𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮.

“but you both swiped right, which means you both find each other hot.” they’d never thought about going on tinder to find someone to date in gallagher ! it wasn’t a bad idea ! 

they rest their head on his shoulder, not knowing why it was so hard to let the words out. if there was anyone they could trust with a secret it was hoodie. he hardly talked anyway. “you can’t tell anyone this, please.” but before he could speak they were continuing on. “mira and i have been hooking up on and off since like...last june?” they sigh and groan. “i made the stupid decision of asking how she feels about me, ‘cause we’ve kinda ignored it until now. and her reaction was to just say i shouldn’t have asked her to hang out, and then she got up to leave, so i said if she leaves i won’t let her back in again.” they took a breath, having said that way too fast. “and then she left.” had leila been anyone else, they would have started crying. but it translated in the drop and disappointment in their voice instead. 

“okay, well, i’m going to paris.” they had a home there, and paris around christmas time was their favorite time of year. not only that, but it also meant they could avoid the family dinner that usually led to too many questions about school that leila was bad at answering. “and i think you, me, and paris sounds like a really fun time.” they just needed to be with someone who would stop them from texting mira, mostly.

“okay but the look in your eyes tells me there’s more. way more. spill ! you’re killing me !” if they couldn’t have a love life, or be loved properly, then at least their friends could! 

as soon as she turns away, there’s a sinking feeling in leila’s chest, and all they want is to reach out and beg for her to stay. to tell her that they can just be friends, that that’s okay, to just not. leave. but instead, they’re frozen, and they watch, and they think ‘ if she turns around, even for a second, she wants me back. ‘

“jackson pollack is amazing. i wouldn’t mind that,” they smiled, and took his hand, already walking back to their dorm. “i already have the paint and the brushes.”

“yes for you!” leila giggled, their heart skipping at martina’s reaction. she was just too cute ! how couldn’t they get her something nice? quickly, leila switched the hands of the item they were carrying, and then revealed a hydroflask that looked identical to the one she had lost. “i found it on ebay! it was limited edition, did you know that?”

eyes closed, leila held the hand of the person guiding them. “where are we going? i love surprises.”

“if i promised a free joint, would you paint my back something pretty?” maybe they’d spent too long watching painting videos on instagram.

“i got you something,” leila said proudly, both hands behind their back. “pick a hand please.”

“i feel like shit,” leila admitted. something they’d never admit to anyone else. but here, sitting on the roof and looking up at the stars, they felt like they could finally express things they’d been holding in for weeks. hoodie would be the only one to understand anyway. “like total fucking shit.”

“so i was thinking,” they sat beside their friend, coffees for the both of them in hand. “wait- what are you doing for christmas break?”

finally, they could talk about this! leila had been waiting to hear everything going on between him and grey, and they wouldn’t let up until they heard all of it. “no need to apologize, but as penance, i need to know the tea.” the words sounded a bit strange with their french accent, but it didn’t stop them. they sat down and crossed their legs. “i’m waiting.”

the response was all leila needed. deep in their heart, they wanted to hold on to the hope that mira was only acting this way because she was scared. because she liked them too. but how long could they hold out for that? they watched her pack her things up. “if you leave, i won’t let you back in again.” who knew how honest that threat was? 

“almond flour....the way i didn’t know they had nuts in it. wait- is an almond considered a nut?”

“family things are boring,” leila sighed, not at all reading the room or the heaviness in his voice. maybe they’d just finished smoking, and were slightly dazed. “honestly i’ve just been vibing. a lot of my classes are harder than i originally anticipated so i’ve been trying not to drown in work. what’s it like coming back in the middle of it all?”