Johnny the Hyperfixating Maniac

Saying “yeah bro I move exactly like a jumping spider when I get drunk” and then watching everyone flinch every time I tense my legs after taking a sip of my vermouth

I only follow back freaks and creatures of the night. I’m sure you understand

*emerges from headphones covered in blood* the album's really good you should listen

The beginning.

I want to fucking wrap my car around a tree and die

[you kill me but I clip through the floor so you can't loot my corpse as my final act of revenge]

Update: this is the best post I've ever made because everyone is sharing their Warm Beverage recipes in the notes. Go check the notes for more Warm Beverages That Will Fix You.

“I can fix him” girl you need to fix that sleep schedule first