i call myself a jirai because im a coward. because im comfortable in anger and have found i genuinely lost the ability to want to connect with new people. because im not brave enough to go back to therapy and have an older woman want to FIX ME like my mom did like YOU did. yet, being in therapy used to keep me in check. i have a pseudo-caregiver to report to weekly that will tell me drugs are bad. she will leave me. because im skipping class like a coward. my art is uninspired and shamefully bloody. i obsess over my ex in a way i cant explain. we feel eachothers telepathy. i repeatedly pray out loud but God doesnt really help me distinguish reality and delusion, he says this is my suffering, not to question but to suffer to console him. me and my ex encountered satan in the same way, together, shrouded by codependency, trauma, manic psychoses, alcohol. it destroyed both of us but i cant help but wonder if it means we will ever experience God in the same way together.

my connection with him is beyond ex beyond trauma bond beyond schizoafffective beyond bipolar beyond surface reality beyond what it seems beyond what he can comprehend beyond fucking delusion beyond possession beyond romance beyond sex beyond ptsd beyond what you can define as twin flame. we are carving out progressions in the human consciousness, together. our telepathy is something different

fuck al u bitcvhes ukcking labels

bomb

im gonna make a jiraitwt cuz uuuhhhh bored

feel like commiting theft of alcoholic bevereges at a certain grocery store hashtag landmine

feliz navidad i like to play in the snow

no im tripping tn i think :3

im gonna trip tn xd