Did you know? Upon reaching the age of fifty years old, men born with penises start to experience penis shrinkage. This medical phenomenon is called 'depenilification', and can result in a loss of up to four inches of length, or 90% of pre-depenilification length. It also leads to a 72% loss of girth (measured directly below the testicles). Depenilification is the leading reason as to why older men have such bad aim at the urinals.
Big Dick (a cosmetic subsection of Big Pharma) has convinced these men that they are alone in their depenilification through corporate lobbying, adding Viagra into the water supply, and paying off doctors to tell you that depenilification is actually just your natural length, and that your previous length was simply a very long erection. Thus, these men feel societal pressure to continue to pee standing up despite their age catching up to them. While this does keep janitors employed, it does mean that we are stepping in pee all the time.
As a solution to this, Big Dick sells prosthetic penises, which solves the very problem that they created.
As for depenilification, it is believed that this is the body returning to its natural state after years of being affected by rogue testosterone in the atmosphere. As a man ages, he becomes less receptive to these air polluting hormones. This is backed up by the scientific fact that all humans start out without a penis. God (who is a woman) created humanity in Her image. Penises are the work of the devil. Procreation does not require a penis, only testicles, which would transfer semen through sunctioning the vulva with a male urethra.
