Logarithmically Spiraling

I went to whole foods this week. We needed granola, bananas and almond butter. I was determined to only buy those items. I would not get lured into buying any of the free sample items, produce on sale or fabulous looking cheeses or desserts. I would be strong, focused and frugal. I stayed away from samples of chips. I didn't look at the guacamole. I raced past beautiful berries on sale. I didn't sniff the scented soaps, lotions or essential oils and turned my head away from the lady giving out sips of juice. I nearly lost it walking past the chocolates, but I didn't give in. I had my 3 items in my basket and no more. I was so proud of myself. I knew the small candies and homemade granola bars at the checkout would prove no match for my will power of steel! I was focussed! I was amazing! At the checkout, they had bottles of wine on sale, marked down several dollars from the original price. I was so proud of myself! What better reward for avoiding impulse purchases than a bottle wine?

The most wonderful part (only good part, really) about being sick at New Years is that you don't have start New Years' Resolutions immediately. You can make them and then let them settle in for a while, before you actually have to doing anything differently in your life. It's like ordering clothes online with a credit card. You can order the pieces you think you want. Then try them on and make a decision to keep them and pay for them (eventually) or send them back and wonder why you ordered them to begin with. All with very little inconvenience. By the way, combining the flu and online shopping wasn't as perfect a way to simplify and complete wardrobe as I thought it would be.

Does this look like a zombie who is foaming at the mouth? Foam is hard to draw.

I hadn’t seen my glasses that day; I had worn contacts.

Or, at least, I shall try to do all of this in front of Baby.

I figured out to get better foam for my tea by using hotter water and whisking it a bit more vigorously. If my experiment goes well, I may look into getting a proper matcha whisk.

Day 3 didn’t start out very well. I was very emotional all day. Emotional isn’t the word. I was very prone to negative emotions, with sadness and melancholy in particular. I cried after watching Netflix. I cried at almost every internet article I read, even the one about a couple fixing up an old house. I couldn’t believe that the house had been abandoned for all those years and left to ruin. It was a very, happy before and after story that featured a handful of words and lots of photos. It should have made me tear up. In theory I should start menstruating any day now, so my hormones may be effecting my matcha experiment. I may not be able to see or feel a difference until next week. Work was terrible as once again, but this may have been influence by negative emotions too. Boss invited Boss’s friend/my coworker out to lunch. This was a birthday lunch for a woman who works at a different location of our office. I had spoken this woman earlier that morning and wished her a Happy Birthday. I visit the other office twice a week and so I know her a little. I used to occasionally go out to lunch with Boss and the people from that location as I was considered sort of part of that office too. Not being included on this lunch was another reminder of my quiet, unacknowledged demotion. I keep wondering if I should gather up the courage to ask another coworker if my demotion is real or official. She is slightly above me in the hierarchy and does some work directly with HR, so she would probably know. She is also a bit of a gossip who thinks she is better at secret keeping that experience would suggest. However, lately she has become best friends with Boss’s friend/my coworker. They are both talkative, religious, overly familiar with complete strangers… I’m not sure what sort of answers she would give me or how I would deal with them. Right now, I’m planning on finding a new job (I plan on starting to look for a new job… um… soonish?) Maybe, I’ll ask her or Boss directly about whether I was demoted and why after I turn in my resignation. Boss’s friend/my coworker did not return to our office after her lunch. I haven’t bothered doing the math, I feel certain that she takes time away from work without actually putting in leave for it. Boss is pretty nice about looking the other way if we are 5 minutes late here or leave 5 minutes early there as long as he knows about it beforehand. Boss’s friend/my coworker takes hours, days even. Fortunately, I spent some quality time with Baby after work and had dinner with a friend, so the day ended well.

Day 2 started out very energetic and productive. But, it was Monday morning and I usually still have some optimism that my job won’t be awful and dull on Monday mornings; I am usually wrong. I spent the morning wondering if the tea or its placebo effect was making me more focused and diligent. Then, my busy productive morning dwindled to an idle and numb afternoon. I was reminded that my job is slow and that actual work here is never appreciated. Boss’s friend/my coworker spent the afternoon laughing and chatty with the boss in his office. The most exciting bits of the day happened at home and I was not involved. My mom lost her car keys and feared she would not make it to her Monday morning doctor’s appointment. Hubs saved the day. He took the day off from work (which he needed) and drove my mom and Baby to the doctor where he found my mom’s car keys inside the diaper bag. He spent the afternoon relaxing and visiting his dad. I am so happy that I have finally paid back all of my borrowed leave time and can start acquiring days off again. I had to borrow some leave time to cover my maternity leave. I still can’t believe that this country doesn’t have paid baby leave as guaranteed worker right.

Baby approves of matcha. Or at least she loves the canister.

I tried harder to stay sane and on task this week. Did the tea help?

Matcha Tea. I have heard it boosts mood and cures cancer (?). Okay, I don't remember exactly, but I am pretty sure that fabulous magical things will happen if I drink it.

Halloween is next week. It will be Baby's first Halloween and I can already tell that we will need backup. I may have to call in her Fairy Godmothers. The trouble is that if the doorbell rings (and it will), the dogs bark and run to the door. At the same time Baby will either crawl toward the door if she is happy to be in the floor, or cry loudly if she is unhappy to be in the floor, or cry loudly while crawling toward the door if she is very unhappy about being in the floor and wants to be picked up. So, everyone the doorbell rings I have to grab both dogs and hold them back while holding Baby and open the door and open the screen door (which opens outwards, confusing 90% of the kids who come by) and give out candy. I am about five hands short. Six hands short counting the one that should be holding the drink.

Addicted to Fitbit. I am completely addicted to my Fitbit. I check it almost obsessively throughout the day. Monday and Tuesday, I had over 19,000 steps. Today, I will stop at nothing to obtain another 19,000 steps.

I can do some of these at work.

There’s the motivation to keep exercising and stretching for a few more days. This is also a good reason not to watch Netflix on my cell phone while on the treadmill.