MAN OF CONSTANT SORROW

– @maudlinman​!

     “Oh! I don’t work down there no more. I don’t think I’m gonna ever go back there again, t’be honest. Dancin’ at Aphrodite’s Lounge can get me a lot more money in one single night and a lotta the girls - I mean, the girls who’re the big stars, get these really pretty posters. The type you’d see like, Marilyn Monroe on in the old days! I just really, really like um, the whole vibe over there more than standin’ on my feet in a ice cream parlor, y’know?”

REPOST AND FILL IN WITH DETAILS ABOUT YOUR MUSE AS IF THEY WERE ACHARACTER IN A DATING SIM.

NAME: jett calloway THEIR PROFESSION: janitor WHERE THEY CAN BE FOUND: office buildings after close, in bars stealing unattended or abandoned drinks, his trailer, the park, the woods FAVOURITE FOOD TYPE: burgers, pizza, milkshakes. all of them make him sick but he likes them anyway. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: whiskey and beer FAVOURITE TRAIT ( romance, passion, sexuality, talent, flirtation, sentiment, joy ): patience, though he doesn’t really realize that. he’s going to gravitate most towards people who can tolerate his obnoxious behavior and still be kind to him. WHERE THEY WOULD GO ON A DATE: a park, the grocery store, a graveyard IDEAL GIFT: video games, jewelry with skulls or crosses on it, horror movies, french fries, a snack of any sort honestly WHEN WILL THEY DRINK ALCOHOL: any time, any place HOW MANY DATES UNTIL THEY GO TO BED: this really depends on a lot of things. he’s intimidated by feminine people on a very personal level while he just finds masculine people  physically threatening, which comparatively scares him less because he finds everyone physically threatening, so typically it’s easier for him to sleep with someone masculine (not that he prefers them at all). if someone is kind to him, he’s a lot more nervous about potentially ruining that, and so sex is going to take even longer. basically, if someone isn’t all that nice and wants to bang, he’ll be fine with it, but if it’s someone who actually treats him well he’s way too nervous unless it’s been like, a year.

      “Why the fuck would I, or anyone else want to see your dick?” Eve sighs as she walks to the guest bathroom. With a quick press of a button the shower turns on. “Shower with or without your clothes, I don’t care! Just stay out of my sink.”

       Eve shuts off the water in the sink and then drags him out. “I meant your clothes go in the washing machine and you go in the shower, dumbass! If you really wanna wash in my place, I’ll turn on the shower for you okay? How does that sound?”

BUZZFEED UNSOLVED     (  accepting. )

“that’s  my  goddamn  bounty.  you  should  step  back  unless  if  you  wanna  end  up  like  him,”  Sadie says with a harsh snarl,  stepping over to the deceased body and yanking his face up to make sure it’s actually the target she was after.  she’s not willing to give him up after all the trouble she went through to catch him.

Tagged by: fucking stole it....... i’m a bad boy......  Tagging: you

Name? “Uh, Jett. Calloway. Jett ain’t short for nothin’. I don’t think.”

Are you single? “Yeah. I mean, I get ladies. Guys, too. I mean --- I don’t gotta be single, it’s, i-it’s by choice, I’on got time for all that, it’s, it’s a lotta work.”

Are you happy? “Yeah. I mean, most people’s happy, right?”

Are you angry? "No.”

Are your parents still married? “No.”

NINE FACTS –

Birth Place? “Texas.”

Hair Color? ”It’s... I mean, it’s black. It’s... light black.”

Eye Color? “Brown. Some people say they look black. I’on know. I don’t be lookin’.”

Birthday? “Uh, July. Uh... the... fourth. Yeah, the fireworks day, or whatever.”

Mood? “I’onno. Fine. Whatever.”

Gender? “Uh, dude.”

Summer or winter? "I like summer. I’on like wearin’ all them coats and shit and bein’ cold. I’on really get hot like that.”

Morning or afternoon? "I’on really be awake at the mornin’, like, I got better shit to do all night. Like, I ain’t some fuckin’ loser with some fancy job at the Pizza Hut ‘n gotta be up at the fuckin’, ass crack ‘a dawn, fuckin’, ten in the goddamn morning.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE ? –

Are you in love? "No.”

Do you believe in love at first sight? "No. That shit’s stupid. People don’ really love each other, anyways, they just wanna fuck.”

Who ended your last relationship? "What? It’s... I mean, I’on even remember, like, it’s... I date a whole lotta folks, y’know, so I can’t be, uh, keepin’ up with what one’s, uh, last, or, who left who at the gas station.”

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? "No. I mean, maybe. Probably. Sure.”

Are you afraid of commitments? "No. I ain’t afraid of shit. I’on like no hospitals, though, but, like, I still ain’t afraid of shit, I ain’t no fuckin’ pussy.”

Have you hugged someone within the last week? "I mean, yeah, sure. That’s like, normal, or whatever.”

Have you ever had a secret admirer? "Uh, I mean, probably. Like, lots of people want my dick, y’know. People think I’m good lookin’. Yeah, they do.”

Have you ever broken your own heart? "I’on know what that means, if I’m bein’ real. I mean, I ain’t stupid, so, like, I mean, yeah, I get it, like, no, I get it.”

SIX CHOICES –

Love or lust? "What that mean?”

Lemonade or iced tea? “I kinda like ‘em both, but y’know, the real good shit, that’s that shit, like, the Arizona tea with the old white dude on it? It’s got both. That’s the real good shit, right there.”

Cats or Dogs? "I like ‘em both. I’on got no cat, I got a dog, but, I could have a cat, if I wanted one. I mean, I guess a raccoon’s like a cat. Or, uh, like, a dog with hands. And a cat head. Like, uh, whattaya call ‘em, out the Greek or Egyptian shit? Them creatures with them head that go on the wrong kinda body? Unicorns, I guess.”

A few best friends or many regular friends? "Uh... I got all kindsa friends, y’know? A whole lotta people wanna hang out with me. I ain’t got time for all that shit, though, I’m busy.”

A wild night out or romantic night in? "I’on... like, I like partyin’, I guess. ‘Cause, like, people just be gettin’ drunk, givin’ out the free booze, then they share their drugs for free. Fuckin’ idiots. I wouldn’t give nobody no free shit.”

Day or night? "Uh, day. Just ‘cause I can see more better. I mean, I can see, any time, all the time, really fuckin’ good.”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS –

Been caught sneaking out? “I never got caught, ‘cause, I was too fuckin’ smart, y’know? Good luck catchin’ me.”

Fallen down/up the stairs? "No. I got that like, parkour shit goin’ on. Real fuckin’ ninja shit, or, like, man-cat.”

Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? "No.”

Wanted to disappear? "No.”

FOUR PREFERENCES –

Smile or eyes? "I’on know. Like, I mean, I smile, okay, just, no one sees it, ‘cause, I’on know, maybe y’all don’t be lookin’.”

Shorter or Taller? "I’on know. It don’t really matter. I mean, I’m taller ‘n lots’a folks. Lots.”

Intelligence or Attraction? "I’on like people that think they smart. Like, just ‘cause you read, like, a book or whatever don’t make you better’n me. I mean, I read books. All kinds of ‘em. Like, probably fifty.”

Hook-up or Relationship? "Whatever, man.”

FAMILY –

Do you and your family get along? “Yeah. I see my brother all’a time. I mean, I see... I get along with ‘em all. The whole thing.”

Would you say you have a “messed up life”? “No. It’s really normal. I mean... not normal normal. ‘Cause, that’s boring, y’know. But, it’s not... it’s normal.”

Have you ever ran away from home? "No.”

Have you ever gotten kicked out? “No.”

FRIENDS –

Do you secretly hate one of your friends? "That’s stupid. How’s you even friends with somebody you’on even like? That ain’t even how it works.”

Do you consider all of your friends to be good friends? “Yeah. They all like me. Like, maybe I got too many friends, y’know?”

Who is your best friend? "Uh --- uh --- Tapeworm and Garbage.”