coolgirls city

tending to my pet anarchists. going into their solarpunk themed enclosure and spreading packaged medicine around in bushes for them to naturally gather. refilling their stock of grain discreetly so they think it all comes from their garden sized wheat field. I spot one and she hisses at me and calls me an authoritarian tankie but i make cooing noises and offer zines as treats and she lets me pet her

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

It's not like I like you or anything! P-Pendejo!

Do you remember the episode of Spongebob where he's training gary for the snail race and does a coach persona + calls gary a girl and has an aside where he's like "I called you a lady to demean you 🤓" and right after he says that it cuts to sandy and she somehow telepathically feels that Spongebob just did something misogynistic and us like I feel like I need to kick Spongebobs ass for some reason. And then she appears just at the end of the episode to kick his ass.

patrick is short for Patricide and squidward is short for Squealing Edward and spongebob is short because he has little legs

got a sweater order (thank you!!) but i apparently owe stripe $90 so it basically ate it. aaauuhghh. still need some help, just enough to last me like a week or two!!

supporting his lower back and neck so he can sit up like a newborn baby

Holy fuck

If you live on the west coast of the United States, fire season is coming and this is vital.

We’ve been using one, and they’re great. Might try to make the double filter version this year.

I’ve personally used both the flat single-filter version AND the triangular two-filter version, and based on subjective personal experience I would argue that the benefits from the second filter, both in terms of airflow and filtration, are absolutely worth it. If you need a makeshift air filter and you have two filters to work with, build the triangle (if not the box, i have no idea how good that one works but based on the info here i presume it’s a fair bit better.)