Fluff, Kinda Hurt/Comfort (?), INSPIRED by Dialogue Prompt (60.); This started as just a blurb and grew from there? I live for pining sort of stuff, though I donât know if this really applies in this scenario.
Warnings: VERY brief mention of childhood abuse/neglect
For as long as you can remember, youâve always hated the stars. Â People liked to talk about how beautiful they seemed, shimmering up there, hanging like far-off dreams in a boundless sky. Â Where most saw dreams, though, you saw broken glassâglass shimmered too, after all. Â Smashed beer bottles splayed out over dark kitchen tile, waiting to be scooped up by tiny hands. A window, shattered in anger. Shards of mirror reflecting back the image of a child, trembling, whimpering, pleading with the figure that looms over them, even though they know their tears will earn them no mercy.
Not all people think the stars are all that special. Â Just like not all childhoods are full of love and not all parents are the patient pillar of strengths they should be.
Todoroki understood the latter of those truths. Â Implicitly. Â Even if he didnât share your distaste for those swirling balls of gas littering the night sky, he at least knew what it meant to be afraid, and not just in a childish sort of way. Â He understood the fear that lingered, even in the absence of immediate dangerâthe nightmares that endured long after the monsters, once terrifying, shrank back into mere humans.
Maybe thatâs why he was so quick to answer your callsâto meet you anytime, anyplace, no matter how late it was or how absolutely irrational your concerns sounded. Â He was your tether, the only person that could keep you grounded during your bouts of rage, paranoia, and worry. Â Even in the moments when he doesnât have words to calm youâwhen all he can offer is his presenceâjust being near him is enough. Â For the longest time, you arenât sure why that is. Â Then, as your frantic I need your helpâs shift into calmer, more deliberate I want to see youâs, you begin to understand. Â The way he makes your neck heat up, your chest tighten, your mind go fuzzyâit proves the one thing you already know. Â
You are hopelessly and helplessly in love with Shoto Todoroki.
Needless to say, when he calls you one night asking to meet at a park about a block away from your apartment building, you donât hesitate. Â You arrive and find him perched precariously on the back of a bench (although he makes balancing seem so easy), chin tilted upward, hyper-focused eyes fixed on the expanse of sky above. Â Taking your place at his side is a matter of habit.
âYou came.â Â He mutters as he finally glances down at you, his trance broken by the harsh thud of your bag hitting the ground.
âOf course I did. Â Why wouldnât I?â
Todoroki shrugs. Â âItâs late.â
âIt is.â Â You affirm, swinging your legs out far in front of you, idly watching as specks of dirt crumble off their soles. Â âSo?â
âYou have work tomorrow.â
âAnd you still came.â
A gust of wind blows through the park, disturbing the treetops sending a wave of cold down your spine. Â Youâre not positive that Todoroki notices your shivering, but the way he lowers himself down from his perch, scooching in close and radiating a familiar sort of warmth, makes you assume. Â
âThanks.â Â You sigh, your insides buzzing with a pleasant warmness. Â You suspect his quirk is only partly to blame for that. Â âI came because you called, and I know youâd show if I needed you to. Â Now, wanna tell me whatâs up?â
Todoroki stares at you, jaw cocked to the side, mismatched eyes reflecting back light from one of the lamps lining the dusty walkway. Â He looks as though heâs on the cusp of saying somethingâanswering your questionâbut then heâs turning his face upward again. Â
âShoto? Â What, were you just in a stargazing sort of mood or something?â
âIf I said yes?â Â He asks, tilting his head against the seatback. Â âIf I said I wanted to sit out here and stare at the sky for a while?â
You exhale. Â âIâd ask why you called me.â
âI donât know.  I justââ  He shuts his eyes tight like heâs trying to read imaginary words tattooed on the inside of his eyelids.  âI saw the stars and thought about youâŚgot this sudden urge to see you.â  He sighs.  âI didnât mean to make it seem like some sort of emergency.  Sorry.â
Thought of you. Â Heâd been thinking about you.
Thereâs quiet for a while. Â Usually, silences with Todoroki were easyâthoughtful moments were just a natural byproduct of conversation. Â This one, however, is different. Â Tense. Â Apologetic. Â Awkward. Â You hate it, but youâre not exactly sure how to make it disappear.
So you speakâsay the first thing that pops into your head, even though it might be opening a door you might not be able to close.
âSee, I think of you when I see the sun. Â You know Iâm not a huge fan of the stars.â
Todorokiâs eyes snap open and he turns to face you with a narrowed gaze and an upturned brow.
Your mouth hangs open for a second before you promptly yank it shut, resisting the urge to burst out into laughter as you do. Â For someone so smart, Todoroki was dense.
âWell, yeah, I mean technically. Â But itâs different too. Â The sun isnât just some stupid thing that sits in the sky and looks pretty. Â It does somethingâkeeps us alive and warm and healthy. Â The stars were only ever good for navigation or some crap like that, and now we have computers to do that for us.â Â When he scoffs, you roll your eyes, but continue anyway. Â âHell, you canât even see them up there half the time; The lights in the city drown them out. Â But it doesnât matter where you are or what else is happening around you-you always know the sun is there. Â Even if itâs hidden behind a cloud or something, you can just feel it shining down on you.
âThe sun is dependable and consistent,â you breathe shakily, âJust like you.  Maybe thatâs why I like yââ  You catch yourself midword.  âItâŚso much.â
To his credit, Todoroki doesnât so much as flinch at your admission. Â Then again, you wouldnât be surprised if he hadnât even recognized it for what it was, hadnât realized that you were pouring your heart out for him in the form of a hastily-composed metaphor. Â You watch him inhale, then exhaleâstudy the way he runs slim fingers through his hairâsearching for a tremble, a twitch, any gesture that might betray his composed demeanor.
Before you manage to find anything, heâs speaking again, mumbling words you can barely hear over the sound of your own breathing.
âThe sun is a star. Â It doesnât matter what it does or when it comes out, thatâs just what it is.â
You groan. Â âShoto, if Iâd known I was in for a lecture on celestial bodies I wouldâveâ.â
âYou think about me too, then?â  Todoroki cuts you off with a question that saps the air from your lungs.  When you just sit there, eyes the size of a dinner plate and voice unanswering, he presses on.  âIf you do, is it just when you see the sun?â  He looks away suddenly, one hand drifting down to the edge of the bench, fingers curling so tightly around it that they go white.  âOrâŚmore often?â
You deliberate for a momentâdebate the weight of your sentences, how they might change everything. Â You consider playing it all off as nothing more than âpicking the wrong phrase.â Â Everyone thinks about someone sometimes, after all. Â Why make it into a big thing? Â Something that could completely change the good thing you had going on now?
Then again, it certainly sounded like Todoroki liked you.  And not just in a âcall-you-up-every-so-oftenâ kind of way.  No, this was more of an âI-saw-the-stars-and-realized-I-needed-to-be-with-you-foreverâ sort of situation (if you were the one making the judgment), and this opportunity seems too good to let pass you by.  Besides, not all change has to be a bad thing.
âMore often.â Â You confess, feeling a wave of heat surge outward from your chest as you do.
âAnd not just when you need to talk?â
Silence returns, but itâs brief. Â Todoroki breaks it.
âWhat do you think about.â
You shake your head, chewing on the inside of your cheek and trying to choke down any stuttering. Â âIs this a game of twenty questions or something?â
âI want to know. Â What do you imagine when you think about me?â
Your heart pounds angrily against the inside of your chest, so loud you have to wonder if he can hear it too. Â Â
âMy god, Shoto, donât make me say it out loud.â
The rise and fall of Todorokiâs shoulders is anything but steady. Â Still, his voice sounds firm enough when he speaks again.
âThen Iâll go first.â You think you see a twinge of pink creep up his neck. âBut I donât think I want to say it out loud either.â
He moves slowly, but everything seems like it happens so fast. Â His hand risesâreleases itâs vice grip on the bench and drifts upward. Â Before you know whatâs happening, icy fingertips are tracing the line of your jaw, making every part of you tingle. Â Thereâs no concealing the shudder that courses through you when his nails brush over the edge of your ear.
Everything feels so right.
You nod slowly, leaning into his touch. Â Todoroki shuffles along the bench, bringing himself closer. Â Then he leans in and you can feel his breath across your nose, your cheeks, your lips. Â
âAnd this?â Â Itâs barely a whisper. Â Hesitant.
âYes.â Â You breathe, aching. Â Your tongue darts out to wet your impatient lips.
The bench creaks. Â Your eyes flutter shut and a nose bumps against yours, clumsy, but you barely have time to notice. Â Less than a second later, Todorokiâs warm mouth is pressed against yours and you feel as though youâve ascended; Thereâs humming in your ears, pinpricks stretching across your arms and back, a fuzzy sort of high buzzing in your skull.
You donât mean to giggle when he pulls back and just looks at you. Â Itâs just the first sound that crawls up from your throat, nervous and excited and giddy all at once. Â You throw a hand over your lips and shove your face into his shoulder, desperate to hide the less-than-subtle flush splayed across every inch of your skin. Â He doesnât say anything, but youâre almost certain you can hear the heavy beating of his heart through his coat, rapid and every bit as erratic as your own.
For the first time in your life, youâre thankful for the stars. Â Because as useless as they usually were, at least theyâd led you to him.
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