Jules

A PULSE. A BEAT. A SONG. LISTEN TO THE UNIVERSE SING.

Instead of cursing her to an eternal sleep or death, Maleficent declares that the princess will grow up to betray the kingdom and serve her instead. So the king sends Aurora away, but one day the young adventurous girl strays a bit too far and right into her territory.

1. Living Stones

these plants imitate rocks. who does that?

imagine deciding to straight up evolve into rocks as a defense mechanism. i had a whole rant planned but now i’m remembering that i have, in the past, on multiple occasions, daydreamed about being a rock. like that has been a recurring theme in my rich inner fantasy life. i would not forsake the opportunity to evolve into a stone.

2. Hooker’s Lips

ostentatious. flamboyant. vulgar. garish. randy. dare i say whorish? yes. this plant is whorish.

pucker up you hussy

3. Hoya Hearts

overused trope. lacks subtlety and creativity. truly, they just went with the first thought to pop in their head, no brainstorming involved. “ho ho ho i’m just gonna grow into a fucking HEART, that’ll show em!” Needy & basic bitch. looks cute on a desk

4. Lifesaver Plants

manages to be both psychedelic and disapproving. reminiscent of a prudish great aunt–but like, one who did a lot of LSD in the 70s. evidence of an alien lifeform who crash landed and then decided, fuck it, i’m gonna rent a one-story in the midwest and decorate it with vintage wood paneling & floral upholstery. probably smells like stale weed and glass ashtrays

5. Happy Alien Flowers

yes that is their NAME. sort of anticlimactic, but take a gander:

they are absolute sluts for drama, as demonstrated by the little hussies pictured above are YELLING AT ME. they bring to mind seagulls engaged in a Shakespearean blood feud. this flowers have committed aggravated manslaughter and probably got away with it too.

6. Bat Plant 

aka Cat’s Whiskers aka Devil Flower. how fucking emo is that??? this plant listens to mcr and is probably the gay cousin. they never got the hang of eyeliner but that doesn’t stop them from trying, bless em. their impetuous devil-may-care persona is hindered by their crippling social anxiety. i’m immensely fond of this plant. they’ll come into their own once they graduate and move away from college, but in the mean time they sit with the tech crew at lunch. you go little Bat Plant! 

 7. Dancing Plants

total band kids. also called Semaphore Plants, bc they look like they’re trying to flag down a plane. nifty fuckers 

#hello again martin and bosco!! sending you boys round for another go :)

Me: *unmutes it*

Stop Trump’s Plan for BLM to “Maximize Timber Production” in Oregon

The Trump administration is planning to revise the Resource Management Plans (RMPs) that guide the Bureau of Land Management’s (BLM) management of 2.5 million acres of Western Oregon’s public forests.

The Trump led proposal would undo decades of hard fought conservation work and put large swaths of mature and old growth forests on the chopping block. These forests provide critical habitat for endangered species and sequester incredible amounts of carbon. They are also naturally more fire resilient than the monocrop plantations that the BLM would replace them with. BLM’s Notice of Intent makes it clear that the purpose of these revisions is to increase industrial logging to “the maximum productive capacity of the lands”. This would mean the elimination of the last stands of mature and old growth on BLM lands and could lead to the extinction of endangered species like the Northern Spotted Owl and Marbled Murrelet.

Comments are due by Monday, March 23:

https://birdallianceoregon.org/take-action/stop-trumps-plan-for-blm-to-maximize-timber-production-in-oregon

This is the first step in the process, called “scoping.” While there may be future opportunities to comment, it’s critical to make our voices heard as early in the process as possible!