i won't give up

Are you sure you weren’t already half past drunk at the time the drinks started talking to you, Jes? Do you honestly have no limit? That’s all it’ll take to shut you up? Okay.

Alright, that's a possibility, but it's the talking drinks that gave me this fuckin' slitting headache. I think the answer to that is no. Thanks, but hurry your little ass along to get me some then.

Again with the munchkin thing. But Jes, I’m so excited and so nervous, like, there is every possibility they turn around and say that it’s not happening. Fuck.

You are a munchkin. Wait, no, you're my munchkin. Don't even think like that, Ki. They would have to be outta' their fuckin' minds to say no to you.

Yeah, I did. I figured we could both use some coffee this morning. Plus, we were out of it in the house, so I’m here to scavenge some stuff. Just as long as you don’t eat him or make him watch inapprorpiate stuff, we’re good. Gosh, I haven’t seen Ella in what feels like weeks but I’ll make sure she and Wyatt will be the best of friends. Maybe they’ll even fall in love in the future! 

Ah, I see right throw you, Emilia Rivers, you're just using me for my coffee. Not that I'm complaining since you made me a mug too. Eat him? You have some weird mommy phobias going on right now 'cause cannibalism is pretty rare, believe it or not. She's doing really good and she's definitely going to latch onto Wyatt when they start having playdates. Dude, that would be the cutest thing ever.

Alright, got it. I’ll do my best and I’ll be the best wingman you’ve ever  or will ever get, man. Uh, just massive boobs really. Hair color, skin color, height doesn’t really matter. Just really, really big boobs. 

I'm gonna' hold you to that 'cause I've had Dani as a wingman before, mate, and she's pretty hard to beat. Alright, I'll keep my eye-line pretty low when seeking a girl for you.

Yeah, well, that’s your fault. And no, you can shut your pie hole, because I’m not taking a whiny little bitch with me.

It's not my fault. I don't mean to do it but then the drink literally calls my name. It goes 'Jesse, Jesse, I'm so lonely. Come party with me.' I can't say no to talking alcohol. If you're expecting me to shut up there better be coffee and fags.

Now, tell me what your type was again? Blonde, brunette or redhead. Or one of those dyed-hair chicks maybe? I need to know who to scope the minute we enter. 

Brunettes usually but I'm not gonna' turn a hot girl down 'cause of her hair colour. I can't be letting you do all the work though, man. What am I looking out for when I go in there?

But coffee is really easy. Hope you don’t mind but I brewed us cups while waiting for you to wake up. Wyatt’s actually been snuggling with you while I went and made the coffee. I think he even played with your hair for a bit but I don’t think you noticed it that much. God, trust me, I feel really old too. It’s like life’s getting too fast for me.

Did you actually? You're such a fuckin' babe, Ems. Nah, I was completely out but I don't mind having cuddles with this little one at all. I might just keep him here forever and you'll be so sleep deprived you won't even notice. I'll just keep him and Ella here hostage and force them to become best friends. Well, the next eighteen years of your life are probably gonna' slow it down a bit.

You talk a lot. Could you do that less? Oh, and here. Your shirt.

Fuckin' rude. Don't put a damper on my mood, mate. But thanks all the same.

No, I will not close the curtains. Man, it’s 11 AM. You need to get up already. Didn’t I tell you we had that thing today?

You did but that was before I got hammered last night and only got back at, like, three in the morning. I'll still come if you insist but expect constant complaining, man.

Yeah, he’s in a fairly surprising good mood today? Well, lucky you, I’m going to keep using him as a bribe for literally everybody because Wyatt’s better than food or offers for coffee. 

He's better than most foods, but it depends on how tired I am and how good the coffee is as to whether he's better than you getting me coffee. He's definitely better today though when he's all smile and adorable. He's growing so quickly; I can't believe it. He's making me feel old.

Pay attention, man. I said you're sitting on my shirt and I kinda' need it if we're gonna' leave the apartment. I mean, I could go out without it and a lot of girls probably wouldn't be complaining but the Mrs Heidenburg next door would be pretty pissed if I started walking around shirtless again after she screamed at me for it last time.

That’s because parties like these are like the best parties ever. Lots of hot girls and free booze. What more is there? Come on, man. This is me you’re talking to. I’ll have you drunk and hooking up with a hot girl before we leave, guaranteed. We both will, let’s be honest. 

True, I forgot you were a Donati. Alright, I suppose I can get up for the promise of a hot girl and getting even more trashed than I was last night. Pass me my jeans from the dresser though.

I figured I could use my own baby as a way to tempt you into waking up. Wyatt, say hi to Uncle Jesse. 

Hey there, kiddo! Aw, look at the little baby. He's not even crying or anything. This is a weird bribe but I can't sleep now the baby's here.