Blue Chinchilla

i don't know where else to post this. they just wouldn't understand

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Everytime my bus comes and I still have a little cigarette left, I always put it out and place it on the bus stop. It might seem weird but I've been that person desperate for a smoke, so instead of flicking it into the street to be smashed I leave it for someone who probably could really use a smoke... It's the little things that add up

The hero this town needs

I wish I knew the words to express the way I feel. Looking in your eyes yet I still wonder if you're real You say I make you nervous, that I give you butterflies But is it me that sets you free or is it my disguise I wonder....

Jon Morris

It's been a while... I've found other outlets. Nothing seems to be the same though. The negativity still creeps in and little by little fills the bucket until it overflows causing a breakdown. Here lately it's been pretty calm though. I've been venting to my brother lately so it hasn't spilled over. The thing is that it's usually while on coke or rolls. Then the next day it's like it never happened.. I don't get it.. Why do I have to be on drugs to open up. Its the only time I feel like I don't care what people think of me. I'm starting to think I have a problem. I really hate how much I love coke now.. My nose can't take that kind of abuse and I can't stand the taste but the euphoria is unlike anything I've felt in years. I can barely afford it though... Makes me glad I'm not rich though cause I'd probably be dead by now.. Oh well, safe for another night.

I’m getting about fed up with all these ignorant #shootyourlocalheroindealer posts on Facebook and Twitter. First of killing is wrong in ANY situation. To kill your local heroin dealer would be just as atrocious as selling the person the heroin in the first place. The dealer is not the problem, they are just entrepreneurs trying to make a quick buck. I mean, no one is screaming to shoot your local gas station attendant because he sells cigarettes. Or to shoot your local bartender for serving alcohol. Both of which add up to more deaths per year than heroin. If you really feel that you must kill the people responsible for this heroin epidemic, then shoot your local pharmaceutical rep. They’re the real criminals here. It happens to hundreds of people a day. They go to the hospital for pain, whether it happened in an accident or just old age, the doctor than prescribes them hardcore, very addictive, pain pills. Once the prescription runs out the patient can’t get anymore, but the opiate addiction is still there. So they then take to the street to buy illegal prescriptions but find that heroin is much cheaper and easier to obtain. So don’t balm your local heroin dealer for the problem that your doctor prescribed. If you really feel compelled to help, fund addiction treatment centers. But don’t you dare act like the problem is the dealer when your local doctor is just as much to blame.

I felt a part of me die last night. I felt a part of me devoured by the very dragon I was chasing. I felt the tugging of flesh and soul at the back of my neck. I felt the icy cold water of misery come up to the bottom of my lip. I felt the fear inside as I struggled to breath. I felt a part of me slip away. Only time will tell if it was a good part of bad. All I know is when it was all said and done, I had survived. I met my dragon face to face, now he is by my side. Walking adjacent to me as I move forward. I only hope I've earned his respect, cause he surly has earned mine.

You want into the mind of an artist? Don't you dare knock on the door unless you think you can grasp it. Its a tricky slope of delusion and poetic irony. The doubt creeps in the back door right as you lay down to sleep. Rest now.. Sweep up tomorrow

We all have at least one, if not multiple, depressed friend. That one friend that doesn't come out much, and if they do it's for short busts and usually only talk to people they already know. While out, they tend to place a visibly fake smile on, or at least visible to those that know them. Everyone is always trying their best to cheer them up, mainly because people hate seeing their friends "sad". But that's not love. Love is complete acceptance. Love is knowing they're depressed and still loving them anyway. Loving is not trying to change them into who you want them to be, but allowing them to be however it is they want to be today. So the next time your depressed friend tells you they're feeling depressed, don't try to cheer them up, just tell them you love them.

I Forgive You. 3 simple words. 3 words that don’t mean much separated, but together can change the world. It weird, sometimes when I look in the mirror I’m taken back. Taken back by the fact that I’m a man now. I never felt like a man. In my head I’m still that 14 year old boy playing with his pokèmon cards and riding his bike, but in the eyes of the world I’m a grown up. Expected to do grown up things. Expected to work, pay taxes, and have children and settle down. It’s kind of unfair, if you think about it, to expect something of someone else. Expecting something of yourself is one thing, but you have no idea of the thoughts racing through someone else’s mind. The morals they hold could be that of a completely different nature than your own. I feel like the world’s forgotten that we’re not all the same. As the famous quote goes; what’s normal for the spider, is chaos for the fly. In my case, I feel like I’m the fly, and the “normal” life is the spider. I don’t want a normal life. I want an adventure, a rollercoaster ride of happy and sad. I want to worry about where I’m going to sleep tonight. I want to make love to strangers. I want to show the world that there is beauty in each and every single one of us. I can’t work a 9 to 5, it literally hurts my soul. So, I’m chasing my dream. A lot of people say I’m crazy to think that I can do it. I call them crazy for doubting me. You can try all you want world, but you’ll never break me. I will succeed or die trying. Yes, sometimes I get angry at you for trying to stomp my aspirations, but I don’t hold on to that anger. I transform that anger into motivation. Because like Steve Jobs said, the ones that think they’re crazy enough to change the world, are the ones that do. So I forgive you world, I forgive you.