bad habits are hard to break.

“I was just trying to make you a compliment without sounding mean, so thank you for helping me with that!” Ronit laughed. She gave an ostentatious sigh of relief when Jimmy stated that he liked the food. “I’m glad to hear that! I suppose Chinese it is next time, then.” It certainly made her happy that he had suggested they meet again (though admittedly, she had been fishing for that), but maybe even more happy did it make her that he was now sharing what he had previously alluded to. 

Ronit nodded along, having interrupted her eating and sipping on her wine instead. It might have sounded complicated upon first hearing it, but wasn’t children with three different partners approaching average in America by now? “You know,” she began, swishing her wine around in its glass, “where I grew up, people usually get married at eighteen or nineteen to someone they often don’t even really know, then they have five or six children and stay together until one of them dies. And for some people, that works out really, really well. But other people- they try to follow that model, and it just makes them so miserable, but they stick it out, and every day you can see them become a little more broken inside. So it just makes you sound like someone for whom that model doesn’t work, and it obviously hasn’t worked for me either.” 

When he got to the part about his latest partner though, Ronit did have to audibly swallow. “I can’t imagine your friend particularly liked that,” she first commented, rather flatly, dipping bread into tomato sauce. “Or your children?” Jimmy had accompanied the story with a more than generous dose of pre-emptive self-defense, which indicated that he must have had negative experiences sharing it. Why did she even feel like she was having a problem with this? Ronit had to realize she wasn’t exactly in a position to judge, seeing as Veda could have been her- well, maybe not daughter, but definitely niece. And if there was one thing she hated, it was people judging her life. Maybe it was her annoyance at all the ‘my dad left us’-stories she had encountered after she had left her little Mea Shearim bubble, and her anger at all the Western men who had seemed to assume she had one foot in her grave even though she, Ronit, was trying so hard with her salad-eating and running and botoxing. Was it possible that there was sometimes actual love, or something like it, behind those stories? 

“Tell me about her,” Ronit prompted, forcing her features into an encouraging smile. “About Holland.” 

.

“Well- I was planning on staying with Julia, my ex-wife. She was the one who divorced me and then I met Aubrey straight away… I was planning on staying with her forever, too but…” Jimmy trailed off, rubbing the back of his head. “I don’t make the best choices. I didn’t cheat on her.” He shook his head quickly. “But, I have some problems, some issues I’m working out in therapy right now and those things got in the way and I suppose she had enough.”

Jimmy didn’t blame her, looking back on his behaviour now. Hindsight was 20/20.

“I’ve not been on my own for over 30 years, so I’m getting used to it.” He sipped on his wine. “How do you find it? Being on your own?” Jimmy wondered if it was just him that feared loneliness, trapped with your own mind with nothing to distract you.

He let out a low laugh and nodded. “Yeah, my children weren’t happy. They still aren’t, really,” Jimmy admitted. “But my friend—Hank—he passed away last June, before we got together.”

Jimmy let out a low breath when Ronit asked him to talk to her about Holland. Where did he begin?

“She’s… I don’t know. Different, I guess. To other people I’ve dated,” he started. “She calls me out on a lot of my shit and no one has really done that before. She makes me think about things, rather than just acting first and thinking afterwards. And she was there for me when Hank passed away, her dad, and I was there for her too. Her mom passed away when she was younger, in her teens and… then she was there. A lot. And she was there when Aubrey ended our relationship. She understands a lot of what I’ve experienced. Loss. Addiction.” Jimmy rubbed the back of his head again, knowing that he was spilling far too much of himself to a friend but if Ronit wanted to get to know him, she needed to know him. Jimmy was no longer ashamed to talk about his addiction. It was a part of him. “I have a gambling addiction.”

He fiddled with the bottom of his wine glass, eyes darting behind his glasses to the table and then up to Ronit. “I bet you’re wondering who on Earth you’ve invited into your home now.” Jimmy joked. “I haven’t put a bet on in months, and I’m doing really well with that. I’m learning to be on my own.” He shrugged. “What else do you want to know about Holland?”

Location: At or near a Pride event… open to all!

@slchat​

Honestly, Waves didn’t care if anybody thought they looked ridiculous in their rainbow unicorn fairy costume. They’d stopped caring how others viewed them a long time ago; and they’d come to realize their life had been better off since then. Besides, their costume had brought bright smiles to the faces of many passerbys already. Some individuals had actually asked for a photo with the brunette; and one adorable little cutie even came running over { much to the momentary panic of their dads } to show off that they too had a magic wand and fairy wings! 

As they walked down the street with Atlas { their service dog who had swapped his usual pink vest out for a pastel rainbow one } in tow, they noticed someone’s gaze lingering a bit longer than normal. This led the brunette to feel the need to say something. “If you want a photo, you better act now. I’m thinking about charging soon.” They teased, hoping the joking tone came across in their voice. Sometimes they weren’t entirely sure. 

There weren’t many things that frightened Jimmy. Aside from the ocean, and being alone, there was only one other thing. And it was walking down the road towards him. He kept his eyes focused on the dog. No matter how happy the thing might look, he couldn’t help be cautious. Which then caught the owner’s attention. 

“Oh-- sorry. No. I’m just... Not a massive fan of dogs.” Jimmy replied, finally looking up at the dog’s owner. When he saw that they were dressed as a unicorn fairy, a smile finally graced his lips. “I wasn’t staring at you I promise... I like your costume, though.”

She didn’t want to invite herself, not unless she could contribute something, so the suggestion of ordering in was great to jump off of. “Now I’m actually kind of hoping that this Shakshouka-attempt did not go too well. I’d love to get to know a good Chinese place in Silverlake.” When Jimmy made a self-deprecating remark about his appearance, Ronit had to smile: “Please don’t put yourself down. I know everything that ends in ‘for your age’ sounds like a backhanded compliment, but I have fond memories of the times I could eat pizza during a night study session and still fit into my pants. So no, no, I can’t tell.” 

“No, it’s okay, really,” Ronit shook her head intently, and truth be told, she meant it: She didn’t want to ruin anything, neither her own life (that one she had always at least tried) nor other people’s (that one she had a less than great track record in), but she felt like her not ruining things required her to understand them, and she had admittedly hoped to coming closer to that today: “That’s another of those things about getting older, isn’t it? That at some point everyone has a story, and it would be illusory to expect anyone to not be affected by what has happened to them. And that does sound upsetting.” And sounded exactly like what she had been trying to avoid for decades by starting to run whenever anything had even approached relationship territory. “But I have to admit…” Ronit paused, collecting her thoughts while drawing little רs on her napkin with her fork, “I’m a little bit confused - the woman with the cat, or the mother of your twins?” She hoped that didn’t sound too probing, but she did feel the question was needed at this point, and rewarded herself for it with a generous gulp of wine. “If you want to talk about it, of course.”

“Like the British apparently do with toast, yes,” Ronit smiled. She hesitated only for a moment, biting her lip until she remembered her lipstick and realized her earlier question had broken some sort of dam inside her. So with a sheepish grin, she pushed the plate away, tore off a piece of bread and set to work on another yolk. “So what do you think?” 

Jimmy laughed. “So I look good for my age?” He asked with a teasing smirk. “Don’t worry, if we don’t get to Chinese tonight we’ll just have to order some the next time we’re together.” He really enjoyed Ronit’s company. It was nice to make friends with people who weren’t insistent on gambling every single minute of the day. It was refreshing, hopeful. “Mm, it tastes great.” He answered with a nod, taking some more bread and dunking.

He ate as Ronit talked about relationships, and then asked a question. This would take some explaining, but Jimmy kept mentioning Holland so he felt like Ronit deserved answers.

“Both,” he admitted. “They’re the same person. It’s—a complicated story, five children with three women doesn’t make me sound great does it?” Jimmy hummed a laugh. “I was married when I was in my 20’s and Julia and I had Bowie but then we got divorced and I met Aubrey. We were together for 25 years and had two girls.” That much was fine. That much was acceptable to most. People got together, got married, had kids, broke up, met someone else… But afterwards, they usually didn’t sleep with their best friend’s daughters.

“And then there’s Holland. My ex with the cat, mother to the twins.” He drank some more wine, taking a long sip. “Now, feel free to judge away, God knows everyone else has. She’s my best friend’s daughter.” Jimmy finally spilled the beans, wondering what Ronit would think of that. Would their friendship be over now, when it was just starting?

Jimmy had learnt, though, that being honest and open about things was the most important thing. There was no point in hiding things, people would find out one way or the other.

INSTAGRAM: jimmyshore posted a photo

"I'm a pretty easy going guy but what angers me is when people talk bad about my family. Say whatever you want about me, but don't talk about the people I care about."

"English and French. Italian I know a little. Some Spanish too."

I am. I'm really proud of all of them. They're all so resilient, hard working, fantastic human beings. I give their mothers credit for that.

What relationship? I don't have a relationship to be reliant on. I'm still learning to be on my own. When you've gone from relationship to relationship for over 30 years, it's going to be difficult to adjust to being alone.