites of the Listener.

She stopped. She hadn’t thought about that name the entire journey. Why now was it so important?

‘Thulani.’

She kept her mind easy and quiet.

‘Thulani. You are here.’

She stopped walking. What?

‘You are here.’

 Was she going crazy?

‘No.’

_______

Before she could react, she felt Thasthaheer’s arm slide around her waist. “Yes, she is, but she doesn’t know that name yet.”

“Huh? Well anyway, come meet our Sibling, Albadawi... we’re eager to get to know our amaran’s lover.” She took Thulani by the hand and led her forward, into a small, bright clearing. There was a beautiful temple in the middle of it, glimmering in the warm sun.

“Come, come,” She tugged Thulani forward, through the beaded doorway.

The inside was much larger than the outside. Confused, Thulani stopped short. Light filtered in through the huge windows, which were absent on the outside. Thasthaheer ran into her from behind. He grabbed her and gently moved her slightly forward. Explaining, he commented, “Things aren’t bound to Rules like size Here. This temple is actually one of our largest libraries. Our Sibling lives here.”

Still confused, Thulani murmured, “Oh.”

Turning to the young girl, Thasthaheer lightly admonished, “Alula, you didn’t even introduce yourself, you know. My Albadawi, this is my beloved amaran, She is the god of —“

“Oh, no one cares, Amit, anyways, Albadawi, you can call me Tassos - all my family does.” She skipped forward, her brightly colored outfit swishing around her. “Come, come.”

Thasthaheer put Thulani’s arm through his. The two of them followed Tassos at a stately pace. Thasthaheer used the space created to speak privately with Thulani, “She’s always like this, that’s why she presents as a teenager. Our other amaran is, well you’ll see, but she isn’t quite as friendly. It’s just her way, but she isn’t unkind. By the way, Albadawi is the name I call you Here... it means ‘inner dream,’ as that is what you are to me.”

Feeling emotional, Thulani kissed his cheek softly. She heard Tassos calling from ahead, “Oh you two, stop it. Come!”

Eventually Thulani and Thasthaheer turned the corner Tassos had disappeared around. She and an elegant woman were seated in plush surroundings. They were speaking in hushed tones.

“Ah, there you are, amaran.” The woman addressed Thasthaheer, but was looking at Thulani. She slowly stood and glided over to Thulani. Putting a hand on each of her upper arms, she leaned in and gave Thulani a peck on each cheek. Backing up, she looked Thulani up and down. Turning her head, she released her and repeated the action with Thasthaheer. Then she motioned to the two of them to join her and Tassos. Again nervous, Thulani sat cross legged on a plush pillow. Thasthaheer casually seated himself next to her.

“Amit, you’ve been gone for Some Time... fooling around?”

Tassos tsked. “Now, now, Amil, you know he has always liked his privacy.”

”Hm, well anyways it’s good to see you. Sometimes I forget you Exist, you are gone so Long,” Amil leaned back in her seat.

“But I’m always around you,” He said somewhat confusingly. He continued warmly, “It’s good to see you both, as well.”

Tassos asked, “Amaran, tell us what you and Albadawi have been up to?”


Thasthaheer shrugged, “Nothing, really. We exist quietly.”

“He’s been showing me around Elsewhere. It’s been quite exciting... for me,” Thulani ended, unsure if she should have spoken.

Tassos brightened up, “Oh, how delightful. And, tell us, how does it compare to being Alive?”

“Oh, uh it’s different... but the same... I’m still getting used to some things. For example, how this small temple is so Big on the inside.”

Tassos smiled kindly. “How interesting. What do you think about Anadi?”

”We haven’t been to visit yet; you know how he can be,” Thasthaheer commented lightly.

Amil snorted, but said nothing. Tassos quickly said, “Oh, well, he’s a bit... difficult, but we love him all the same. Anyways, would you like a tour of the library, Albadawi?”

Amil tilted her head towards Thasthaheer. He turned to Thulani, saying, “It’s quite lovely, why don’t you go with Tassos? Amil and I have a couple things to talk about.”

Nodding, Thulani smiled at Tassos. The two of them linked arms and wandered into the enormous library.

***

Thulani reclined on the poolside chaise lounge. It was hot here, but a pleasant hot; the kind that seeped into you and warmed your spirit. She fiddled with her hands; it was strange to not have to sustain a body by eating anymore. She missed it, surprisingly. Bored, she decided to slip into the cool water. A refreshing dip would be nice.

“Thulani.”

She jumped; Thasthaheer had been gone for a little bit of time, and she didn’t know yet he’d returned.

“Sorry. I’m back.”

Turning to him, she grinned, “Thanks for the heads up.”

He shrugged. He seemed overly serious.

“What’s wrong?” Her grin turned to a frown.

“Oh, nothing. Just family drama.” He abruptly jumped into the pool. Confused, she went to sit at its edge. Dipping her lower legs into the water, she waited for him to surface. Since he didn’t need to breathe, it could be any amount of time. Eventually he came up. “Oh. I didn’t know you were waiting for me.”



”Tell me of our family drama.”

“Ah. It’s nothing...”

“Why won’t you tell me?” Thulani grew cross.

“My Albadawi, don’t feel that way... I just don’t want to worry you. It’s just an old... disagreement that sometimes comes back around. It’s nothing I can’t handle; it’s just that the conflict bothers me.”

Softening, she slipped into the water and floated over to him. Embracing him, she kissed his cheek. “Is this disagreement with Anadi?”

“Oh, no. He is just very... selective about who he entertains,” Thasthaheer wrapped his arms around her. Wading over to the edge of the pool, he leaned his back against it. “Anyways, I need to relax. Let’s go Home?”

Thulani shrugged, unenthusiastic. Her original body had been so old it had turned to dust upon her exiting it at the Door. Thasthaheer had made her a replacement, but it wasn't quite the same. It felt... itchy. But, she wanted Thasthaheer to be able to relax, so she agreed.

“We won’t stay long; I just want a little time to just be with you.” Thasthaheer kissed her cheek. “Hm? Is that okay?”

She smiled, “Yes, I understand... I’m ready to leave when you are.” He pulled her close. “In a moment.”

***

Amil kissed both cheeks and said kindly, “It was good to meet. We will see you again, even if after Some Time?”



She nodded as Thasthaheer lightly complained about Amil invading their privacy.

Tassos slipped her arms around Thulani. Hugging her, she commented, “Loved meeting you. Thanks for taking care of our Amit.”

Smiling, Thulani hugged her back. Finally she and Thasthaheer made their way out of the temple and into the jungle. He took her hand to lead her Home. It would be a bit of a walk, but having no temporal body meant it would be a pleasant stroll. Thasthaheer began chatting with her about small talk, wrapping his strong arm around her waist as the two went along.

To read on, https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H7W4GFRK?ref=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cso_cp_apin_dp_H0KWMN7AXPXBKWSRDX1Y&ref_=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cso_cp_apin_dp_H0KWMN7AXPXBKWSRDX1Y&social_share=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cso_cp_apin_dp_H0KWMN7AXPXBKWSRDX1Y&bestFormat=true