happy holidays to everyone celebrating from my little corner of the world y'all! and a merry christmas too! i know i've been away a lot this year but hey thanks for making it better every once in a while when i had time to log on here and spend it with you folks. even if i was just watching mutuals grace the dash with their creativity, writing and art; grow and brave new muses, get into new fandoms, diversify, develop or simply blog their heart away as god intended. i keep on the downlow and pretty quiet, sure, but i'm loving on you in my heart and i hope all of you took care of yourselves this year. kisses under the mistletoe from me and the freak roster!

Just walk in the misty morning of a forest.

❝ it was just a dream. a bad dream. ❞ ❝ i’ve heard the rumor that you can’t stand me any more than the plague. ❞ ❝ you have to rest. we’ve still a long way ahead of us. ❞ ❝ mistakes are also important to me. i don’t cross them out of my life, or memory. ❞ ❝ i don’t remember what happened. only that i was frightened. ❞ ❝ that is my fate, my reason, my life. and it is not what i chose. it was chosen for me. ❞ ❝ remember, magic is chaos, art and science. it is a curse, a blessing and progress. ❞ ❝ it’s better to die than to live in the knowledge that you’ve done something that needs forgiveness. ❞ ❝ calmly, calmly, just don’t faint, i’m beside you. ❞ ❝ you are already dead. everything in you has already died. ❞ ❝ what the hell are you searching for? trouble? ❞ ❝ don’t you think that the time has come for more truthful confessions? ❞ ❝ difficult times are approaching. difficult and dangerous. ❞ ❝ look around you — there is crime and sin everywhere. ❞ ❝ this is no legend or fairy-tale. it is the truth. the sincere truth. ❞ ❝ it’s crap — all these princesses, sorceresses, destiny, love and fanciful tales. ❞ ❝ i lose a great deal of my charm when someone gets to know me better. ❞ ❝ he who fights by the sword dies by the sword. ❞ ❝ they say that it’s a bad sign…an omen. ❞ ❝ i will keep your secret. you have my word. ❞ ❝ let me remind you that spells are a serious matter. they are cast with grace and pride. ❞ ❝ did i wake you? sorry. ❞   ❝ you do not kill out of fear and hatred, but in order to save lives. ❞ ❝ are you going to leave me in suspense? that can’t be the end of your story. ❞ ❝ what have i done to deserve to be so high on your list? ❞ ❝ there, where mountains tower today, one day there will be seas; there where today seas surge, will one day be deserts. but stupidity will remain stupidity. ❞ ❝ i’ll carry on killing monsters in the ruins of this world until some monster kills me. ❞ ❝ when you know about something it stops being a nightmare. when you know how to fight something, it stops being so threatening. ❞ ❝ you forget that i know you, so don’t play the unfeeling mutant, devoid of heart. ❞ ❝ the less you know the better. ❞ ❝ you are not leaving here alone. i won’t let you be alone. not right now. ❞ ❝ who do you want to deceive? me? or maybe yourself? ❞ ❝ don’t play at being a hero. you have got yourself mixed up in a dangerous affair. ❞ ❝ i wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you. ❞ ❝ i owe you exactly as much as you owe me. no more and no less. ❞ ❝ we are no more than toys in the hands of gods. ❞ ❝ you are important to me, and always will be. ❞ ❝ don’t talk to me about emotions. i’ve had enough of all this talk about emotions. ❞ ❝ the anger and vengeance of the gods hangs over you. ❞ ❝ mind your tongue, and who you’re speaking to. ❞ ❝ is it possible you don’t believe me? ❞   ❝ i am the one who ought to be asking for forgiveness. ❞ ❝ for you, it’s an adventure. for me, it’s a game in which the stakes are survival. ❞ ❝ you don’t have to kill your feelings. it’s enough to kill hatred within yourself. ❞ ❝ to be neutral does not mean to be indifferent or insensitive. ❞ ❝ there’s no such thing as a fair fight. you have to make use of every advantage and every opportunity you get. ❞ ❝ from what i’ve heard about you, i have no doubt you would manage. ❞ ❝ it’s your own fault and your own problem. ❞ ❝ stay with me tonight. ❞ ❝ you’ve mistaken the stars reflected on the surface of the lake at night for the heavens. ❞ ❝ you look almost thirty, think you’re just over twenty and act as though you’re barely ten. ❞ ❝ it all depends on who uses magic, how they use it, and to what purpose. ❞ ❝ you want to run from me? no one has escaped me yet. ❞ ❝ intolerance and superstition has always been the domain of the more stupid amongst the common folk. ❞ ❝ you like me? you have been good at concealing it up until now. ❞ ❝ why have you gone so red, crimson as a poppy? ❞ ❝ do you have to spoil everything you touch? ❞   ❝ i warrant that it is better to count yourself amongst those few than amongst everyone. ❞ ❝ magic is everywhere. all around us. easily accessible. ❞ ❝ you are interested in strange matters. you ask strange questions. ❞ ❝ life is a priceless gift and should be protected. ❞ ❝ you are not so remarkable as to make me fall on my knees and raise my eyes to the heavens. ❞ ❝ something tells me you are not the person i took you to be. ❞ ❝ this had to happen at some point. this had to happen. ❞ ❝ that’s everything? you haven’t lied about anything? haven’t forgotten anything? ❞ ❝ you runt. you scum. you arrogant nobody. ❞ ❝ thank you for rescuing me. ❞ ❝ if you’re afraid, turn back. ❞ ❝ you’ve no heart. you really have no heart.. ❞ ❝ i’d be proud and happy to fight at your side. ❞ ❝ i see you have applied yourself to fulfilling the demands of fate and destiny. ❞ ❝ the sun is still high, even if it is obscured. you can still train. ❞ ❝ come into the light. don’t lurk in the dark. ❞ ❝ your fears are unfounded. entirely ungrounded. ❞ ❝ loyalty is devilishly difficult to manage. ❞ ❝ you shouldn’t have said that. ❞ ❝ your wound has to be dressed and we’ve got to get out of here. ❞ ❝ you won’t understand and you don’t have to understand. i did what i had to do. ❞ ❝ you aren’t afraid of anything? answer truthfully. ❞ ❝ war is constantly hovering over us like a vulture. ❞ ❝ i’m afraid of death, just like everyone else, but i grew used to the idea of it a very long time ago. ❞ ❝ the world is falling to ruins. we can watch it happen and do nothing. or we can counteract it. ❞ ❝ what’s the matter with you? are you going to be sick? ❞ ❝ you are cunning but not careful enough. ❞ ❝ i don’t want to hurt you, but if you come near me… ❞ ❝ have you calmed down sufficiently for me to safely approach and take a look at you? ❞ ❝ i want to talk to you. i don’t need an audience. ❞ ❝ i’m not in the habit of poking my nose into other people’s secrets. ❞ ❝ you’ve got a tongue as sharp as a wasp. ❞ ❝ have you been taught anything other than making holes with a sword? ❞ ❝ what the hell is this? who beat you like this? ❞ ❝ before you said that, you still had a chance to live. now you don’t. ❞ ❝ i help you sometimes but i do so out of my own free will. ❞   ❝ everyone comes across someone who will better them someday. ❞ ❝ murder is always murder, regardless of motive or circumstance. ❞ ❝ it’s all lies. just a poetic invention to make the story prettier and more touching. ❞ ❝ take this and put it to your nose or you will be covered with blood! ❞ ❝ your valuable friendship is too important to me to disappoint you. ❞ ❝ i was worried you were going to ask me another one of your unequal grand questions. ❞ ❝ you look but have no eyes. you listen but have deaf ears. ❞ ❝ answer my questions. please. ❞ ❝ i don’t have to comply with your instructions and orders. ❞   ❝ you really do believe we are in some danger? ❞ ❝ couldn’t you, just once in your life, do something right? ❞   ❝ what i intend is my business. don’t get mixed up in this or there’ll be an incident. ❞   ❝ was someone asking about me? ❞   ❝ all this is going to start concerning you — and sooner than you think. ❞ ❝ i knew you wouldn’t understand. ❞ ❝ listen. what’s done is done. ❞   ❝ war is war. you whack the enemy in the backside, and they whack you back. ❞   ❝ destiny cannot be avoided. ❞ ❝ we’re tempting fate. we’re tempting fate too much. ❞ ❝ fighting doesn’t bother me, and a bit of blood’s nothing new. ❞ ❝ it’s not nice to eavesdrop. ❞ ❝ whose side are we on? whose side are we against? who’s our friend and who’s our enemy? ❞ ❝ both sides despite those who sit on the bench. ❞ ❝ what’s your name, if it’s no secret? ❞ ❝ don’t be in such a hurry to tug the lion’s whiskers, because this lion is not dead yet. ❞   ❝ i’m too old for this sort of thing. too old. ❞   ❝ i know you. you’re ruthless, you’re cruel. ❞ ❝ i know how to draw a bow too. ❞ ❝ you betrayed my trust. ❞ ❝ your chances of me forgiving and forgetting are non-existent. ❞ ❝ what’s got into you? there’s not a grain of sense in your prattling. ❞ ❝ life is an endless train of surprises. ❞   ❝ have you lost your mind? ❞   ❝ such matters should not be left to chance. ❞ ❝ we can’t afford to make a blunder or a mistake now. ❞   ❝ careful, or your arrogance will be the end of you. ❞   ❝ let’s throw formalities aside. ❞   ❝ we don’t have much time. it would be a sin to waste it. ❞ ❝ don’t fool yourself that it’s different this time. it’s never different. ❞ ❝ why are you looking at me like that? ❞ ❝ sincerity works both ways. you ask me any question and i will answer. sincerely. ❞ ❝ being kind-hearted…that might be a problem because it is widely believed i don’t possess any such organ. ❞ ❝ i’ve already seen a war. i don’t want to see another. ❞ ❝ i rarely laugh. i really need to have a good reason to laugh. ❞ ❝ you talk so beautifully, i can listen to you for hours. ❞ ❝ you think you know it all, but you don’t. ❞ ❝ furious as a cat. sparks in your eyes; just wait and you’ll hiss. ❞ ❝ poetry is eternal and immortal. it knows no beginning, it knows no end. ❞ ❝ i see that you don’t know me at all. ❞ ❝ let’s not talk about it. let’s not worry too soon. ❞ ❝ don’t play the child because you’re not one anymore. ❞ ❝ have a safe journey. i’ll be thinking of you. ❞ ❝ i haven’t got anybody anymore and i am someone else. ❞ ❝ i’m afraid you still know too little. ❞   ❝ magic isn’t for show. magic is not some street market trick. ❞ ❝ violence breeds violence. ❞   ❝ there’s no returning to the past. there’s no one there for me anymore. ❞ ❝ for the time being, trust me and do as i ask. ❞ ❝ let me massage your hand and arm. ❞ ❝ magic, like a spiked arrow, is lodged in you. ❞ ❝ chaos is afraid of you. but it wants you to be the one who feels fear. ❞ ❝ there is chaos and order, good and evil in all of us. ❞ ❝ i don’t want to lose everything again. ❞ ❝ you’ve got yourself mixed up in destiny, far more than you’ve bargained for. ❞ ❝ first of all, let us have something to eat and drink. ❞ ❝ you still have time to turn back. it’s not too late. ❞ ❝ what are you staring at me like that for? ❞ ❝ in a minute you’re going to faint from loss of blood. ❞ ❝ go to sleep, you’re barely on your feet. ❞ ❝ are you angry with me? ❞ ❝ magic, is in some people’s opinion, the embodiment of chaos. ❞ ❝ well. are you going to tell me or not? ❞ ❝ i get angry just as rarely as i laugh. ❞ ❝ i’m here. i’m at your side. don’t be afraid. ❞ ❝ hold your hands out so i can see them. ❞ ❝ you can’t stop a soldier from being frightened but you can give him motivation to overcome that fear. ❞

  it nigh contrasted like silk does on wool, as she reached for one of the biscuits already laid out on a plate.   “what are you afraid of?” 

upon her left wrist, now bare, sat a mangled semicircle of gnash indents, as emphasis

Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

THE WHEEL OF TIME ↳ Season 2 ↳ Episode Five