my journey through addiction

Wyd after hitting this?

Who would win?

I've been super into cars, like most things in my life as an addict I overdo everything. And this new car obsession thing is no different. I eat sleep and play cars. I just bought a daily driver, and am saving for a fun project car. Something to work on and have fun with. Anyway I'm still clean and doing well. Having thoughts of leaving my current job to fit my car obsession, possibly becoming a mechanic or something. I'm not sure yet.

I just did this hour long guided meditation on meeting with your higher self. What a journey. Basically I walked through a forested path, took the left path in the split which was brighter and more appealing than the right. Walked through a flowered meadow through lavader fields and arrived at a huge old oak tree. On the old oak I found a door which led into the tree. There I found a room with bookshelves, vials, Nic-knacks, and a round table. All the furniture was from the oak tree, carved out and stationed into the room. Finally I sat at a table and had a discussion. I am doing well, progressing rapidly and on the correct path. I need to begin my suboxone taper and get off of them so our bond can grow. My finances, living situation, and newly purchased vehicle will be taken care of. I didn't get an answer or at least one I could comprehend on my future as far as schooling and my career is concerned, however I believe that is for a later discussion once I meet the suboxone tapering request. I've meditated before, but never like this. I never got responses. I finally feel like a bond is being made and I have no worries in life at the moment.

I think I'm ready to go back to school. I've always loved hair. I just can't decide between cosmetology school for my passion, or computers for the money. I'm good with computers, and I was the barber in jail. I don't know what to do and would appreciate your input.

My #volkswagen

You can stop using. I KNOW it feels like it's useless. Why bother. That indescribable feeling of not being able to just stop. When I think back to when I was using, it scares me now. There's forces greater than us. I could not stop using heroin. I was beaten down and decided it was time. Suffer through those withdrawals. Take medicine to help with it. Do whatever you have to do to get off it. When you are done withdrawaling become a better person. Do something for somebody else. Help out. You are good. You are strong. You can do whatever you want. It's already happened you just have to claim it.

Who wants to help our kind still stuck in the grips of addiction? Still struggling, slowly dying each passing day. We all know the stigma that follows, ignorant people stating that addiction isn't a disease, that it is a choice. We face ridicule and judgement, so called normal people looking down at us who could never understand what we feel or have been through. I want to start a nonprofit organization dedicated to raising awareness to addiction, helping addicts get into treatment and stay in treatment. And preventative measures to stop it before it can happen. I hate fear tactics but the numbers are astounding, only 10% of addicts suffering get treatment each year. Because of big pharma it costs us addicts an arm and a leg to get into treatment, and then once finished the remaining limbs to stay in treatment, be it a halfway house etc. We have very few paths to take as far as treatment goes, basically we have the anonymous' I propose we create new outlets following same basic principles and further measures, that peak the interests in addicts such as gym groups or art programs based on and specially designed to help those recover. What were doing now is NOT WORKING. I've been through loads of out patient programs. Rehabs. Halfway houses. None worked, though they did help we need to snowball of these programs, and make them enjoyable. Engaging. Make it so addicts WANT to go to these things. I've always felt they were chores. Duties I must attend. I need help, feedback, partners to bounce ideas back and forth. I need planning committees, volunteers, any addict who wants to help, please get in contact with me and let's change some lives.