JK6I

*old man voice* back in my day tik tok was a ke$ha song

ITS SO CUTE I HAVE TO REBLOG IT AGAINN

I WANNA BE THIS KIND OF PARENT

#i was surprised this didnt end in some sort of murder #i’ve been on tumblr too long

“Ye”

Next time you go walking around barefoot in the water…

NOPE

No worries, that’s a Bobbit Worm. They live on the ocean floor, and unless you’re able to withstand a ton of pressure, you likely wouldn’t have your toesies nipped off by one since they live deeper than people walk on the ocean floor. Bobbit Worms are kinda cool. And they were named after Laurena Bobbit, who cut off her abusive husband’s penis and threw it out of her car window as she drove off.

Wait.

wat

in theory its super bad when straight dudes go “hey ur a lesbian? we both like girls we’re the same!” but in reality this has happened twice and most recently was today when a guy i was training in the frame shop went “oh you’re gay?” “yea” “that’s cool. it’s cool that you told me. we both like girls and star wars so it’s nice that we have a shift together :)” like god damn it brett you’re so respectful and thoughtful with your goddamned words

the posts that are like “straight men can never love a woman like a lesbian” are cool jokes and stuff but u gotta really appreciate dudes who have no idea what its like to be gay but try their best to try and relate. “we both like hot ladies” you know what, ryan? that’s close enough. i appreciate that.

@staff wench, ha! for what reason is thou angry? because mine own pussy poppeth sev’rely and thine own does not?

You wake up tomorrow to find yourself in the world of the last video game you played. How screwed/lucky are you?

In all fairness shock is a hell of a drug