Vodka & benadryl got me feeling like a oyster

this is how you activate the christian trinity

I think Bilbo is gay but he doesn’t get laid much if at all because every time he’s alone with a nice bloke who’s interested he takes the opportunity to read them some of his poetry. and if they’re appreciative he takes that as a cue to read them more. if they’re not appreciative he won’t fuck them.

meows at you loud as fuck. meows at you loud as fuck again

It would be funny if we were introduced to a vast galaxy of alien life and the blue whale was still the largest animal ever discovered. Like that’s the biggest life has ever gotten. That would be fucked. The blue whale is just the craziest animals would get even with the introduction of a seemingly infinite number of new species. Would you be disappointed or celebrate the enormity of our homegrown big ass creature?

we all need to take better care of our selfs or we might Pass away

yeah joe mama is fun and all, but have y’all ever heard about a henway?

what’s a henway?