Much Ado About Everything

Morning coffee: a vignette of sorts.

It's been an intense year. I don't mean since the New Year, I mean it's been an intense year's worth of time. I find it funny how I can just keep going without realizing how much work I'm taking on, only to get stuck or caught up once almost all the extra work is done. The momentum just keeps building when I'm in the the thick of it, and I don't quite comprehend what I've done until I have a chance to step back and breathe. I get burnt out. Everyone does, but we never seem to talk about it as it's about to happen - we either warn each other to avoid it altogether or discuss it retroactively. I mean, sure, we might not always realize it as something that's *going* to happen, but I think we can get better at recognizing when we're doing too much and considering how that will affect us later on. Work culture - at least in the US - takes pride in overworking, as if you're not putting in enough effort unless you're sacrificing beyond what's been asked of you. "Work hard, play hard." "Go above and beyond." "110%." They sound like motivating, go-getter phrases, but are they really helpful in building endurance and dedication for your craft or set of skills? What's actually going to help you build meaningful relationships, mentorships, or partnerships in your line of work, or help you focus on putting your skills to their best use? I haven't had time to think about any of that stuff for a full year. I haven't properly given myself time to reflect on my work and figure out what's next for me, and that's a vital step that I'm missing. I'm about to turn 27 and I have 3-4 years' experience in my field. I'm confident in my skills, but it's a crucial time for me to decide how I want to continue putting them to use. I need to think about what's going to motivate me to keep going, and where or how I'm going to be happy delivering my services. I need to think about my day-to-day and what I want it to look like, and then I need to figure out how to get there. Getting burnt out happens. It's ok to admit it. I've been struggling to accept it these last couple of weeks, as if something's wrong with me, but I think it's just my mind and my body telling me to take a break. Slow down. Figure some things out. It's clearly working - it got me to write for myself, and I haven't done that in at least a year (if not 2... or 3). We all want to suceed so badly, and we think we have to suffer along the way. I don't think that's true. I think for me, I'll do my best work and make my best decisions when I make time for myself, and when I listen to what I have to say.

"...resign yourself to the influence of the earth." • #thoreau #walden #woods #earth #park #trees #nature (at Youngstown, Ohio)

No. Fucking. Filter. • • #nofilter #millcreekpark #youngstown #nature #autumn #fall #leaves #friday (at Youngstown, Ohio)

I have my best ideas when donuts are involved. • • #donuts #coffee #pumpkin #writing #ideas #poetry #prose #essays #ohio #friday (at Nova Coffee Co)

Stopped in to thaw my hands with tea, And to thaw my writing with some poetry. • • • #poetry #writing #autumn #fall #chillyday #tea #coffeeshop #freshstart #prose

One more chance to catch #communalspaces tomorrow, 12-5. @themotorcompanynyc (at Bushwick, Brooklyn)