avery listened intently as the words came from moira’s lips, in all honesty, from the moment she had begun he tried to turn his attention more towards the piano accompanying her words instead of putting his entire focus on what the girl was singing. all the words felt as if they were aimed at him, felt as if she had written them specifically with him in mind and they hurt. he wouldn’t lie about that. throughout the entire dilemma of these two he never once thought about the other side. he never really once considered what pain he may have caused moira; selfishness being one of his strongest traits. and now sitting here, hearing her sing these words, especially when the music had stopped and it was just her vocals, he felt them sting a little more. he felt as if the entire thing was all starting to settle in; he was finally having to face what she felt. her true feelings, not the candy coated feelings she had been putting up in front of him every single time the two talked.
before avery responded to her question, he slowly stood up, excusing himself from the room for just a moment. as he walked out the studio, he left the main building from the back, avoiding any interaction with anyone that he had passed. pulling out a prepared joint from his front pocket, he lit it up, taking a couple hits and releasing the smoke into the air. he needed to keep himself from getting too overwhelmed from all that was happening. something so simple as creating music with moira was something huge. something that he once imagined would be just as casual and easy as spending a saturday driving through california with one another had become like climbing a mountain. but he was willing to get it done, he was hoping this would be their first step towards something. something good.
avery made his way back to the studio, acting as if he never left, responding to the last thing that he had heard moira say. “ha, you sure ‘bout that. ” he laughed a little bit, not really thinking too much about the her. the her could be a numerous amount of people. avery had his fair share of people in the past couple months, meaningless touches and even more meaningless conversations to fill up all the voids that the people he truly cared for had built in his body. grabbing his backpack from up off the floor and pulling out an old style notepad and pencil, he started tapping it against the pad. “yeah, its alright. i think i can make it better.” he smirked, raising his eyebrows, a rare moment of avery actually being confident in himself showing through. avery sat, eyes looking down at the ground, as he hummed what he had just heard moira play on the piano. if you wanted me you would just say so
and if i were you, i would never let me go, he scribbled across the notepad. feeling that maybe he should write to moira in the same way that he felt her words come at him. scribbling in silence for about ten minutes, avery looked up, “what do you think about this?” keeping in mind of the piano, avery began to speak out loud, sharing the work he had created, feeling confident and nervous all at the same time.
“now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed, always missing people that i shouldn’t be missing. sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance. i know that i control my thoughts and i should stop reminiscing, but i learned from my dad that it’s good to have feelings. when love and trust are gone, i guess this is moving on.”
“so what do you say?” he questioned as his eyes made contact with moira’s for possibly the first time since the two had entered the building. “some stuff that should come before it, some shit that should come after it, but i mean, for a little piece, what do you think?”