John Safran

If God doesn't exist how are these Jews levitating?

After turning up to these far-right rallies for years I finally meet the puppet master

Uh-oh. Does insurance cover Acts of Sarcasm? In my enthusiasm to make a sarcastic aside to a friend at this party, I sprung across the kitchen & elbowed the glass 😳

Might wear my youth shoes to fit in. See you at Melbourne Uni, Rowden White Library, at 2.30! I'll be blurting. Details: johnsafran.com

1969: "who's that low brow putz reading that trashy pulp novel? I weep for the future" 2017: "who's reading that book? A thick one to boot. Intellectual."

I've leaving all my friends (and one enemy) behind at the Brisbane Writers Festival. If you're in Christchurch NZ & want to catch me there tomorrow (Sunday), at that city's writers fest, hit up johnsafran.com

So...err.. Blair... been meaning to ask... what did you think of my book?

If you see me in someone's tinder pic, you can assume that means I'm going to turn up to the date too and fill in any awkward silences

🔪🐐🐓@Socceroos

😮writer @omarbinmusa eyed my freshly trimmed beard & said "I bet your barber is Iraqi or Afghan". My barber *is* Iraqi! What a skill. Sherlock Holmes for ethnic beards #melbournewritersfestival

I did not order a green hot water bottle! I swear

Uh-oh, looks like I got drunk & ordered something off the Internet again. No idea what this is

Author George Megalogenis & I are off together to the Canberra Writers Festival. We're not dating, we just happen to be on the same plane. (Details of my Canberra & Sydney appearances this weekend are at johnsafran.com)

"Jew detective searching for some jews clues" Thanks for the gif gift @ivanreecedixon!

Did the Crusaders cave in so quickly last time around?

#Repost @littlesparrow ・・・ Hang on a second, according to @johnsafran 's (very very good) book Pauline Hanson said she'd never wear a burqa...please explain?

I'm coming to Canberra! Hit up johnsafran.com for Canberra Writers Festival details. (Also Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne & Christchurch dates)