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Harvey: I see the best lawyer every day.

Mike: Where?

The oldest vampire prince and his newlywed husband who is not yet two hundred years old.

The setting: afraid of sunlight (but not that afraid, just finds it annoying), and has red eyes (when feeding or angry). Mike is one of the very first vampires but has been sleeping, sleeping, sleeping, sleeping, sleeping—so he missed a lot. He wakes up and finds himself completely broke. Humans and vampires coexist peacefully. Technology has advanced. Cheaper, better-tasting synthetic blood is now available. "Where am I? Is this still before Christ?"

Drew this a while ago and forgot to post it.

My friend wasn't really happy with a few commission pieces she got, so I helped her fix them up.

Harvey was forced to take on a divorce case, and the parents were fighting so bitterly over their child that the kid ran away from home on a rainy night to find Harvey. It made James so frustrated he wanted to cry. The child was sobbing while trying to squeeze into Harvey’s arms, and James stood in the way, blocking him from getting closer.

The kid cried, “I only have you now, sob sob sob...”

James was absolutely furious.

From then on, Harvey had one more reason to turn down divorce cases: James would throw a massive tantrum.

Even later, when James grew up—fully grown and sensible—his reaction to hearing about a divorce case was still to burst into tears, though it was clearly a terrible performance, all sound and no tears, and eventually he couldn’t even be bothered to act. He’d just make weird wailing noises like “Wah wah wah ah ah ah.”

Harvey: “Sorry, my son disagrees. You saw his reaction.”

---

“Why won’t you take divorce cases?”

“Because of the child. Children are the hardest to deal with.”

“But this couple doesn’t even have kids.”

“What does that have to do with me? I’m talking about my child!”

But the process was extremely difficult—every argument Mike came up with was shot down by Harvey without a single gap. Mike finally blurted out, "This just isn't working."

Harvey calmly told him, "Of course it works. This was a real case I once handled."

Mike asked curiously, "So what did you end up negotiating it down to?"

Harvey replied, "Zero. Not only that, I made them pay us—because I found a dirty little secret they'd been hiding."

Mike thought for a moment, then realized, "So all those arguments I just made…?"

Harvey said, "Every one you made, I made back then. And not just those—I also asked them about this and that."

Mike sighed, "You must have been pretty desperate back then."