Faux Amour

It is genuinely important to have a healthy libido as a woman. Sugaring had led to my lack of libido in my vanilla life. [Quite frankly it was the allowance that got my kitten purring while sugaring.] I definitely mentioned it during my routine gynecology check up.

Babies, please seek professional help if you don’t enjoy sex the way you used to. Your sexual performance and sugaring are definitely correlated. Sexual performance is an art we must perfect (or damn well get close to it, heaux) as sugar babies so we can ensure the stability of our allowance.

Most blogs discuss how important it is to use your looks, personality or charm to get into a man’s wallet. Okay so you’re in the wallet? Now what? You make a quick robbery & exit the premises? Or do you maintain your presence & secure the sugar? I can’t speak for you, but I vote to maintain & secure.

Its not always sexually arousing to fuck a man twice your age, but you’ve got to spice things up (for your sake moreso than his). These men are on the prowl for something a little more than what’s available at home. I’m sure if he wanted missionary he could’ve fucked his wife/ girlfriend/ Tinder date.

BUT.....

You are a sexual fiend & a conquest (per his ego). Be confident, wear amazing lingerie, get freaky, & play safe (condoms/ boundaries/ consent). My suggestions:

1. Watch soft core porn (or hardcore depending on your arrangement’s liking) and take notes. Sure, it’s unrealistic, but pay close attention to body language and facial expressions (professional productions only).

2. Learn about what your sugar daddy’s fantasies, and be the muse who serves his (reasonable) desires on a silver fucking platter.

3. Practice makes perfect! Practice on vanilla men or dildos if necessary. This will also help with sexual confidence.

4. Learn about your own sexual needs & study your anatomy. Check for spots that respond to stimuli, and spots that respond unfavorably. Communicate these to your partner if you feel necessary.

5. Work on your sexual shrills/ moans/ breathing. Figure out what level intensity he likes and match it.

For example, Phoenix (my current shark daddy) is a very alpha male personality. He loves having his ego stroked more than his dick. He loves being on top, and being in control. He did mention that his ex wife would just allow missionary & liked him being on top (how sad & boring, ik). In a suggestive yet firm manner I let him know that I was going to take control. It took him by surprise but he agreed. Being that I know he’s very masculine. I ensure first and foremost that my lingerie is very delicate, easy access, the poster child of femininity, & I accessorize with appropriate jewelry (I.E: pearls, bracelets, chokers, garter chains, etc). I spend ample time on foreplay to ensure I’m ready to go (self love cause why the fuck not, heaux). I have to move my body in grace and very delicately. I have to ensure my moans and heavy/ light breathing are in check with the current activity. (Never be animated or overtly fake in your moans) Afterwards, he likes me to stroke his ego and let him know how wonderful it was. (Compliment even if it wasn’t praise worthy. Critique with kindness if necessary.)

This completes our lesson at The Sugar Baby Sexual Performance Arts Centre (so cheesy, ik lol)

xoxo JeSuisFaux xoxo

Our skin is the largest organ on our body. We have 22 square feet of skin & it’s 8 pounds heavy! We’re in a long term relationship with our skin, whether we like it or not. Some of us constantly wish it was this way or that way. Well, it’s not going to be any other way. We’re born with an X amount of melanin in our bodies, which should be embraced not rebuked!

Women come in varying amounts of melanin. Some of us are light skinned, others of us are *drum roll please* dark skinned! The skin tone associated with stereotypes such as inferiority, uncleanliness, & ugliness. This isn’t a racial rant whatsoever, but dark skin girls have been dodging bullets from family members, friends, men, & others we simply come in contact with. In a way, I feel it does humble us, but it still doesn’t make it okay for others to discredit us.

“Ooh she’s/ you’re pretty for a dark skinned girl”. Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard that from anyone in your life! -RAISES BOTH HANDS- I’ve heard it so many times that I feel the need to raise both hands. What this phrase implies is… “Hi I’m totally judging you based on your skin color, and you’re pretty decent compared to other females in the same skin tone family as you.” This is basically what it means, and it’s typically a slap in the face. Like would it have killed you to say, “Ooh she’s/ you’re so pretty -period-” ?!

I believe females are beautiful creatures regardless of the amount of melanin they are blessed with. I’m not saying light skinned females have things easier, but I’m saying its a renown/ recurring issue dark skin females have to battle. It’s easy to discourage a dark skinned female from purchasing harmful skin bleach or undergoing expensive/ risky skin treatments. BUT…

Has anyone ever tried to go to the root of the problem that drove her to such an extent that she’s willing to compromise her health and well being? I bet you didn’t know her grandma always told her “You better learn how to cook and go to school to get any man you can get”. I bet you didn’t know her mother told her “Don’t go outside to play you’re gonna get darker!” I bet you didn’t know those girls at the playground that bullied her saying “How are you so dark? Did your mom leave you in an oven?” I bet you didn’t know that teenage boy that joked around with his friends saying “Eww her? I’m not into dark females like that man! Stop sending her messages from my phone.” I bet you didn’t know that older lady at the make up counter said “It’s so hard fitting a foundation color on a dark skinned girl. Just buy two foundations and mix them dear”.

This was a small scenario of a few taunts a dark skinned female has to endure on a daily basis. These small taunts and emotional abuse from males cause dark skinned females to resort to extreme measures. We’re damaged from society’s labels, prejudice, & discrimination. This makes us want to jump through hoops and loops to reduce the amount of melanin in our bodies. We know the dangers of hydroquinone, and we’re smart enough to read the fine print. Yet, we’re willing to disregard it in hopes that we’ll be just a tad prettier and tad lighter than our original skin color.

I want to reach out to my dark/ light skinned females and let you know that… You’re beautiful. You’re worth it & you’re loved.

If you know a dark skinned female who’s going through insecurities with her skin let her know that she needs to embrace her melanin. It’s easier said than done, but speak positivity in her/your life. When we actually start looking for alternatives to appear lighter you know we’ve been damaged by society. Know that your melanin is a blessing and not a curse. Love it cause that 22 square foot organ isn’t going anywhere! xoxo JeSuisFaux xoxo

So I’ve come across a lot of questions in the past on how to look good without compromising your bank balance. Sugaring is competitive, and as much as we love our sugar sisters… We’re all in the same bowl. There’s sugar babies who are stunting in red bottoms flaunting Rolex arm candy, and there’s sugar babies running around in denim and tops. (Totally not looking down on either.) We often forget that men are visual creatures, and most of them are attracted to a woman that knows how to dress well. If you want to be a rich man’s choicest arm candy, then you best start dressing the part. You can’t expect to have the Ritz Carlton experience with a Holiday Inn & Suites package. Money attracts money. Starting out not many of us have designer this and designer that. I certainly didn’t own anything designer starting out. Other than a few presents from family & vanilla men. So here’s how I started out… Firstly I got myself a vanilla job. Retail is great for this, plus one for those employee perks! I worked a few months to save some money for a decent wardrobe. I shopped at places like: Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshals, Nordstrom Rack, Plato’s Closet, Amiclubwear, HotMiamiStyles & Tradesy. This allowed me to purchase new, previously loved, and discounted clothing at a fraction of the MSRP (manufacturers suggested retail price). I purchased dresses, ankle pants, chiffon tops, blazers, accessories, & lingerie (new of course). The key is to avoid anything flashy for instance a black top with Boss B#%* or something like that written on it. The key is to dress professional, chic, & keep versatility in mind. When I say versatile, I mean a blazer that can be professional with a collared shirt but still look chill with a pink chiffon top when you roll up the sleeves. As a sugar baby you’ll be exposed to things women your age aren’t. Things like flying private or taking weekend/ day trips with your SD for pleasure or work. Each and every occasion needs to have an appropriate outfit. Think of all the scenarios you could possibly be in and purchase outfits accordingly. A sugar baby can never be over dressed. These men are willing to pay top dollar for women out there. Your first few sugar daddies are like your foundation pillars. Make sure you sift the salt daddies away! The first few ones need to be taking you shopping for items you cannot buy without breaking your bank account. For example, it’s Cocoa Cathy’s 22nd birthday, and her daddy asks her what she wants. Cocoa Cathy should be saying, “Well Daddy, for my birthday I’d like my allowance as usual, but I would absolutely love it if you’d be able to get me a handbag I’ve been eyeing for quite a while!” If Daddy is pure sugar he will say, “I’d be more than happy to buy you that handbag! Look it up & I’ll forward you my card details.” This is sugar! Cocoa Cathy knows that this daddy just went through a brutal divorce so she knows not to ask for a Celine. She instead opts for two handbags from the $800-1K range. She lets Daddy pick which one would look better, and of course daddy goes for the expensive one. This shows how much Daddy enjoys Cocoa Cathy’s company, and he knows that Cocoa Cathy has sophisticated taste. (just an example) You should utilize your allowance to purchase staple sugar clothing items like palazzo pants or cardigans. There’s no need for a sugar baby to be a brand ambassador wearing 20 different designer labels. Often, this gives your sugar daddy the vibe that you already have it all. Be smart when purchasing your initial sugar wardrobe. You don’t have to break your bank account doing so. We all know we’re sugaring to one day run into a Whale Daddy, but until then those 2-3K/ month daddies aren’t bad! Also make sure you still have personality! Your wardrobe can only sell you so much! Your personality really signs seals and delivers your arrangement. For my new babies, please do not wear your heart on your wrist. These men are brutal and will try to talk down to you. They will try to make you feel like you’re not worth that 2-3K allowance. That’s a huge red flag for you to move on! Never compromise your allowance range.

I hate when my vanilla bestie is like ... "Oh I work hard for my money. You literally spread your legs for a bunch of old men." & I'm like hold on real quick... That's RICH OLD MEN! You have legs to spread as well, but you choose to do that for free over your couch surfing ass boyfriend. Like bitch bye!

The patience I have for men on SA is literally this much - <- that much.

I'm not sure if anyone has been through this in their sugar journey or not, but I just don't feel the motivation to continue sugaring. I have guys messaging me/viewing my profile/ favoriting me/ kik'ing me/ texting my apps constantly, but I just don't feel like replying any of them. A pot just emailed me saying he won't be coming down for business in my city anymore, and I honestly didn't even care? Like I didn't even blink when I read his email lol. I hit him with a four word response 😳. I still have the financial needs that I had a while ago, but like right now I don't even care. My vanilla job doesn't pay enough, but it doesn't bother me. I still love sugar blogging and talking to my fellow sugar sisters, but I think I've quenched my thirst for sugaring.

When you looking fleek as fuck, but the POT flakes & doesn't reply the day you're supposed to meet.

Yes I do answer advice questions. I’m glad you’ve chosen sugaring to fulfill your financial needs, and here’s a warm welcome into the sugar bowl! It’s not for everyone, and I hope you’ve come to terms with the isolation and fright it comes with firstly. That being said, the allowance talk is different for everyone. I’m a Communication major so I tend to be a little vocal and up front with what I want. I’m good with negotiation as well, but I don’t do it unless I really like the man [which is rare]! You’re new, so I would recommend that you discuss this over SA private messages or texts because its difficult for the best of us to negotiate allowance in person or over the phone. I find that it’s easier over texts as you can have enough time to collect your thoughts and word and reword things many times. Many SBs say they like doing it in person as they get to see how he reacts to their proposal and determine whether he’s salt, Splenda, or SUGAR!

Since you’re worried/ afraid, don’t worry it happens to the best of us. We don’t want to come across as “gold diggers” “unambitious” “stagnant whore” “money thirsty prostitute” [all labels I’ve come across bios on SA/ EM]. I try to discuss things a little bit ahead of time [before POT can start talking about sex]. I try to square away allowance talks early in the sugarship so I can put in efforts to charm/ reel the POT in without worrying about being low balled or taken advantage of. I start the allowance tango by saying something along these lines:

Me: So, I’ve seen that you’ve been on here for a while now? Have you enjoyed any fulfilling & beneficial arrangements during your time here?

Him: Y/N they were abc xyz

Me: That’s nice, I’m glad you’ve had such luck in a genuine arrangement. I’m glad that you’re experienced, and that assures me that you’re serious about starting a new arrangement. In your opinion, what’s an ideal arrangement that both of us will find fulfilling and beneficial?

Him: ideally I would want to see you xyz I would like to do abc then def then ghi then jkl.

Me: I’m so glad you know what you’re looking for. I’m looking to meet 3-4 x a month with my benefactor. I would like us to enjoy a fulfilling and beneficial relationship where we both spoil each other. Ideally, I’m interested in a monthly/ weekly/ p4p allowance around the range of 2K/3K/5K a month or 500/750/1K p4p. I do have some financial obligations that I would like to take care of, and I would love for you to make an investment of your time and resources in my life. I promise that we’d both indulge in something fruitful and enable each other to be the best of our individual potentials. Let me know if this is something that interests you.

Him: blah blah blah low ball offer 500-1K less than your proposal

Me if I like him: Well, I believe that I can work with a 1.5K allowance, but I would have to meet 3x a month due to my work schedule/ school schedule. Is that alright, and I also like being spoiled with shopping dates, spa dates, and aesthetic dates as well. I hope this is alright with you?

Me if I do not like him: Well, I can honestly understand your obligations. Your proposal wouldn’t be sufficient to meet my monthly financial obligations, and I wish you nothing but the best in your search for an ideal sugar baby. Good luck.

I hope this helps you and other sugar sisters dipping their feet in the sugar bowl! May the sugar gods pour forth the sweetest sugar into your wallets!

Alright, so I’ve had a few questions on what a sugar tote should include, so here it is 💁🏻!

1) make up pouch: concealer, foundation, powder, lipstick, eye liner, & beauty blender

2) wallet: ID/ License, $50 cash, debit/ credit cards, metro cards

3) toiletries pouch: Tooth brush, tooth paste, deodorant, body spray, gum/ mints, lube, 2-3 condoms, make up wipes, feminine wipes, ibuprofen/ midol, tampons/ pads, hair brush, & lotion [all of which can be found in travel sizes from target/ Walmart/ wherever]

4) a small pocket knife &/ or mace [if you feel necessary]

5) clean panties (PLEASE)

You should always have these things in your tote because you never know when you’ll need these. Your make up or hair may mess up from intimacy. You may want to freshen up after intimacy so you don’t look like you just got dicked down real good few hours ago. Also, I cannot stress this enough, MAKE SURE YOUR PHONE IS ON/ NEAR YOU AT ALL TIMES! Always give someone your location or GPS location via Find My Friends. Have that designated friend on speed dial. If you want your identity to be concealed from your POT/ SD hide your DL/ ID/ Student ID behind other cards or in other unusual compartments of your wallet. I’ve had a SD venture into my wallet while I was in the bathroom, his excuse was I was putting some money in there. LOL SO CARELESS OF ME!

Make sure you have flats, sweats, a tee shirt, hoodie, and running shoes in your car. You never know when they can come in handy.

Good luck & stay safe sugar babies!