mojo

In the last 5months the ease I have found in my brain to study what I need to has been slowly increasing almost out of no where.

Motivation/drive/discipline/ passion was so futile for me from school age until the middle of last year (2022)

I’ve evidentially veered away from revision for grades, extra curricular, various jobs and even my own passion projects because I simply found it too hard to keep it going even when I didn’t feel like doing it.

I don’t really have a fucking clue how the shift began, maybe it’s the impending age and thinking right, quarter of a century- what have you done?

The answer always feels like “not a lot.”

But my perspective is changing, the belief in myself is glimmering away behind the almighty rocks of imposter syndrome and self doubt.

The funniest part? My brain has been asking itself semi-subconsciously “uhh, don’t you wanna stop this now? you usually would have given up like 30minutes ago.” And the genuine answer is more often, “no, I’m good. I want to do some more, I NEED to do some more.”