This year is the year I'm going to make the prototype.

At the end of human vision lies the final, ultimate Truth, inasmuch as such can be at all within our vision even at its extreme limit. It cannot be experienced or thought of or spoken of because it cannot be conceptualized… This ultimate Being and ultimate Consciousness overflows constantly in the Outpouring of its essence, its nature, which is pure absolute love beyond our conceptions of love: complete compassion, total truth, ultimate beauty, Outpouring.

and Running are my two new daily rituals. I am right now committing to continue on the daily to enrich my spiritual and physical health.

2020 is the start of a new decade and here I am in July barely blogging about my 2020 so far. Marrah and I have been through quite a bit together this year. We had an amazing trip to the Philippines to start off. The first leg of my trip, I got to be spend with my Mom and Dad. I will treasure those memories forever. And at the 2nd leg of my trip, I rendezvoused with Marrah. I got to visit her home town and meet her best friend. Palawan is hands down the most beautiful place I’ve ever witnessed. 

And then right after our trip, corona virus hit the world and changed the way we lived our lives for the past few months. We were quarantined together, but our friendship, our bond, and our love grew in midst of what surrounded us. Weird times, but in retrospect a beautiful opportunity for growth. It was a nice “reset” I’d like to call. 

I am blessed to have loving, supportive family. And I am blessed to have Marrah by my side, especially during these times. More and more everyday, I continue to fall in love with her.

Gratitude.

Health.

Love.

Positivity.

This year I’m going to focus not just on those things, but shifting my mentality into one of the growth mindset. 

I want you to know that i can hear you whispering over me to relax and not do this and that.. as if you’re an angel

bro last night was your 3rd trip ever.. and you told yourself you wouldn’t do it again. and then you asked yourself...

is it truly the last?

and what you did was beautiful.. 

you transcended

you gave up a part of who you are just to be who

you wanted to become

And I’m having the time of my life. I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Decided to go on a trip again at Coachella 2019. I had the time of my life once again.. My best friend told me though that I don’t need to get lost in order to find myself. I learned a lot. Here are a few concepts I really grasped a hold of this time around:

1.) it’s okay to try but don’t try too hard

2.) be yourself

3.) nothing has to make sense

Last night I took care of a 60 something year old hispanic lady who had an aggressive form of endometrial cancer.. She was my patient post-operatively and so I had to keep close watch on her as she was freshly post-op. I started her PCA (patient controlled analgesia) pump for her, gave her IV fluids, and did routine post-op monitoring. I made her comfortable that night, I attended to her and her daughter and made sure they were both well rested overnight. The doctors had told her the prognosis this morning and I didn’t get to listen because I was passing report to the oncoming nurse. I came back to her room to say goodbye.. When I was telling her that I was leaving, she had something to say to me and I could not understand a single word. Before I could stop her from continuing and tell her that I don’t know spanish, she kept going and about 30 seconds into her speech I knew that she knew that I didn’t know spanish.. She said to me what she wanted to say in spanish knowing that I wouldn’t understand a single word, but I listened to her with the utmost intent of listening and feeling her words. In short, she was telling me words of gratitude and giving me blessings. I heard the words “Dios” in there (which means God) and something about “corazon” which is heart. 

She KNEW that I did not have to know a single word because I felt her words just by looking at her in the eyes and just feeling it. Those two words Corazon and Dios I can’t think of any other context they would be used in. When she was finished saying what she had to say, I looked at her in the eyes and replied, “gracias..” and she smiled and replied in acknowledgement that she knew I understood her,  “Gracias.”  Nurses aren’t supposed to do this for infection control reasons, but in the moment it was appropriate so I came down to her bed and hugged her..

These kinds of things happen for a reason. I call them signs.. They’re signs of clarity. I was reminded of why I do what I do. Why do I want to be rich? Why am I a nurse? It’s because I want to act in love. I want to spread the love of the holy spirit to as many people as I can. I want to take care of as many people as I can. I want to spread happiness, joy, and love. I believe in energy. I believe in God. Happiness, joy, and love are some of the highest forms of energy. That’s what I want to emit out to the universe!