lars

theres a new villain roaming around new york that has all the powers of a tapir. give me an hour or two im gonna go google what the fuck tapirs do ill let you know if we need to be scared

OK it seems if you are fruits or berries this is really really bad news for you otherwise youre fine

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

my human vaporizing machine continues to mistify people

idont remmeber what the rest of the post was going to say. use your impregnation i dont care

you get what i mean.

$0

everyones got that fic they chip away at like michaelangelo sculpting david. and brother? its penis month

asked my friends if they knew what i was referencing and they said no. we all know that post where someone divided how long it took michelangelo to sculpt david by it's size and went "yuuuuup. whole month spent on penis" right. sure, my search history is full variations upon "michelangelo penis month tumblr" to no avail, but we all know it. right.

Hi, that was a MBMBAM bit. But i see you and i hear you and i dont know if someone already said something

What if kitties had a festival called kitties festival

And all of the kitties had to go so you had to help them pack a little bag with coins a toy and lunch if they are not going to buy it at the kitties festival

I'm in your house picking your shy, uptight man like a lock.

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them