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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
[Y/N] Targaryen meets a certain hedge knight. The two of them forget their oaths, vows and principles in their roles.
Masterlist
Content Warnings; birth scene(?), unwanted pregnancy, Aerion hits reader (ooc? Idk), death of a child
212AC
You had awoken to your nightgown soaked through. Your unborn child making it difficult to even sleep anymore. You haven’t had any dreams for almost a whole year.
You were terrified. Maesters, handmaidens, a wet nurse surrounded you. You felt the walls caving in on you.
You screamed and screamed. You cried out for someone, anyone, to come help you. The maester told your handmaiden to shush you, something about the babe being stuck.
That shook you out of your head. “No!” You scream. You fought against hands, groaning at the feeling of the blood.
You had knocked yourself into a deep, delirious sleep. Your mother was there, so was Matarys.
When you had awoke, the room was quiet. Except for small cooing and whispers.
You reluctantly opened your eyes, wishing this was all a dream, that you weren’t pregnant, still unmarried.
But when you followed the noise. Aerion was holding the babe near the window. The moon beaming in, casting light on the babe.
“Aerion?”
He grins at you. “You have gave me a son, dear wife.”
You felt weak. Your mouth parched, scratching your throat as you swallowed back bile.
Standing up, off the birthing bed, as if you hadn’t almost bled to death birthing that thing. “Amazing news, cousin.”
Aerion noticed your state, how you weren’t begging him to hold your child, how you were so eager to leave. “I think the boy wants a name.”
You shrug, wrapping yourself into your robe. “You pick. He’s your son.”
“Our son.”
You didn’t feel like fighting. You felt pure bliss that the leech isn’t inside your womb no more. “Of course, husband.”
He walks closer to you. You could hear the thing cooing, probably hungry. Aerion is trying to kiss your cheek, but you move quicker.
“I need to go on a walk.”
Aerion raises a brow. “In your condition?”
You scoff. “I have no condition. You have an heir. Congratulations.”
You don’t wait for a response before you’re literally speeding down the halls. Hoping, praying that Kiera is roaming the same halls, expecting you.
And she is. Daeron at her side. She looks confused that there’s no child in your arms, expecting bad news about the outcome of the babe.
But you shake her off. Explains where he’s at.
“You don’t look happy, cousin.” It’s Daeron’s hoarse whisper that cracks into the air.
You sigh, picking at your nails. “I never wanted the.. babe.”
She leans forward, resting her hand on yours. “I know what you’re feeling, what you’re thinking… it will pass.”
The King insisted you name the babe, before he is announced to the people of the council and Kings Landing.
It was one of the first times you actually held your child. He was already three moons old. Your dreams began to haunt you, once more.
He stared at you. Blinking with his white eyelashes, with your mother’s blue eyes. He had his father’s pure white hair.
The more you sat, examining this child, you realise how beautiful he is, how he looks at you like you’re his whole world.
“Valarys?” You whisper. His hand comes to your face, babbling, spit rolling down his chin.
It wouldn’t be a moon or so later, that you and your son become sick, heavy with fever, and a rough cough.
The maester told you it was common for mother and child to get sick at the same time. Since they spend so much time together. But how could you explain that you’re just getting used to having him.
Aerion tried to help both of you, before it started to get worse for Valarys.
You had mended in no time, being able to eat your meals at the table again. You began to breastfeed your baby, as the maester advised to boost his health.
It wasn’t until after you had came back from dinner, with Aelora trying to make odd conversation with you, Alys being snippy across the table, that you go into your chambers, taking your overheating child into your arms once more.
Valarys had became your comfort over time. You enjoyed watching him grow up, and how he was beginning to look more like you everyday.
He had babbled in happiness to see you, screeching when you took him into your arms. You had began to nurse him, rocking him back and forth, when Aerion struts in.
He slams letters down on the table in front of you. His knuckles white with tension, face red with anger.
“Care to explain?”
You look at the letters, seeing that they were your letters that you had sworn you had sent off to Duncan.
“Aerion, I–”
His open hand stops you, as you gasp in shock that he had slapped you. In front of your child.
You growled. “I don’t know how it’s any of your business who I send letters to! I’m just worried for your brother and his caregiver.”
“Caregiver?” He scoffs. “I should’ve known what happened in Ashford… should’ve known I married a whore!”
You try your best to ignore him, rocking Valarys as he begins to get restless because of the raised voices. You cover your breast again. His head on your shoulder.
“You gave me an heir, but he’s constantly sick! How will our family line continue if their king is a sickly one.”
You close your eyes, hoping this ends soon.
“Perhaps your womb is rotten. Will I just get sickly children from you?”
You swallow. “Perhaps.”
He scoffs again. You flinch back. Aerion notices and steps down onto his knees in front of you.
“I’m sorry, wife. I.. I let my anger get the best of me.”
You ignore him. Your cheek was hot.
He sighs. “Even the maesters are feared for the boy. They say he–”
“I don’t give a fuck what the maester says. They couldn’t save my mother, my brothers. Why should I trust them to save my son?”
You finally look at him. “He just needs time.” You felt tears bitting at your eyes. “Valarys will be a strong child, I know it.”
Aerion nods, his hands comes to rest of the boys head, kissing his cheek, before kissing yours. Valarys is snoring lightly, whimpering in his sleep when Aerion leaves.
It wasn’t until the year was almost over that life just had to knock you over one last time.
You had awoken to the sound of screaming, crying, shouting. You had jumped out of bed and ran to the nursery, pushing past handmaidens that had crowded the halls and doors.
Aelinor is in front of you, her arm wraps around you to stop going further. “No, sweet girl.”
“But Valarys!” You try to fight against her, until the maester is standing.
“He is dead, princess.”
You gasp. “What?”
“He had many ailments, and diseases that we know no cure of.” He looks down to the ground, almost in shame, begging for forgiveness.
You grab onto Aelinor, almost for something to ground you. “My son?”
The maester nods. “I’m sorry, princess.”
You felt your knees go weak, your eyes getting cloudy. “You… who can you save?!” You scream. “My mother, no cure. My brothers, no cure. And now my son!”
You didn’t mean to shout and scream. But knowing that your son is just behind this old man, hurts your chest, your heart beating far faster. You want to see him, hold him, nurse him back to health.
But you don’t. Your knees don’t make it to his cot before you’re on the floor, sobbing, screaming. Aelinor is there. You think Kiera is, too.
You scream until you’re choking on air, scratching at your skin. You scream until you’ve passed out into your aunts lap.
You dream of your father, how you would stand with him, watching the knights practice on the grounds. The night after another rough dream. How you held his hand and didn’t let go.
When you got ready for the funeral, you were still weak, not able to eat, or sleep. Even walking past the nursery makes your heart drop.
Standing and watching the pyre go up in flames. Aerion doesn’t look your way, once. He was the first to leave. You were one of the last.
Silent tears ran down your face. Blood collecting at your fingernails.
“Niece,” it was Maekar. “I have heard what my son has been saying about you and your ability to make children.”
You gulp, expecting him to support his son. Claim you’ve been cursed, to go and pray profusely until you’re with child again.
But he doesn’t. Instead his arm is around your shoulder.
“My son is an idiot.” He speaks. “Valarys’ death has nothing to do with you, or even the babe himself. He was just a sick child, that has no proper medicine to cure him.”
His words do little to comfort you.
You think he can tell.
“Just know, you’re not to blame, niece.”
You try to pretend that you agree with him. But you’re starting to believe that you were cursed.
Guys real talk. I’m starting university come September. If anyone went or goes to university currently, what’s the stuff i DEFINITELY need for my accommodation and in general for a university student.
I don’t want to buy stuff and then never use them.
[Y/N] Targaryen meets a certain hedge knight. The two of them forget their oaths, vows and principles in their roles.
Masterlist
Content Warnings; unwanted pregnancy
211AC
You weren’t told when Rhaegel, Alys and their children arrived. Or the reason for their visit.
But Aerys seemed somewhat pleased to see his brother.
Rhaegel stuck close to his wife. Their children did the same. They seem rather shy, and never spoke to you or any of Maekar’s children.
Their twins, Aelor and Aelora, seemed to enjoy private conversations with Aerys – which were supervised by Alys.
You had caught them when walking down the halls. Alys’ blue gown caught your eye. And once her eyes met yours, Aerys’ chamber door slammed shut.
Your heart sunk. You tried your best not to show it at dinner. Or when Rhaegel tried to discuss your father and brothers without crying.
Within the next few days, you weren’t called into council meetings. Aerys would walk past you without a second look.
That’s when you knew something was happening.
You had caught Aelinor outside with Daenora, the youngest of Rhaegel’s, playing with Daella and Rhae.
Aelinor welcomed you with a warm smile as you sat at her side.
“Tea, niece?” She goes to nod to one of her handmaidens to begin pouring tea, when you stopped her.
“I’m only here to get answers.”
This caught Aelinor’s full attention. “What for?”
You sigh, glancing at the little girl, who looked far too much like her father. “What is Alys’ plans with the twins?”
Aelinor took a sip of her tea. Her eyebrows raised up from over the cup. She hums. Almost smirking.
“Your sweet aunt Alys is trying to get the twins into an heir race with you..” you dreaded the rest of her sentence.
She sighs. “And, sweet girl, I’m afraid, with Maekar here, she’s winning.”
Tightness in your chest reminded you to breathe. You didn’t say anything, and that was enough for Aelinor.
“I thought if I married Aerion then Maekar would support my cause..?”
Aelinor laughs. “You’re forgetting he’s the youngest son, the youngest brother. He’s dying to get on that throne before any one else.”
Moons later, you knew you were in the early stages of pregnancy. The more you looked into a mirror you noticed the small bump.
You also knew you were in the early stages of being usurped from a throne that was promised to you.
You were waiting for the announcement. You blatantly ignored the pregnancy, pushing the thought away that you were carrying Aerion’s child.
At night, when you laid on your back, staring at the ceiling. He was sneak a hand on the small bump, whispering about a dragon, his heir.
You were disgusted at him, and this thing inside you. You would push his hand away and curl into yourself, crying for your mother.
So when the next morning came. Your handmaidens helped with your dress.
“Princess, I can’t tighten it any further.”
You inhale. “Try, please.”
The girl nodded, tightening the corset, until you could feel it right into your ribcage.
You went on a walk with Kiera around the gardens, the halls – that still haunt you with your brothers and your father.
Young handmaidens talked amongst themselves, glancing at you, looking at you with pity.
You thought everyone was past this pity towards you.
It wasn’t until you were sat at dinner. Aerys stood at the head of the table. Alys sat with a sharp look in her eyes.
“I’m happy to announce that my brother, Rhaegel will be heir after me!”
Your grasp around your chalice tightened. The tightness in your chest was back.
When you raised your eyesight, you noticed that Maekar was in the same predicament.
That’s when it hit you. The throne will never be yours.
You were quick to excuse yourself, rushing to your chambers. Ribbing off the dress and the corset. You sat in your nightgown all night – writing pages and pages to Duncan. About how much you miss him, how much you need him to be here with you.
You knew it was rare that the location Aegon had gave you a while back was where they still were, but you prayed at your bed before wrapping into your duvet – ignoring how your husband came back when the sun was rising, smelling of sex and alcohol.
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Yes, you may have been a struggling college graduate, and a ex-burglar. But, you’re Bruce Wayne’s secretary first and Batmans sidekick secondly.
Masterlist
Content warning; sexual tension, another short chapter, shoot me
taglist; @jellyfish-tae @justservingcant
The Joker has came in, demanding to know where Dent is. It takes everything in you to stay still on your feet, as you watch him and his little friends shove guns into peoples faces, trying to make them scared so that they’ll say something – without your suit, it wouldn’t take you long to be shot down.
But no one budged.
It wasn’t until the man had a knife against an old man’s face that Rachel spoke up.
That’s when Joker thought she was entertaining enough for him.
You blink and she’s in the same position as the old man once was, a knife pressed into her cheeks. He spoke silently to her, about a wife, whilst Rachel fought and squirmed against him the knife.
It’s when you finally moved. “That’s enough.”
“Hah!” He turns to you, knife ready. “I don’t take orders from a little secretary…”
He knows who you are.
“Isn’t Bruce gonna come save you now.” He steps closer to you. You don’t break eye contact, even though you can see Rachel standing behind him, shaking her head, mouthing something to you.
You sigh. “I’m not scared of you.”
He laughs in your face. His breath hot. “Of course, you’re not scared.” The knife is traced along your jaw.
“But I think the people around you, would be terrified, to see you bleeding out…” the knife presses harder. “Right at their–”
Before he could finish their sentence, Rachel had stepped behind him, raised her foot between his legs to kick him in the crotch.
“Oh..!” He turns to Rachel again. “You’ve got a little fight in you. I like that.”
A figure jumps down behind him. Batman. Bruce.
As soon as Joker is away from you and Rachel, she’s at your side again. She’s hugging you.
“You didn’t have to do that.” She’s saying in your ear.
“It’s fine.” You shrug it off.
You had to stand and watch as Joker and his remaining friends run off. The guests soon leave, too. As does Rachel and Dent, once they have a safe passage to somewhere safe.
It’s just you, Batman, and Alfred who’s sweeping up glass.
“Alfred, let me help you.” You felt useless.
“No, it’s quite alright, miss.” You ignore him, picking up large shards of glass into your hand. “We don’t need any more injuries–”
All he heard was a large hiss of pain from you as the glass cuts into your skin. He sighs.
“Sorry, Alfred.” You brush off the glass into a bin, before rushing into the bathroom, where Bruce stood, his chest exposed, wearing only the bottom half of the bat suit.
“Oh, my god. Sorry.”
“Hey, it’s alright.” He stops as soon as he can see the blood trickling down your wrist. “What happened? Did he–”
He, meaning Joker.
“No.” You’re quick to shake your head. “It’s just me being stupid.”
He shakes his head, leading you further into the very large bathroom. Bruce takes your hand under the tap, rinsing the blood with water.
His own hand was so warm, his whole body was radiating heat. You couldn’t help but rest your head on his shoulder.
He sighs. “You alright?”
You nod. “I’m sorry.. that I couldn’t help you.”
His thumb rubs at your wrist.
“Everything happened so fast.” You continue. “He had Rachel, and I couldn’t let anything happen to her, she’s your friend. You’d kill me if I didn’t save her.”
He pauses. He pulls you back. “And if anything happened to you, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”
You snort. “Bruce, you’re the Bruce Wayne, you’re the Batman. I’m just your secretary, your little sidekick.”
He tuts. “You’re more than that…”
You inhale. Bruce’s eyes held such intensity, you couldn’t look away. “What else am I, Bruce?”
He leans closer, and you’re scared of where this is going.
“Oh, apologies!” Alfred. “I was going to see if miss [Y/N] needed stitches, or if you did, Bruce?”
Bruce shakes his head. “Just a few bruises, Alfred. However, [Y/N] might need your help.”
You let Alfred lead you to the kitchen, where he examined the cut. Whilst your heart tried to recover from whatever was going to happen in the bathroom.
Yes, you may have been a struggling college graduate, and a ex-burglar. But, you’re Bruce Wayne’s secretary first and Batmans sidekick secondly.
Masterlist
content warnings; short chapter, sorry
taglist; @jellyfish-tae @justservingcant
Hong Kong was busy. Bruce and Lucius were occupying themselves in LSI Holdings, whilst you went actually sight seeing.
The shops were interesting, though you brought no proper currency with you to buy anything.
You left a shop, maybe with something in your pocket when you bumped into Bruce.
“Oh, hello.” He says, his hands fall onto your arms.
“Hello, Bruce.”
“Miss!”
You jump, looking behind you. An employee of the shop is walking towards you.
“Best be leaving.” You say, grabbing Bruce’s arm and rush through the shopping centre.
He laughs. “Seriously?”
You shrug. “Old habits die hard, Bruce.”
He shakes his head.
“Lucius has everything in place for tonight.” Bruce speaks, as you’re out of the doors of the centre. “Are you still up for it?”
You look at him, raising a brow. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Bruce sighs. “These men aren’t like the guys in Gotham.”
You nod. “And? I can handle myself.”
It’s his turn to raise a brow. “Can you?”
You slap his arm with the back of your hand. “Now, you’re just being rude.”
You stood on the side of the building, Bruce was on the other side, talking to you through the comms in your ear. The power goes out.
“Ready?” His voice crackles through.
You take a deep breath. “Ready.”
He jumps off his side, landing into the window.
You follow his move, jumping down, using a more safe approach, but you get on the floor, helping Batman with the gun-welding men.
They seemed to be more focused on Batman, and you used that to your advantage, sneaking behind them, knocking them unconscious.
Batman focuses on getting Lau, whilst you fight the remaining men.
When the police arrive, Batman and you are behind Lau, shooting out a flashing parachute for Lucius’ plane to pick up.
The next morning, Lau is sitting outside for Gordon.
The following evening, you’re standing in Bruce’s penthouse for Harvey Dent’s fundraiser, hosted by Bruce, himself.
You walked around the place, having a nosey at the paintings, the fancy vases, the very expensive curtains and bedsheets.
“Well?”
You gasp, turning around. “Jesus, Bruce!”
He laughs.
“You have to stop scaring me.” You move closer to him.
“Just wanted to know what you thought of the place?” His hand comes to your shoulder. “And look at you!”
You laugh. “What?”
“That dress, it is gorgeous.”
No matter how many times he compliments you, you always get flustered, ready to drop dead of a heart attack.
“Thanks.” You nod. “And the place is nice.”
“Nice?” He raises a brow.
You look around. “Well.. it’s very showy.”
He hums. “Not your taste?”
You shrug. “I don’t have your money to show off.” You mean to play it as a joke, not show that you’re shocked at how expensive those are, or how the bed sheets are clearly designer-made.
He looks at you with pity. You want to slap yourself.
“Sorry.” You whisper. “Sometimes I forget how rich the batman really is…”
He shushes you, raising a finger to his lip. “Can’t joke like that now, sweetheart. Not tonight.”
You nod. He takes back to the main room, where it’s gotten busier and louder.
Rachel and Dent, himself, are clearly the main attraction of the night, since they have put all the criminals into Gordon’s office.
You don’t remember when Bruce left your side to take a phone call, or when Harvey never showed up again, but when the Joker steps out of the elevator, the light in your pocket stops.
You had missed your chance to go with Bruce without it being suspicious. Rachel is at your side, looking ready to shit herself.
Yes, you may have been a struggling college graduate, and a ex-burglar. But, you’re Bruce Wayne’s secretary first and Batmans sidekick secondly.
Masterlist
Content warnings; now set during the dark knight era, slight age gap (25+33)
taglist; @jellyfish-tae @justservingcant
2007
Soon after Bruce revealed who Batman was to you, in your apartment. It had been awkward between you two – knowing when he had to explain to others about his bruises, when you know the truth now.
In some official-unofficial way, you’ve became his sidekick. The press button he gave became upgraded to a small signal to let you know he needed help.
He even gave you an upgraded suit. It was a much stronger material than what you had borrowed from Lucius old office. If you looked closely enough, it was almost a duplicate of his suit, except there was no bat symbol over your chest.
The mask he gave you was a small piece. It covered your eyebrows and went down with an arch to your cheekbones. No bat ears in sight.
When you arrived at the office, it was sitting at your desk. Bruce no where to be seen. Lucius had walked past to see you observing the box.
“I believe Bruce wants you to open that later, [Y/N].”
So when you went home that evening and tried it on, everything fit perfectly.
He sat as his desk when you walked in the next day. You leaned against his doorway, he looked up and smirked at you.
“Well?”
You snort. “How did you know my measurements?”
He shrugs and leans back in his chair, hands interlocked. His eyes never leaving yours. “I have a good pair of eyes.”
You shake your head. “What?”
Shrugging it off, you walk into the office, closing the door. “So, am I some sort of sidekick, now?”
He nods. “If you wish.”
You sigh, licking your lips. “Does that mean I have to stop my extra hobby?”
He laughs. “Sweetheart, if you want a raise, so be it.”
And he does give you a raise. Your night gear seemingly useless now that you’re out at night with Batman, with your own grappling hook, and personal training from him.
Even your suit had its own spot in his “batcave”.
2008
This morning you actually woke up in time, and was standing outside Wayne Enterprises way earlier than you usual would.
You had printed sheets that Bruce would need for the meeting with Mister Lau, and when you went into his office, he wasn’t there.
He arrived later that day, when Mister Lau was due to present his business in front of the board.
He sat next to you and looked clueless.
“Bruce,” you whispered, trying to keep up your professionalism. He leans forward. “Do you think the sheets I leave on your desk are for you to wipe your ass with?”
That makes him stifle a chuckle, and lean back in his seat, as you continued to take notes about Mister Lau’s points.
Five minutes later, you can hear snoring beside you. Lucius wrapped up the meeting, and led Mister Lau and others out of the room.
“Bruce!” You slapped his arm.
He shoots up in pain, grabbing his arm. “Fuck!”
Your brows shoot up. “Oh, shit, sorry.”
He sighs. “It’s fine.” Bruce stands up.
“What happened?” You follow him.
“Copycats, Scarecrow,” he turns back to you. “And dogs.”
You laugh. “Did a chihuahua nibble on you?”
He rolls his eyes. “No, it was one of those big ones. Y’know, the… I don’t know what they’re called. M‘not a dog person.”
He opens the door to let you out, following behind you.
“I prefer cats myself.” You reply, even if he wasn’t asking.
Bruce nods, hands in pockets. “Yeah, they’re alright.”
Lucius met you two from the other hallway. Bruce and him talked about how Lau’s business was too suspicious, and could be illegal work going on behind closed doors. Eventually, Bruce asked for a new suit.
“And [Y/N] needs a cape.”
You raise your head from your notes – that were now useless since Bruce wanted to cancel the deal. “I do?”
Bruce nods. “Both of us need to be able to float.”
You sigh. “I’m scared of heights enough.”
Lucius laughs. “Don’t worry, [Y/N]. Just close your eyes and hope for the best.”
As you stood in front of a mirror, trying on the new cape, it was black, red underneath.
“It suits you, miss [Y/N].” Alfred speaks.
“You think, Alfred?” You moved and it whooshed behind you. “I just think Batty is wanting a protégé.”
He laughs at that as your beeper on the small desk beeps and flashes white.
“Duty calls, miss.” Alfred grins.
You smile as you turn to leave, picking up your mask you leave.
You stood on the police stations rooftop, with Harvey Dent and Batman.
Dent didn’t see you arrive. Your skills of silent moving still comes in handy.
“Jesus!” He yelps when he sees you.
You nod. “Hello, Dent.”
“Another one, seriously?” Harvey asks the bat.
Batman nods. “Needed extra hands.”
“And what are you called, miss?” Harvey turns to you.
You look at Batman, then back at Harvey. “That hasn’t been discussed, yet.”
Harvey laughs in disbelief. “Great, another vigilante, who’s unnamed. You trust her?”
Batman nods. “With my life.”
You look at him, shocked by his answer.
Gordon walks through the rooftop door.
The discussion became about Lau, his journey to Hong Kong, marked bills, and distrust in both Harvey and Gordon’s department.
Gordon had seen you once or twice, so your presence wasn’t a shock to him.
When Harvey confirmed that if Bruce brings back Lau from Hong Kong, it wouldn’t be wasted. You and him both disappeared into the shadows.
[Y/N] was a neighbour of Peter ‘Steele’ Ratajczyk’s, who had seen her as another sister. When she starts her own band, it’s his best friend, Josh Silver, who catches her eye.
Masterlist
Content warnings; marriage (gasp), pregnancy?? (double gasp) ((acting as if I haven’t had this all planned out since the start))
August 1998
As soon as your mother got word that you were engaged, she already thought you were behind on the planning. She had even called Madeline to come over to help plan. Abby had walked all over your mother’s house – your mother was just happy to be able to baby another little girl.
You weren’t even paying attention to your mother’s rambling, as you were brushing back Abby’s curly hair.
“[Y/N]!” Your mother’s screech scares the toddler.
“Mom!?” You reply.
“This is your wedding, you should at least pretend to be interested.” She starts flipping through these magazines. “I’m thinking something like this dress.”
“I’d rather die.”
“She’d rather die.”
You and Madeline say in unison.
Your mother groans. “Why do I even try!?”
Madeline sighs. “How about–”
Josh walks into the war zone.
“Oh, great. Let Josh pick everything for the wedding.” Your mother speaks up. You want to bash your head against the table.
Josh raises a brow to you and Madeline, both of you sigh.
“Have you come to save us?” You ask.
Josh laughs. “Not going well then?”
He hears your mother mumble under her breath as she moves past you all to head into the living room.
You bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing. “It’s going amazing.”
Madeline had left to buckle Abby in her car seat to meet you back at your house.
“Josh, I would rather marry you in my pajamas, just us, than have my every single family member sit and stare at me.”
He nods along. “Makes sense.”
You lean into his body. “You’re supposed to agree and say that you’d love me any way.”
He kisses your head. “You know I do.”
You sigh. “We should just sign a marriage certificate, and drink the night away.”
“We can do that.”
You raise your head from his shoulder. “Really?”
“If that’s what you want.”
And that’s what you two did. You signed a license, with your mother as your witness, Peter as Josh’s witness. And that was that.
Officially married in September.
Your parents left early from the party, but that didn’t stop the rest of you from continuing. Jeremy was somehow invited, obviously his camera got involved, asking you what it was like to be married, and to not call this engagement off.
You were quick to shove the camera away, laughing as Kenny got Jeremy into a chokehold.
•
December 1998
Joel – or in reality was Kacey – hosted a “just because” party. Darragh and his girlfriend had arrived and left before you could blink. Peter was talking to one of Kacey’s bandmates. Josh and Joel were smoking outside.
You quickly walked to the toilet, doing your business. As you washed your hands, you noticed a pregnancy test box in the bathroom trash. You didn’t pay much mind – what Kacey and Joel were planning was none of your business.
Until you did a double take. You really stared and really thought. Drying your hands, you counted the weeks and months since your last period.
“Oh, fuck.”
You’re quick to leave the bathroom, almost running in Peter.
“Hey, you okay?” His hands are on your arms. “Look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
You sigh, try to laugh it off. “I’m fine. Just really tired.”
You gulped. “Where’s Josh?”
“Leavin’ already?” He asks. You just nod and move past to get to Josh.
•
The following week, you didn’t tell Josh what was wrong with you. Why you were starting to get sick, why you weren’t smoking or drinking anymore. Why you and Madeline’s phone conversations were now very private.
You felt terrible, not telling him. But you were terrified to tell him.
It wasn’t until you were vomiting into the toilet bowl for the fifth time this night. The smell of the raw food turned your stomach.
You heard footsteps. Then a hand was holding back your hair.
“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”
You just sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“What’re you sorry for?”
You go to wipe the vomit from the corners of your mouth, but Josh is already there with a facecloth.
“We didn’t really get around to talking about kids.” You reply.
He laughs, either at you or at the situation. Either way, you wanted to cry.
His hand holds your face. “Do you want a kid?”
You shrug, before nodding. Quietly , you speak up. “Yeah.”
Josh nods. “Then, so do I.”
You go to speak. He continues. “Not because you just want to. I want kids, too.”
You laugh. “Kids? More than one?”
“Okay, get past this one first and see how it goes.”
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