damned for all time

Ha, did you know that this guy used to be THE coolest? Shit, don’t let him see me talking like this at this sorry point in the whole saga, but I have so many good memories with him. Probably more than I’ve ever had with anyone else. Well. Definitely, come to think of it. There hasn’t exactly been a surplus of people treating me kindly in the run-up to getting in with this lot. Pre-Twelve. BJC. Before Jesus Christ. (Ha. That should be a thing. I think a lot of us here have experienced that particular divide in life). I think I…. yelled at him the first time we met? He’s out here preaching on the street about the revolution and I gotta say, I was intrigued right away. But I probably had to call him out on something or other he said, you know me. But he just jumped right into this dialogue with me and ENGAGED and he even THANKED me afterwards for arguing with him and ridiculously clingy me who would never admit to being so (whoops. Clingy, fighty, trust issues. What a potent cocktail of ‘run for your life, handsome stranger’) was like ‘uh wow, you’re the best, we’re best friends now’ and the wild thing is he was totally on board with that? Wild. Truly. But like. It wasn’t lies when I always said I admired him. I’ve never seen anyone command a crowd the way he does, or win people over just by like… being there and talking and having this weird charisma that he does. And his ideals are, first and foremost, radical and noble and incredible. That’s why I’m here, after all. Listen, escaping from armed riot police shouldn’t be the most fun experience in the world, by all rights, but this one time JC and I were… ahem, resisting arrest, and Peter somehow got this awesome photo of us, and after the whole thing was over with a bit of strategic smoke (thanks, Simon), we ran and ran and just couldn’t stop laughing and grinning at each other because it was exhilarating and we were pissing off important people and that seemed like a GOOD thing at the time and damn, the whole thing was taking off and we were making a DIFFERENCE - I don’t know. We had so many of those little moments where we looked at each other and connected and really were in sync and in the whole chaotic mess together even though we would argue incessantly sometimes for what felt like the fun of it - I’ve never had a connection with another person like that. I’ve never been smiled at in the way he smiles at me. Smiled. Used to. That smile was deeply worrying in its star power at the same time as being able to melt the most stone-cold surly motherfucker with sheer sincerity at 50 paces. That little shit.

Uh. Celebrity is a weird concept to think about. It’s weird when you’re hanging around with the guy who’s arguably the biggest celebrity with the youth in the country right now.

Like. JC is definitely a celebrity right now through all our social media and stuff so does that make us celebrities too in a way? Weird.

Not that I have a crush on him. Just thinking about him as an example.