what d’you want? some dick?
pairing: namjoon x reader
genre: i have no idea. fluff? friends to lovers, but they’re hella oblivious, best friends au
warnings: conversations about dick, some titty loving
a/n: this drabble was written during breaks at work, but i hope it’s still worth reading. oh, and of course i had to name the fic that way, i love vines
Staring at the ceiling, Namjoon racks his brain for another one of his assets. He did already mention his astounding intelligence (he used that exact phrase, by the way), his nice hair and his adorable dimples. You’d remind him of his toned legs, but this is a competition and you don’t like losing. He finally shrugs, eyes back on you. ‘Big dick.’
You almost choke on your spit as Yeri ooh’s from the other side of the room.
‘That’s not fair. It doesn’t count,’ you conquer, feeling your cheeks warm up.
‘How so?’ Namjoon asks, brows furrowed. Obviously, he likes winning, too. ‘It’s common knowledge that big is good.’
‘It depends,’ Yeri chimes in. ‘By the way, is it really big, or are you just grasping at straws here?’
‘Stop right here,’ you interrupt your best guy friend so he wouldn’t continue talking about his thing. ‘We can’t compare this stuff, so it doesn’t count anyway. It’s not about that.’
‘You could say you have…’ Namjoon vaguely gestures at your upper body, glancing down at your chest. ‘They’re, um…’
It’s not that you don’t want to hear what he has to say about them, but you’re definitely too self-conscious for that shit. So you hastily wrap your arms around your body to block the view. ‘Stop staring!’
‘I’m not staring. I’m just saying, you know…’
You scowl at him, glaring as if he has just insulted your cat. ‘Just stop talking.’
When you started the conversation about your advantages when it comes to dating people, you didn’t think the conversation would go there. Why would you think it would go there? You’re not experienced and you’re not even aware of your merits in that particular subject.
‘Yeah, everyone knows Y/N has awesome boobs to squish, but there’s no way of knowing about the size of your dick,’ Yeri narrates her thoughts passionately as if she was a professor discussing a pressing subject during a lecture. ‘You never fucked anyone in our friend circle, so no one has said about it anything.’ By the time she finishes, she looks almost offended.
You’re still feeling as though the air in the room has gotten 15 degrees warmer.
‘I hate drama,’ Namjoon says. ‘Friends are friends, y’know. When you start fucking around there’s always some drama lurking around the corner. It’s inevitable.’
You barely manage to stop the pout that was threatening to come to your lips. He is right of course, but hearing him say it definitely had an effect on you. And a negative one at that. Clearly, he was against dating one’s friends.
‘True true,’ Yeri nods like a horse.
‘I don’t wanna lose, though,’ the boy, comfortably seated in the armchair, states.
You exhale dramatically. ‘Ugh, who cares. It’s silly anyway. Let’s just order a pizza or something.’
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