jongwhen

Dang

“Do you love the color of fire?”

Sometimes I forget everything is made from bits of stuff that the stars are made of, and this makes me feel warm inside.

as a customer thats fair to be honest

whoa I just realized it’s called deodorant because it de-odors you like it takes away your odor and you’re an ant

are you sure about the ant part

yeah otherwise they’d just call it deodor. I know what I’m talking about

concept: u and i go to the aquarium for our first date. u are nervous as u try to hold my hand. but u accidentally knock the cracker out of my hand because ur a piece of shit and u don’t use ur eyes. there goes my damn cracker. look what u have done. i run away screaming and never return ur phone calls. it’s been three years and u still write to me occasionally but i never answer. where is my cracker

everyone deserves to know someone who makes them go “!!!!!!!!!!!!” inside

I laughed so hard oh my god

LEGENDARY

Lucy Liu as James Bond pls

do rude people know they’re rude

Nah they think they’re “real”