The Jolly Capybara

“they” is more inclusive than “he/she”

“themself” flows more naturally than “him or herself”

“they” is less clunky than “(s)he”

“I shouldn’t like to punish anyone, even if they’d done me wrong.” —George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss (1860)

“A person can’t help their birth.” —William Thackeray, Vanity Fair (1848)

“But to expose the former faults of any person, without knowing what their present feelings were, seemed unjustifiable.” —Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice (1813)

“Every Fool can do as they’re bid.” —Jonathan Swift, Polite Conversation (1738)

“So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.” —King James Bible, Matthew 18:35 (transl. 1611)

“God send every one their heart’s desire!” —William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing (~1600)

“Now this king did keepe a great house, that euerie body might come and take their meat freely.” —Sir Philip Sidney, the Arcadia (1580)

“If … a psalme scape any person, or a lesson, or els yt they omyt one verse or twayne…” —William Bonde, The Pylgrimage of Perfection (1526)

“And whoso fyndeth hym out of swich blame, / They wol come up and offre a Goddés name” —Geoffrey Chaucer, The Pardoner’s Tale (~1380)

“þan hastely hiȝed eche wiȝt on hors & on fote, / huntyng wiȝt houndes alle heie wodes, / til þei neyȝþed so neiȝh to nymphe þe soþe [Then hastily hied each person on horse and on foot / hunting with hounds all the high woods / ‘til they came so near, to tell the truth]” —William and the Werwolf (transl. ~1350-1375)

Violets are blue

Singular “they” predates

And what many people don’t realize is that this subculture was born as a way for young girls to express themselves in their own way. And it was also used as something against the adult life and the traditional culture, often seen as dull and boring and oppressive. By embracing cuteness, these young girls (and adult women, after a while) were showing non-conformation with the current standards.

NO OK THIS IS SO IMPORTANT!

This is also how the kawaii fashions started! Girls began dressing in cute and off beat styles for themsleves, they were criticized by adult figures telling them “you’ll never find a husband if you dress that way!” to which they began to reply “Good!”

All the Japanese subcultures and fashions that evolved out of this became a rebellion to tradition and the starch gender roles and expectations the adults were forcing on the younger generations. As early as the 70s and still to this day you’ll see an emphasis on child-like fashion and themes in more kawaii styles and the dismissal of the male gaze with styles like lolita (a lot of western people assume lolita is somehow sexual due to the name of the fashion, but ask any Japanese lolita and they will tell you that men hate the style and find it unattractive which is sometimes a large reason they gravitate towards the style - they can express their femininity and individuality while remaining independent and without the pressure to appeal to men)

I'll add smth here cos I learned after posting this on IG that people still aren't entirely understanding how scary and dangerous this is. Ppl kept saying to me 'I can still buy your book in shops though' or 'Its okay, I'll order your book into my library!'

I dont give af about my book lol No one outside of Ace ppl ever read it, its yearly sales don't even cover a month of expenses for me.

The thing you should all be concerned about is that a totally benign unheard of book about someone's every day life is being banned. And those laws listed above are passing through US government right now. One of those laws would make it so that any teacher/librarian in the US could lose their job/go to prison for simply sharing 'ideology'- and I don't mean only lgbtq folk, these laws are attacking black history, civil rights history, disability rep in books. Just talking about these things will now legally be considered a 'dangerous ideology'.

And once that's set into law, the US government has backing via law to go ahead and say 'if these books aren't legally allowed in schools, then they shouldn't be allowed in shops, either.' And from there it sets up a great argument for 'The dangerous content in these books is lawfully being removed from public, shouldn't we be lawfully removing the people living out/promoting this ideology too?'

I can see why ppl don't fully understand how dangerous book bannings are, if they're not familiar with the history of fascism. If you're interested, there are plenty of graphic novels that share this history via first hand accounts- Maus, Persepolis, Banned Book Club.

But guess what? You're on limited time to get these via libraries...cos all three of these books are on banned lists too, and they got nothing to do with lgbtq rep, and everything to do with warning ppl about fascism.

And the US government knows it can get away with this, because they are passing these laws as we speak and barely anyone is doing anything about it or talking about it. I've been trying to talk about it for years and no one does anything except say to me 'don't worry, I'll buy your book!' or say its a badge of honour that I have a banned book.

And like there was no permanent cast, all these celebrities seem to have gotten a scene or part of a scene to do (i’m not sure exactly, I did not ever watch Quibi and thus haven’t seen this yet), and then they just… recreated it as best they could. At home. Under quarantine.

So like, you had Jennifer Garner in a blanket cape playing Princess Buttercup AND the Booing Old Woman with a crowd comprised entirely of stuffed animals:

Or Taika Waititi paying Westley off a badly-drawn Inigo on a piece of cardboard held in front of someone’s face:

And it’s all just delightful.

But my absolute favorite part of this thing that I’ve sadly never seen but assume is probably absolutely hilarious and a treasure and I want to find it some day and watch the whole thing… is that Carey Elwes is in it.

As Prince Fucking Humperdink.

Here ya go

I didn't take this post for the glory. There is no glory in this.

I swore an oath before I knew what oaths cost. I have been paying ever since.

You should not be in this part of the city at this hour. I will not ask again.

My loyalty belongs to the crown. 

Stand down. All of you. I said stand down! 

I have kept this city's peace for fifteen years. You have undone me in fifteen days.

You come to me with this now. At this hour. With blood on your hands and no explanation.

The gate closes at sundown. You knew that. Why are you only arriving now?

There are things I have done in service of this city that I will not speak of. Not to you. Not to anyone.

Lower your voice. These walls remember everything said within them.

I have followed orders my entire life. I am looking at you and wondering, for the first time, what it would mean to refuse one.

You are not safe here. 

My men did not see you. As far as this watch is concerned you were never here tonight.

I have held this post through three rulers. I will not compromise it. Not even for you.

The city does not sleep. Neither do I. We have that in common, at least.

Tell me what you know and tell me quickly. I have neither time nor patience for half truths.

I understand sacrifice. What I do not understand is being asked to sacrifice you.

Nobody passes through this gate without my leave.

I have drawn this sword in service of causes I did not believe in. I will not draw it against you.

You ask me to look the other way. You do not know what you are asking.

A commander does not have the luxury of doubt. I have been doubting since the moment I met you.

The fog comes in heavy off the river at this hour. Stay close.

I know every shadow in this city. I know every place a person might hide. I will find who did this.

You should fear me. Most people do. The fact that you do not is either very brave or very foolish.

I have given this city everything it has asked of me. Tonight it is asking for something I cannot give.

My second will take the watch. You and I need to speak somewhere without ears in the walls.

The law is the law. I did not write it. I do not always agree with it. I enforce it nonetheless.

You, of all people, came to the barracks. What has happened?

I have seen men break under far less. You are still standing. That means something.

Do not mistake my silence for approval, boy. Do not mistake it for indifference either.

I was told you were trouble the day you arrived in this city. I should have listened.

A knight serves. That is the whole of it. Serve, protect, endure. I have never wanted more than that until now.

I have enemies in every quarter of this city. I will not have you become a target because of your association with me.

The order came from above me. I am not certain it came from a place I still respect.

Put the blade down. I am asking you as someone who does not wish to see you hanged.

There are two kinds of people in a city like this. Those who are protected and those who do the protecting. I have always known which one I am.

You should not trust me simply because I wear this cloak. Trust must be earned. Let me earn it.

I will not pretend the law bends for sentiment. I will also not pretend I am without sentiment where you are concerned.

My duty ends at that door. What happens beyond it is between you and whatever gods you keep.

You are asking me to betray everything I have built my life upon.

The city watch answers to the crown. I answer to the city watch. Tonight I find myself answering to something else entirely.

I have buried men I called brothers. I have mourned them quietly and moved on because the realm does not pause for grief.

I am not accustomed to being seen. Only to being obeyed.

Ride out at first light. Take nothing that marks you as known to me. I will follow when I can.

You remind me of something I gave up a long time ago.

The Rodeo Rule: you only have to do it for the first time once.

The Rohan Rule: if you are at a social function full of new people and you want to be liked, find someone doing important work like setup or food prep and offer to help.

The Tutorial Mode Rule: to navigate an unfamiliar situation where you fear you will mess up an interaction, preface the interaction by mentioning that you've never done this before, and let them know if you have a specific concern or question.

The Rocket Science Rule: most new things you want to try seem very complicated but are simple when taken step by step.

The [X] Will Remember That Rule: if you need to make small talk with the same person on a regular basis, try to save one fact or current event in their life from a given conversation and bring it up next time you talk.