Jude Valvessori @judeval - Tumblr Blog

depression is wild.

I think I need to be medicated.

#mental health #depression #judetalks #yeah I defo need to be medicated #this shit sucks

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studying for the LSATs is crazy because one minute I'm getting a 168 on a practice exam (a pretty good score) and the next I'm getting 7/12 on a drill

#studying #shitposting #LSATs #law school

I NEEEEEEEEED the Sharks to do some kind of PR/social media training thing where they get taught rugby (something I would be happy to do btw hit me up) just so that I can see them all in tiny little baby rugby shorts cutting tight af around their massive thighs and asses.

Liiiiiiiiiiiike, for science 'n shit.

#like never mind that they'd all be backs #except like a couple who could maybe lock or flank effectively #Alex Wennberg 9 I'm telling you #Tyler Toffoli at hook maybe but tbh they're all backs #san jose sharks #san jose hockey #guys please

Seen two pics of NTDP era BC line (I think two halves of the same photo where everyone but Will Vote is shirtless) and everyone's thirsting (which I have no interest in policing let me be clear) but what I do what to say is: some of these mfs do not look healthy.

Like I get that hockey players often lean out during the season and visible abs is a healthy state for many of them (which as a rugby player is a hugely foreign concept) but like, some of them I can see wayyyyyy too many rib bones. There's already so many criticisms of the NTDP out there, but this just really got to me; these were teenagers and they look a little like starved dogs.

#hockey #nhl #usntdp #bc line #idk if I should tag this as ed #cause idk if it's forced or not #either way it's not healthy and they shouldn't have been looking like this as teenagers

your sidmack fics are fantastic i'm unwell

Shoutout this person because one of my sidmack fics just got updated !! Check out chap 4 of A Kept Man on AO3 y’all

#hockey rpf #sidmack

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heartbeatline

cant talk here pls email me

#wow relativity is fucking crazy

judeval

smitty x voter is funny because like, I imagine that they call each other voter and smitty exclusively (like in bed, in place of names, and don't even use pet names, just smitty and voter) and then one day someone reminds them: hey, you're both named will.

and they're like, what?? what are you talking about? we don't have the same name, that's silly.

judeval

Back on my smitty x voter bullshit because someone pointed out that will vote always gets centre stage when he’s tagged in WSH’s posts and no one else ever does, and this is fun for me.

Because like, I’m imagining childhood/USNTDP sweethearts that made it out of that hell together and still managed to be in love. Then they made it through BC, and smitty going to the show a year before everyone anticipated, and the “WillMack” bullshit (bullshit because he never wants anyone else and he never will thank you very much) and are still together.

And I think everyone is like, dude, smitty, you’re like, so hot and could get anyone you want my guy. And smitty just bats his little lashes and is like, yes but he fucks me through the mattress and pays for all our dates so I’m keeping him.

I like to imagine will vote (again NTDP and BC hockey graduate) becoming like, will’s boring accountant trophy husband that he loves sooooooo fucking much.

#will smith hockey #will smith x will vote #because it’s fun guys #voter x smitty #idk what he’s studying but the accountant is canon to me #hockey RPF

judeval

tryna kick a depressive episode (mostly because it's inconvenient for my life at the moment) so hopefully I'll get something up on the archive by the time I go to bed to tonight.

judeval

didn't actually get anything out but wrote over a thousand words of a Sidmack fic that's been haunting me for (maybe?) more than a month.

#fanfic author #shitposting #hockey rpf #writing #sidmack

tryna kick a depressive episode (mostly because it's inconvenient for my life at the moment) so hopefully I'll get something up on the archive by the time I go to bed to tonight.

#shitposting #fanfic author #writing #hockey rpf #iMack #I'm making that a tag istg #ivar stenberg x macklin celebrini #or maybe sidmack #I can't be sure

fleurdeframboise

gabe looking sad as hell in this picture like 😭

celebrating the 4th like he isn’t from SHERBROOKE

#ik he lived in illinois like most of his life but still #your last name is PERREAULT #your dads name is YANIC #you were born in SHERBROOKE QB 😭#whenever i see that vid of him speaking queb french with the craziest frat american accent omg #ik his ass did not celebrate canada day #<- THIS #Sorry Gabe Perreault but I yearn for you to embrace canadianna #Like Sherbrooke is beautiful the Appalachians are beautiful and the Cape has nothing on the 1000 islands #gay parole we could have beatiful bilingual babies with crazy brown doe eyes

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Sneak pic of my iMack Yuri fic (where SidCroz is also a woman because fuck it we ball).

#macklin celebrini #ivar stenberg #san jose sharks #hockey rpf #sidney crosby #yuri #ao3 #fanfiction

Nothing makes me excited to turn 20 like talking to my teenage sister.

#fuck teenagers #not in an ageist way; I just can't fucking deal with this girl sometimes #like I love her but GODDAMN #shitposting

puckwanger

#I've decided that in some way this was dedicated to my friend and i #who call him 'the horse' due to him being weird and skittish but freakishly athletic #also because yeah; he keeps calling himself that #sidney crosby #sc87 #pittsburgh penguins #team canada hockey #but for real shoutout this art is fucking dope

guys the Collin Graf situation is making me scaredy I can't lie. can we sign that man pls, I love him so much.

(Also last time I posted about someone's contract they got renewed, shoutout big sexy)

#hockey #Collin graf #San Jose sharks #nhl #guys contracts pls #we need him so bad we have no pk #and he's lowkey dope on the pk

thinking about the 2026 olympics and Sidnate and the song Barrett's Privateers, which if you're uneducated in the way of eastern Canadian sea shanties has the baller chorus of "I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold/we'd fire no guns, shed no tears/now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier/the last of Barrett's privateers"

And now we need to win in 2030 and Sid needs to fucking be there or I don't know what I'll fucking do.

#men's ice hockey #team canada hockey #sidney crosby #god I fucking love being canadian #even if it sometimes makes me think of sad shit like this

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ticklefighthockey

wait THATS Sidney Crosby??? No wonder you like him he’s so hot! I thought all hockey players were supposed to be ugly where does he get off looking so cute

he’s the highly favored child of god

judeval

yeah if you're new to hockey he is just that guy

#so lickable #so so lickable #sidney crosby

quietconspiracy

“He tops” “No he tops”

have y’all considered the secret third thing of it being switch4switch 🫩

#you know what y'all this ones on me #I thought the 3rd thing was gonna be bottom4bottom which a double-ended dildo and a dream #my bad y'all #I will be less narrow minded #switch4switch justice #hrpf #hockey rpf #willmack

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Jude Valvessori