Confuddler

Random stinging pain in my neck 👀

atacked by my #MindWasp

Can you put those things on a leash please

Yeah. a really Long one so they can still get u tho

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

I hope my spider fucking book will hold universal appeal

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

if Candice has a picture phone why did she never just take a photo of what phineas and ferb were doing and text it to her mom

if she did this doofenshmirtz would just be like you see perry the platypus i sold my old computer at the pawn shop but i forgot to delete all those embarrassing photos from the christmas party, which is why i’ve invented the pixel-replacinator! and then as candace is going to text her mom the photo the phone gets hit with the beam and she looks down and she’s just texted her mom a photo of doofenshmirtz in a sexy elf costume or smth. candace can never fucking win the universe bends to facilitate her psychological torment

disney channel heritage post

I do love how in the immeasurable amount of traction this post gained, for reasons that still elude me, nobody pointed out that it was six in the morning when I finished the code.

I hate when people say misandry isn't real. What else do you call what I do all day

"Tattoos are becoming unpopular", "piercings are unpopular again", "keep your hair natural never dye it again, it's the trend now" literally fuck off I know what y'all are doing