Unstoppable.

I’m not sure why we think about people more than ever, once they’re gone. It shouldn’t be that way. Still, I find myself thinking about my dad an awful lot lately, and it seems like that wasn’t always the case. There was always something to occupy my mind, my time, and my space, pushing out the important stuff, like time with my old man. I literally cannot think of anyone who worked and fought harder than he did. He sacrificed every day for the benefit of his family. Can I say the same? Right now, I’m not sure. I feel small and selfish, standing in the shadow of the best man I’ve ever known. I remember a time when I was having trouble paying some bills. Dad’s advice? Skip a meal or two. Seriously. That’s what he would have done. I got through, but I can’t remember how. I am, however, certain that I didn’t miss any meals. I hadn’t learned how to sacrifice. I don’t know if I have yet, to be honest. 

Sacrifice. 

One of my most painful memories is of a conversation with my stepmom, from right after Dad’s diagnosis. She told me what he said to her after he got the news. “At least it was me, and not one of my boys.” 

If I’m in Dad’s shadow, it’s only because he’s always been standing over me, protecting and providing for me. 

Today is a strength training day, and the workout was Ice Cream Fitness 5x5 Workout A. Since I didn’t go to bed until around 1:30 this morning, I didn’t get up until 30 minutes before work, so I decided to go to the gym on my lunch break, with the permission of my coworkers to take a longer lunch.

Goblet (Goblin) Squats 45#x1x3, 60#x1x3, 75#x5x5

Wide Grip Bench Press 75#x5x5

Bent Over Rows 60#x5x5

Barbell Shrugs 110#x5x5

Skullcrushers 45#x3x8

Straight Bar Curls 50#x3x8

Back Extensions w/ 15# 3X10

Cable Crunches w/ 45# 3x10

My thoughts: That was a long dang lunch, made longer by the fact that I felt shaky after my workout and decided to get takeout instead of going home and cooking. My lunch was healthy - steak fajitas with no rice, beans, or tortillas, mixed veg on the side, and half of a sweet potato - but it cost kind of a lot of time away from work plus the money spend on it. That’s the result of poor planning. It made me think about my processes, and how I can improve them. 

What could I have done differently? For starters, If I’d gone to bed two hours earlier, I could have gotten up 90 minutes earlier, had time to work out before my shift, still gotten to work on time, and I’d have gotten an extra half-hour of sleep. My lunch wouldn’t have needed to be as long, and my coworkers wouldn’t have had to cover my end of the (admittedly minor) workload for that time. I do enjoy sleeping in just a bit on Saturdays, but when I think about my dad, who met his challenges head-on, and insisted on getting up, showering, and getting dressed every day, even when receiving chemotherapy. He didn’t let that hardship keep him from greeting his day, rather than just letting it happen around him. Dad greeted the day; I can do the same.

It’s far easier to ride a wave of success than to rebuild one after failure.