I Wanna Be A (Space) Cowboy, Baby

[on the phone] “Yeah the tarot reader turned over a card and it was an old woman slowly dying in a house fire. Then the next one was the Heavy from TF2. … No, Red. Is that bad?”

my family fucked up my life by using spoonerisms interchangeably with their true phrase counterparts since before i was born and now i can’t escape from instinctively saying shit like “im gonna shake a tower”

Hello everyone, I am humilationvictim's mother. it is with a heavy heart that i inform you my daughter took her own life this evening due to the cyberbullying on this platform. what did you all think of her? did you like her or have a crush on her? tbh or rate /10?

i fuckin hate games where u furnish/decorate a house because it reminds me i truly have no fucking idea what youre supposed to have in a room

At work hours you interact with my normalsona named hetero jessica

Stop clicking on my thighs. Bro my cum meter isn't moving. You need to click elsewhere.